In A Bullet-Proof Vest
by HeyThereLionMan
Summary: ***Formerly known as 'Find You'*** "He realised that it didn't matter how she'd snuck into his mind and heart. It didn't matter when he'd fallen in love with her or how. All that mattered was that she stayed with him." H/P pairing, missing scenes from seasons 2-7 [with a prologue]. Starts off slow, but gets better!
1. Prologue

The morning was cold, but sunny, a haze of clouds hanging over the building as Aaron Hotchner stood before the Ambassador's... house.

If he was sure of one thing in his life, it was that _this _was not a house. If anything, it was a mansion. A freaking white and gold-trimmed mansion with a mile-high white fountain that sat in front of it as if simultaneously welcoming you and bragging about how much money they had.

With a sigh, he glanced down at his papers. He was doing security for the Ambassador and he figured that she wouldn't be happy to find him standing there gawking at her house. Aaron made his way forward, cautiously knocking on the door of the house, only to be greeted by a girl, no older than 21 or 22, whipping the door open and immediately freezing in place.

For a moment, neither moved. The girl stared at him and he stared at her. She was beautiful. Gorgeous. Aaron had never really had a thing for brunettes, but this particular one was making it difficult for him to remember that he was married. This probably would have gone on for hours, days even, if she hadn't broken the silence.

"So you're either a terrible salesman or my mom's new security guard."

Aaron bristled at what she said.

"I'm not a security guard," He retorted, lamely. She rolled her eyes at his response, and turned around, motioning for him to follow her.

"I'm Emily Prentiss. You're doing the clearance for my mother, I assume."

"Yes, I am." Aaron replied as Emily led him down the hallway toward her mother's study. It was long and windy, leading him to ponder the idea that she was actually just trying to get him lost. Instead, she stopped in front of a door and gave it an annoyed glare.

"Here, this is her office," She winced slightly and added a "But don't barge in. She'll kill you for that."

Aaron nodded his thanks and was about to knock on the door when Emily frowned and spoke.

"You never told me your name."

He paused a moment, but relented. It wasn't as if he'd ever see her again.

"Hotchner. Aaron Hotchner."

She placed her hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow.

"No... too long. I'm gonna call you Hotch."

He let out a snort but dipped his head in agreement to the nickname. As if it'd ever catch on.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Rossi studied Aaron thoughtfully as he spoke to his new subordinate. Derek Morgan, he was called. The BAU was getting better, what with the oldest member leaving and them now taking on this Morgan guy, as well as Jason Gideon. If he trusted what he heard, they also had their eyes on some new kid. Reid or something. Apparently he was a certified genius.

Rossi sighed as he made his way over towards the new guy. He was leaving pretty soon. It had been too many years. Too many cases. All he wanted to do now was hunt animals, not unsubs and use his analyzing skills to determine the best women to talk to when he went out.

As he came up to Aaron to introduce himself to Morgan, he noticed his friend shake the newest team member's hand and introduce himself as 'Hotch'. He frowned. Where had that name come from? He had never heard Hayley call him that. Shrugging it off, he figured it was just easier to say than Hotchner.

It's not as if it meant anything.

**So that's it! Hope you guys like it, even though it's a bit short. I figured that if the two of them had a really long history then this would end up super AU and I want it to follow the storyline pretty closely. Sorry if I got some things wrong, I have no idea when Gideon joined the BAU because I haven't watched the first few seasons in a long time. Anyway, enjoy!**


	2. Will you be true, When I find you?

Episode: Last Word

It had taken Hotch a moment, sure, but something told him that in his entire life he would never forget her face. He had tried to hedge the conversation forward in an attempt to get her to remember him. He even brought up the whole security thing. But she didn't recognize him. All Prentiss did was nod slightly, listening to Hotch babble on in the most incoherent state that he'd ever been in. If he was being painfully true, it broke him a little bit The awkward lulls in conversation finally prompted Hotch to finally blurt out what he needed to.

"What can I do for you?"

"Uh, well, I- I guess I was hoping you could tell me where to put my stuff."

"Sorry?" Hotch's heart began to beat faster and a panicky feeling rose through him. He remained still, though, fighting the urge to yell, 'NO' and make her leave. He wondered if he could call security without her noticing.

"I- I'm supposed to start here ... today, at the BAU."

No. Mental images of working alongside this woman _daily_ flashed through his mind. Sitting in close quarters on the plane, hotel rooms, dinners and drinks with the team.

He definitely would not be able to handle that.

"There's been a mistake."

"I don't think so, sir." Hotch shrugged off the small bite of sadness. Prentiss was the one who had given him the name Hotch, and yet here she was calling him 'Sir'. He hated it.

"There's definitely been a mistake." He murmured as JJ entered the room, flashing a quick smile at Prentiss.

"Oh, excuse me. We're getting started."

"Thank you, I'll be right there." He was almost glad for the case at that moment, to escape from his sudden onset of feelings.

"I didn't approve this transfer, Agent Prentiss," Hotch began slowly. "I'm sorry for the confusion but you've been misinformed. Excuse me, it's ... very good to see you again."

At least he had meant the last part.

As Hotch left the room, joining up with Gideon, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something bigger at play here. A kind of sick, twisted, karmic fate for him that would end up never going away.

One thing he could say about this job, it certainly helped take his mind off things.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Hotch was exhausted. It was one in the morning and all he wanted to do was put away his stuff and go home to Hayley and Jack.

But there she was.

"Please tell me you haven't been there for the last four days." He sighed, ignoring the slight jump in his stomach when he saw Prentiss sitting there.

"I heard you were flying back tonight." She spoke with an air of dejection and it pained him that he couldn't give her what she wanted.

"Heard? How- How could you have heard a thing like that?" Prentiss ignored the question, distrust rising unpleasantly in his belly.

"This was dropped off today." Hotch noted the fact she was trying to establish trust between them by giving him the folder. He wondered how long she'd been waiting in his office.

"I appreciate your interest Agent but," He paused for a moment, noting that he had just called her Agent. "Profiling is a specialty. We can't just let anyone who wants to give it a whirl."

"The I-80 killer? Co-eds in Indiana?"

"Yes, I read it on the plane." Hotch was avoiding eye-contact now, willing her to leave. But he had heard the spark in her voice. He knew what was coming.

"They aren't blitz attacks," He looked up, frowning. Maybe he hadn't known what was coming. Maybe ... he could hear her out.

"This guy's organized. He's a white male, early thirties. And a smooth talker, because even after eleven victims, he can still convince educated women, who know there's a predator out there, to get into his car."

Hotch studied her for a second. He was impressed. He had drawn much the same conclusions himself. "How would you advise the police?"

"I would stake out 'The Ranch House', a nightclub in Gary, they have a very popular ladies' night on Thursdays." His mind began to switch over into profiling mode and he wondered how soon they could get onto the case. Thursday was only a few days away.

"If you look closely you'll see that eight out of the eleven victims went missing on a Friday morning, so something gets this creeps' motor running on Thursdays."

There was an intense silence as Hotch pondered this information. She had gotten all that from _just _a few hours of reading over the file. Suddenly, he threw all feelings and emotions out the window. She had the paperwork, she had the skillset and from what little he knew of her, she had the personality to get along with the team.

"This isn't a whirl, Agent Hotchner. I don't know how the paperwork got screwed up or maybe you think my parents pulled some strings which they didn't, by the way. I belong in this unit and all I'm asking you for is the chance to show you that."

Hotch could feel the passion in her voice. He could see her unwavering expression staring him down, waiting for an answer.

"I still need to look into this, I'm not promising anything." His barriers began collapsing as Prentss breathed out a "Understood."

"We brief new cases every morning at 10 AM, you can see Facilities Management about a desk."

"You won't be sorry."

Hotch ignored the last comment, choosing to turn away instead and only looked back as she grabbed her box of stuff and left his office. She was moving quickly, excitedly and for a moment his mind flashed back to when he had first met her. The memory washed over him and he closed his eyes, trying to will himself not to get caught up in it.

Emily Prentiss was now part of his team.

_**Hope you guys found this realistic! I watched those two scenes so slowly that I barely knew what was going on. Also: I'm naming the chapters after song lyrics that I think represent each chapter :) If you have any suggestions for songs, possible future chapters, or just want to give me a review (hint hint) then check out the big box below this!**_

_**Song: Find You by Brianna Gaither**_


	3. Let me memorize that face

Episode: Lessons Learned

"I think you should take Prentiss with you to Guantanamo."

Gideon looked up at his friend, surprise etched over his face. "S'cuse me?"

"She could be of help." Of course, Hotch didn't mention that he wanted to distance himself somewhat from her. He loved Hayley and wanted to keep things that way, despite the disagreement they had had earlier.

"I don' know enough about her abilities. There's plenty for her to do back here."

"Well I don't know what she's capable of either; we've got to find out sooner or later."

"It's an interrogation, not a training exercise."

"She's the only member of the team fluent in Arabic."

"Well there're other translators."

"Yeah but they haven't studied behaviour."

"She even have her ready bag yet?"

Hotch glanced over at Prentiss' desk, noting the woman's standing position and her hands clutching said bag.

"My guess is there's not much this woman's unprepared for."

Gideon eyed him for a moment and Hotch wondered how much he was profiling about himself. Hotch tried to distract his friend by glancing over at Prentiss, who was trying to look like she wasn't listening in.

Gideon turned away, walking down the stairs and brushing past Prentiss with a brusque, "Car leaves in four minutes." Prentiss practically beamed at him, calling after his retreating figure with a quick,

"Yes, sir!"

She turned to follow after Gideon, but not before flashing Hotch a quick grin of thanks. Watching as she darted after his friend, Hotch vainly attempted to tamp down the butterflies that sprung up in his stomach. He pressed his lips together to prevent himself from smiling and turned to head back into his office.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Emily froze as Gideon spoke. They had been right. There had been a trap. Suddenly, her mind flashed to the Morgan, the man she had exchanged exactly two words with. What if he had died? What if he just completely disappeared from her life without ever really being in it? Even more than that, what if Agent Hotchner died? It wasn't as if she and him had a strong emotional connection (or any connection at all) but he had heard her out about the Indiana case. He had allowed her to join the extremely exclusive team and had convinced Gideon to let her come along. You don't do all those things for someone you don't particularly like, do you?

Emily's mind flashed even farther back to the summer before she had gone off to college. She had remembered Agent Hotchner. Remembered that she had seen him around her house a few times that summer. Remembered she had called him Hotch. She quickly directed her attention back to Gideon, who at that moment, spoke,

"One SWAT agent died,"

Emily felt horrible at the momentary relief that flooded through her. She forced her mind to move off the subject of Hotch and back onto the case.

"Was there any sign of anthrax?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

His breath caught in his throat as he ran up the stairs and into his and Hayley's bedroom. Jack was playing with some stuffed animal and for a moment he paused to take in the scene. They had waited to take the pictures. They had never been in danger. Hotch leaned down, feeling like he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. No case had ever hit this close to home before. He prayed no case ever would again. Hayley's hand ran through his hair and he waved a toy in front of Jack as his mind momentarily flashed to Prentiss. In that moment he realised that he couldn't feel the same. Wouldn't ever feel the same. She was a colleague and Hayley was his wife.

"Is everything ok?"

"Everything's perfect."

_**Ok, so this kinda gave me feels and I'm so sorry these are so short, but I'm writing these as I watch the episodes and I just really want to get inspired which is proving difficult. Anyway, so I hope you drop me a review and tell me how I'm doing! Hopefully this whole fic will get better as I go on. **_

_**Song: Sunshine in your Eyes - Oh My!**_


	4. We came here lost

Episode: Revelations

The cool night air swirled around Hotch's body and he hugged himself tightly to keep warm. For the last half hour he had been staring up at the sky, trying to pinpoint different constellations. But more than that, he had been murmuring apology after apology under his breath to Spencer.

_I'm sorry I wasn't there for you_

_I'm sorry I let you down_

_I'm sorry that you had to experience that_

_I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner_

His mind was so focused on the younger profiler that he almost didn't hear the sound of footsteps coming up behind him.

Emily bit her lip. Hotch's voice as he murmured was downright hot. Of course, she would never tell him that, but that didn't mean she couldn't sit back and listen to it for a few seconds.

"Hey, Hotch? We're going to board in like, 20 minutes. You ok?"

Hotch closed his eyes at the sound of Prentiss' voice. With a violent shiver, he chastised himself for continuing to call her Prentiss.

_Emily. Her name is Emily._

But he couldn't make himself say it. He knew, he just _knew _that if he started calling her Emily, things would spiral downwards. He was the Unit Chief. He had to remain unbiased. He scoffed at that, remembering his thoughts when she had first started working at the BAU.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Hotch," Emily began, coming up beside him and glancing at him with a pitying expression etched all over her face. "You're shaking."

"I'm j- j- just a bit cold, I- I'll meet up with you guys i- in twenty mi- minutes." He scolded himself as he began to stutter out words. It was just a bit of weather! If he couldn't handle that, how could he handle Spencer almost dying? Or the fact that every day on the job, each of them had the possibility of facing the very same fate?

"Hotch, listen to me," Emily's voice grounded him quickly and he swivelled his pale face towards her. "You're turning blue before my eyes and I can't have an icicle for a Unit Chief, so we're going to go to the car and then ride to the airport and fly home, alright?"

He dipped his head, following behind her like a lost puppy. His mind was foggy with confusion and sadness and all he wanted to do was get home, get to bed and then wake up, go to work and say to Spencer everything he hadn't been able to say before.

They walked to the car in silence, Emily immediately ushering Hotch into the passenger seat and throwing a sweater on top of him to warm him up. She apologized softly for the lack of heat as they began to drive. She kicked herself for not heating up the car beforehand. It was halfway through the ride when Hotch spoke.

"I wish I could compartmentalize like you can." He admitted, his voice tentative, soft.

Emily glanced over, then shook her head slowly. "No you don't. I block things out, hide them away. I don't forget things," Emily sighed softly and continued, spilling her secrets before she even realised that she was.

"Sometimes, I'll be dreaming and those secrets that I've locked away... I'll remember them. All of them. They'll just come in wave after wave after wave of nightmares and it's all because I tried to lock it away. So no, Hotch, you shouldn't want to have to experience that."

Emily exhaled slowly, unsure of what to say after such a deep and secret thing. Emily pondered that moment for a few seconds, wondering why she opened up to Hotch, of all people. She noticed how he hadn't said anything. With a pained sigh, she glanced over at him only to see that he was completely and utterly fast asleep. Emily smiled to herself. Despite the fact that she felt slightly disappointed that Hotch hadn't heard her admittance, Emily enjoyed the sight of a sleeping Hotch. He was surprisingly adorable when sleeping.

It was probably the lack of a scowl.

But what Emily didn't know was that Hotch wasn't actually asleep. He had closed his eyes to picture the moment when Spencer had whispered, '_I knew you'd understand_'. It physically hurt him at that moment that he wasn't closer to the team. Maybe if he'd been closer he could have whispered an apology or told Spencer how he thought of him as a son. Then Emily had started talking about her nightmares and Hotch had been forced to ball his fists under her sweater (which smelled pleasantly like Emily) to prevent himself from literally throwing himself at her and pulling her into a fierce hug right there in the middle of the road. As he adjusted himself under the sweater, figuring he may as well try and sleep when he could, he began to run little messages to his two teammates through his head until he fell asleep.

_I'm going to make it up to you, Spencer._

_I'm going to help you get rid of your nightmares, Emily._

_**PHEW! So this is definitely my best yet. I kind of want to apologize for the first two, they were just kind of there to lay groundwork for their relationship. I'll start doing a mix of actual scenes and in-between scenes like this one. Thanks for the reviews, please keep it up and I really, really hope you keep reading!**_

_**Song: I'm With You – The Stills **_


	5. Time is Hard to Kill Since I Met You

Episode: Jones

"I'm worried about Reid."

Hotch looked up at the woman before him, slightly breathy from lugging her large go bag around. Just what women packed for what they had predicted was going to be about a 4-5 day case he had no idea.

"We all are."  
He smiled slightly as he saw her visibly relax.

"Really? Thank _God_. I thought it was just me." Emily sat down in the chair beside him, running her hands through her hair slowly as her mind whirled.

"Yeah, I didn't exactly know what to say to him," Hotch stopped and for a moment he completely zoned out. Emily waited patiently for a minute or two before coughing politely and seeing Hotch suddenly come back, dazed.

"S- Sorry," He murmured. "I just realised that I didn't do anything to help him with his- er... problem."

"Well there isn't much you could have done. He was, no, _is _in a dark place. I think Gideon's talking to him now." Hotch glanced over at Emily, who as studying him carefully. He wondered if she was profiling him.

"Yes, but I'm Unit Chief. If things like that happen, I can't just let it slide. What if somebody found out? Hell, what if Strauss found out?" It was Hotch's turn to look panicky and he played his part well. Emily bit her lip as she tried to refrain from running her hand down his arm to calm him down.

"You do that, you know. Bite your lip. It's one of your tells."

"Don't start profiling me, Hotch," Emily warned softly.

Hotch closed his eyes, murmuring almost to himself, "Sorry. It's just what I do. I'm worried, my senses are going into hyperactive mode." His eyes flashed open and he glanced over at Emily thoughtfully.

"I paired you with Reid for a reason, you know." Her eyebrows raised about a foot at that and he smiled as she began to splutter.

"Wh- Bu- Why?"

"Because," He replied simply. "If I had been with him, he would have been nervous, cowered away from me and possibly gotten worse from the pressure of leading a double life. Morgan would probably have just dropped the matter entirely and I wanted to save Gideon until he was ready to talk."

"So why me?" Hotch raised his eyes to hers and blinked.

"You weren't going to let it go. If I had continued to pair him with you, you eventually would have just confronted him. Yeah, he would have been mad, but after a while he'd just come out and admit it."

Emily just sat there, mouth slightly open in indignation at what she had just heard. But as she ran over it in her head, she realised it was true. She had already tried to bring it up with Reid several times already and each time he got more and more irritable.

How in HELL was Hotch that perceptive? For a moment her mind wandered to how perceptive he was about other things, until his voice pulled her back.

"We should probably get going. Do you know when he and Gideon were going to be back?"

"I think around 11," Emily replied slowly. Hotch dipped his head and stood, beginning to pack his stuff together. The rest of the team had already taken one of the cars to go to the airport, leaving one for Emily and Hotch.

The two made their journey in silence, both contemplating the conversation they'd just had. When they finally reached the airport, Hotch put out an arm, holding Emily's sleeve as he indicated the two people entering through the doors of the building.

"Reid and Gideon. Leave them a bit of breathing room." Emily nodded and they waited for a few minutes, Emily painfully aware of the fact that Hotch's hand was still grasping her sleeve and had begun to rub it unconsciously. She gritted her teeth slightly, reminding herself of the ring he currently wore and all that it symbolized.

Finally, he released her sleeve and left the car, Emily following behind. They continued their silence until just before they boarded the plane. As they made their way up the steps, Emily grasped Hotch's sleeve this time, smirking quickly as his breath hitched as he turned to face her.

"Hotch?"

"Yes, Prentiss?"

"Thanks for pairing me with Reid."

Hotch just smiled, understanding the veiled message of thanks for trusting her enough to let her loose on the situation that plagued the addled genius.

"No problem."

_**Oh my god, this went on for longer than I thought it would. Everyone enjoying the sexual tension? I certainly hope so. I feel like I should apologize, considering that, if my plans all work out, they won't actually start up a relationship until the last episode of Season 7. On that note, I'm cutting out the part where Emily leaves. Not because I hate SSA Blake, but because it wouldn't fit. So that means no Emily leaving and no Beth. Hopefully those are the only two major plot twists that I cut out! Send me a review to tell me how I'm doing and SEND ME SUGGESTIONS FOR EPISODES AND WHAT TO DO. OR ELSE I'LL UPDATE EXTREMELY INFREQUENTLY. AND NOBODY WANTS THAT.**_

_**Song: Little Numbers - BOY**_


	6. Pools of Sorrow, Waves of Joy

Episode: Ashes and Dust

"A separation, a loss."

Emily glanced quickly over at her boss, analyzing him for a moment, studying his behaviour with a finely honed skill. His words were heavy with underlying meaning and some kind of sadness that she couldn't grasp. Her eyes flitted back to the screen, where pictures of the crimes swam before her eyes. Emily knew something was up with Hotch and she was determined to find out what.

OoOoOoOoOoO

It was devastating, listening to Charlotte talk about the fire. Despite the fact she had done this before (although not this exact situation) Emily almost wanted to punch a wall and scream as she listened to the woman crying out for someone to help her. She suddenly understood Derek's need to tackle UNSUBS. It was to give them a moment of shock and pain to make up for the hell they put the whole BAU through. One look at Hotch told her he felt the same way and was barely holding on.

"Can you tell them I'm not ready?" The woman pleaded, a nervous look in her eyes as her gaze darted from Hotch to Emily.

"Agent Prentiss will tell them. Call Morgan and Gideon." He added as Emily left the room. For a moment after leaving, she stopped and leaned against the door, hoping that on the day she died, it wouldn't end like that.

She knew Hotch had seen her face and had guessed that she was too nervous to handle the last moments Charlotte Cutler had left. She knew his telling her to leave the room was his way of explaining that she had nothing to be ashamed of. Emily wondered if he realised that he was probably feeling worse than her.

About 10 or 15 minutes later, Hotch left the room, silent as he stripped the yellow poncho- like clothing off his suit. With a quick glance at Emily, he murmured out the words she had both been expecting and dreading.

"She died. Just now. I ... She fell asleep and didn't wake up. I didn't get any more information." His sentences were monotone and emotionless, and Emily reached up and ghosted a hand on his shoulder, realising how hard he had taken her death but not understanding why.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'll tell the nurses, you warm up the car."

Hotch was grateful to Emily as he turned and walked down the hallway, shaking slightly as he turned the handle to open the hospital doors. His mind flashed to the argument he and Hayley had had earlier, which had ended with her blurting out the words he had been waiting to hear for the last month or so,

"I think we should separate."

Even thinking about it, his stomach flipped, a feeling of nausea and sadness rising to kill all feelings of hope that had remained in the wreckage of his marriage. Sure, in the last while he had never said it was a strong marriage, but that didn't mean he had no feelings for his wife, no cherished memories and never-to-be-forgotten moments in their lives.

But she wanted to forget them. She wanted to erase him from her life and start over.

_With Jack, probably_, Hotch thought, bitterly. Shaking these thoughts from his head, he opened up the dark SUV and slid the key into the ignition, flipping through radio stations and landing on one that was playing 'Across the Universe' by the Beatles.

Leaning back in his seat, Hotch began to take in the lyrics, mulling over them in his head until he heard the car door open and smelled a faint whiff of some kind of perfume. It was Emily, obviously, but for a moment he listened to the lyrics of the song, the words almost giving him physical pain as he realised how they applied to his life.

_Pools of sorrow waves of joy__  
__Are drifting through my opened mind__  
__Possessing and caressing me_

Emily waited patiently, pretending to text someone as Hotch mulled over things in his mind, thinking of Emily. She caused the waves of joy in his life, not Hayley. The thought made him wanted to ball up in a corner and rock away the emotions.

Straightening up, he let out a sigh, then cleared his throat and buckled his seatbelt, showing Emily that he could do his job. The song switched to some other old rock song and Hotch's mind emptied of thoughts of his wife and of Emily, forcing him to return to the present.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"You want Abbey or the ex-wife?"  
"Abbey." Hotch replied, stepping immediately forward and passing Gideon and Emily to go back to the safe haven of the SUV. Emily cast a quick glance at Gideon, both of them realising something was wrong. The man had just realised he was a murder suspect and was probably panicking, and Hotch had just offered to sign on for hours of following him monotonously in a car.

Gideon nodded to Emily quickly and she dashed after him as fast as she could in heels, trying to catch up to her swiftly moving Unit Chief. They rode in silence for a while after Abbey, until they stopped and Hotch mumbled out that he needed to call Hayley. Emily took this as a sign to start fake texting again, which she did so, readily.

"Aaron."

"Hayley." Hotch breathed, aware of the woman beside him, but trying to ignore the fact.

"Are you coming back soon?"

"Honey, I don't know."

She didn't respond with any indication that she had heard the term of endearment, just answered with a, "We should talk. Try and get back as soon as you can."

"I will, and I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Just come back soon."

"Ok, I love you too." He added the 'too' in to try and get her to say it. To try and guilt her into saying the words to him. She hung up instead, had hung up before he had said 'I love you, too.' But Emily didn't need to know that. Without even looking at her, he knew she knew something was wrong.

"Everything ok?"

Always there to pick up the pieces. To reshape and reform the great Aaron Hotchner after Hayley ripped a piece of him away.

"Yup." He responded, trying to sound like he wanted her to think he was. But it didn't work. She saw right through him. Instead of building on it, though, she steered the conversation away to Abbey, purposely trying to think of a time to bring it back up.

She did so on the ride back to the station.

"So Charlotte dying... that must have been pretty rough."

"Take a right here, I think. And innocent people dying is, but it's the nature of the job." Emily took the preferred turn, then slowed to a stop and turned to Hotch.

"Alright, what's going on with you?" She demanded, but not in a harsh tone. She didn't want to threaten him.

"Nothing. Why are you stopped?"

" Because you've been especially quiet, had a bad conversation with Hayley, lied to a material witness and then watched her die. Hotch, it's safe to say something's up and nobody expects you to be totally on top of your game right now."

"Do you actually believe I trust you less than I do Derek or Reid?" Hotch asked, surprising Emily.

"I did, but I don't anymore. I feel a part of this team. But Hotch, you hold us all at arm's length and it's not going to end well for you if you do that," Emily paused, biting her lip unconsciously as she wondered how to proceed. "Let us help."

He turned away from her, looking out the window and up at the sky. "Hayley wants a trial separation." He responded, dully. Emily sucked in her breath and reached over, touching his arm slightly.

"I'm so sorry."

"No, I should have seen it coming, in hindsight it wasn't a secret." He looked so defeated, so sad and defenceless.

"After this I'll convince the team to go out and we can grab some drinks, ok?"

"I can't, I promised Hayley we'd..." Hotch pressed his lips together tightly and looked down, then back up, staring straight ahead. "Talk."

Emily winced at his words but dipped her head slightly, realising she couldn't press him for any more information. She turned the car back on, motioning silently that Hotch could change the station. He did, to some obscure one that Emily had never heard, but enjoyed in the silence of the car.

As they drove back to the station, Hotch stared out the window, the music on the radio a replacement for conversation. He stared up at the sky, he stars appearing to move forward quickly as they drove down a street. He wished that Hayley would see reason. He wished that Jack wouldn't have to grow up split between two homes.

He wished that someone could show him what to do.

_**Wow 1,500 words. I'm actually so proud of this one, even if it may be a bit OOC. Tell me if I'm straying too far from the characters and I'll try and make them more similar to their tv counterparts. But for now, RATE, REVIEW, FOLLOW.**_

_**BUT MOSTLY REVIEW. Seriously, I have nine atm and I actually adore reading them, so even if it's just a short little one, or if it's a long paragraph, I will love you for it! Feel free to give me any kind of suggestions or tell me something you want me to work into the story. If I get enough votes for something, I'll add in a bit of another ship, if that's what people want. **_

_**Song: Across the Universe – The Beatles **_


	7. Hello, Have You Got Some Place to Go?

Episode: Honour Among Thieves

"Oh God, please tell me we have a secret stash of hard liquor somewhere." Emily practically collapsed onto the couch in Hotch's office, completely oblivious to the weird look she was receiving.

"We have caffeinated tea and an espresso machine." Hotch responded, dryly. "Why?"

"Lunch. With my mother. Christ, you actually have no liquor? None at all?" Her voice was pleading, but somewhat playful. He gave her a sad smile.

"Sorry, fresh out."

"Augh, figures." Emily rubbed her face quickly, glancing up at Hotch with a sigh.

"Why, what was so bad? You seemed to be doing alright while working the case."

"That's why I agreed to lunch. But then..." Emily shook her head slowly. "It all went to shit."

Hotch snorted at Emily's swearing. She wasn't really one for harsh language and this sudden break into her character was surprising.

"How so?"

"She started asking me about relationships. Moreover, current ones involving anyone she knows even remotely."

"So she started asking you how close you're getting to anyone she knows within ten years of you?" Hotch felt an uncomfortable stirring in his belly, expecting exactly what she said next.

"Yeah, she started asking me about the members of the BAU." Emily sighed, clearly annoyed. "I had to remind her that you were married, Gideon is like a father to me and Derek is like a brother. I don't know, I feel like she doesn't realise that we're like a family, not a dating show."

Hotch smiled at the idea of the BAU being on a dating show. It was just too absurd.

"Well, maybe she has your best interests at heart?" He suggested. He had never had the same problem as she was having, but it wasn't like he couldn't sympathise.

"Ha! You know, the only people she asked me about were the ones who had connections. Full disclosure, she only asked me about you, some guy I barely know who's apparently a duke and a few others who're apparently distantly related to the royal family." Emily rolled her eyes and scanned the room, giving up when she saw no hint of liquor. Not even cough syrup.

Hotch felt his stomach flip when he heard her say '_she only asked me about you'_. Immediately after, he chastised himself for letting such a stupid little thing go to his head.

"Me? I don't really have connections." Hotch responded slowly, trying to sound as though he hadn't just had another 'Emily Prentiss' moment. He seemed to be having a lot lately.

"Yeah but you're a super important Unit Chief. And it helps you probably have a secret stash of billions of dollars hidden away in Switzerland or something. Her words, not mine."

Hotch raised his eyebrows about a foot at that. "Ah, no, now that you know my secret I'm going to have to kill you. Does she actually think I'm filthy rich, though?"

"I don't know. She's just convinced you're super professional, which you are, and apparently a good fit for me. I think she wants me to start up an illicit romance with you just so she can tell everyone her son-in-law is a fancy-ass Unit Chief."

"Wait, she wants us to get married?"

"Did I say son-in-law? I meant daughter's-secret-boyfriend-who-is-married-but-that-doesn't-matter-because-Ambassador-Prentiss gets-whatever-she-wants."

Hotch sipped his coffee to cover the broad grin he had. "What, you mean you don't feel the sexual tension between us, Prentiss?"

"Sorry Hotch," Emily replied, massaging her temples now. "I have morals."

"And I don't?"

"I need a drink."

"It's 2 in the afternoon. Hell, we're supposed to be doing paperwork, but everyone disappeared."

"You really expected them to sit around for 3 hours and do paperwork?" Emily gave Hotch a pitying look, which he just scowled at.

"Just because I'm the only one here with a work ethic..."

"C'mon, I'm pretty sure they're all set to get as drunk as I want to be. We might as well join them."

"It's _2 in the afternoon._"

"Yes," Emily began, grabbing her coat and standing. "But somewhere in the world its 5, which means it's high time to get my drink on."

Hotch watched helplessly as Emily strutted out of his office, leaving him to glance down at his own stack of paperwork, mutter 'W_hat the hell.', _and grab his own coat to run after her.

"Nice of you to join me." Emily grinned as Hotch dashed into the elevator. He only grunted a reply, quickly switching topics.

"So why does your mom want someone who's rich? Aren't you guys already pretty well-off with your white mansion?"

"You've seen our house?" Emily glanced up, trying not to give away the fact that she knew he had seen her house. She knew he had been inside her house. She was the one who had dubbed him Hotch.

"Yeah, I did security clearances for your mother, remember? You were off to _Yale._" Emily smiled at that, remembering their conversation when she had first joined the BAU. They had left the elevator by now and Hotch motioned to his car, which Emily piled into.

"Oh, right. Yeah, I remember you wandering around a few times. You were our security guard."

Hotch bristled just like he had when Emily had first met him. "I was not a _security guard_" He spat, saying the words as if they were a swear. "I was doing security clearances."

"Eh, same thing. Take the next left and go straight for about three blocks."

"It's not even close to the same thing!" Hotch cried, indignantly.

"Sure, sure."

They rode in silence for the rest of the ride, eventually making it to the bar where the rest of the team had gathered, sans Gideon.

"How'd you rope Hotch into coming?" JJ asked halfway through the evening. The man in question was having some kind of discussion with Derek and Reid while Garcia, JJ and Emily all sat together in the corner of the booth.

"No idea. We were talking about my mother and my lunch date when she tried to play matchmaker and set me up with Hotch and it just ended with him joining me in my quest to get drunk."

Emily shifted and studied Hotch thoughtfully, completely missing the meaningful glances that Garcia and JJ were shooting each other.

_**Song: Hi, Hey There, Hello – The Mowgli's**_


	8. That Sinking Feeling is Getting Stronger

Episode: The Evilution of Frank

The pounding in her heart almost gave her away. Emily gulped visibly and glanced out the window of Strauss' office, relief flooding her as she saw no familiar faces. Turning back to the blonde before her, she cleared her throat again and spoke in as steady a voice as she could muster.

"Can I have some time to think about it?"

"Of course. I'll be checking up on you and your team during and after each case, but you may have up to 2 months. Any longer and I will assume you are siding with Aaron Hotchner and the rest of your team." Strauss sat down, looking over the paperwork that lined her desk. Emily paused a moment, realising she had just been dismissed and stood, turning without a farewell and left the office.

"Hey, Em. What did the Strauss want with you?" Emily snapped her head to the side, seeing Derek studying her with thought as she re-entered the bullpen.

"Nothing. Why would you think she wanted something with me? I never did anything." Emily snapped. Immediately after, she regretted her words, seeing Derek's wounded face.

"Sorry. It was just... stressful." Derek nodded in understanding. But he didn't understand. How could he?

"Prentiss, I'd like to see you in my office. Now." Emily glanced up as she sat at her desk, just in time to see Hotch's retreating figure.

"Goddamn, two reprimands in a row." Emily shook her head slowly, turning helplessly to Derek, who appeared sympathetic.

"It's ok, we'll go out later today and you can bash Hotch and Strauss all you'd like."

Emily smiled graciously and mounted the steps into Hotch's office, feeling suspiciously like she was ascending the stairs to her death.

"Sit, please." Hotch waved his hand lazily as Emily entered. His face was buried in paperwork and for a moment he didn't look up. Emily cleared her throat and began.

"Your intimidation methods won't work on me, Hotch. I know why you called me in here and postponing this conversation to get me off my balance won't work. Out with it."

Hotch looked up, impressed that she knew what he was doing.

"Alright. Why did she call you in and not the rest of the team?"

"Because she was reprimanding me."

"For what?"

Emily paused. She had rehearsed the story in her head, over and over. "She felt my abilities weren't up to par with Elle Greenaway's."

"That's bullshit, Prentiss. What was the real reason?"

Emily froze, eyes locking with Hotch's. For a moment neither spoke, they just stared back at each other, gazes frozen on the other person.

"It's ... no excuse, Hotch. That was the reason, take it or leave it."

Hotch eyed her for a moment, and then leaned forward so he was closer to Emily. For an absurd moment she thought he was going to kiss her.

She wondered if that would have broken her.

"Emily," His voice was soft, calming even. It chilled her to the bone. "I'm talking not as your boss, not as your Unit Chief, but as your colleague. Friend, even."

"Hotch, I swear to you-"

"Hear me out, Emily." She was beginning to get unnerved by his use of her first name. "You can trust me. I know, it really doesn't seem like it. Hell, I've probably been nicer to Strauss than you in the long run."

"Hotch..."

"No, it's true. The nicest thing I've probably done is letting you onto the team and I was hardly welcoming about that. And for all that, I apologize. So, despite my exterior, you can trust me with whatever she told you. As in, if she may or may not have mentioned anything besides you and Elle."

Emily could hardly look Hotch in the eye. Murmuring a soft, _'No, there's nothing else, please excuse me, lot's of paperwork.'_ she left, Hotch's eyes tracking her every movement, stowing it away for future analyzing.

"You ok? Want to grab a quick drink or something?" Emily's eyes could barely meet Derek's either as she brushed past him with a soft apology and some excuse she couldn't even remember. His face fell as he watched her leave, turning to the other members of the team who were arranged around the bullpen. All except for Gideon and Hotch.

Derek glanced up and his eyes landed on Hotch, through his office window. Hotch was standing, still as a statue, his eyes still trained on Emily as she pushed out through the glass doors. Finally, Hotch's gaze dropped to Derek, who met his Unit Chief's eyes with his own, the two men having an entire conversation with just their looks.

_What's wrong with her?_

_ I don't know._

_ You're the Unit Chief, you've probably been profiling since I was in grade school. How can you not know?_

_ I just don't._

Derek closed his eyes and turned, facing the glass doors as JJ, Garcia and Reid came over, urging him to go with them to grab a much needed drink. He glanced back up to Hotch's office, but the silhouette of the man who had been standing in the window was gone, replaced by the workaholic Aaron Hotchner.

The man was a shapeshifter, always shifting away from emotion. Derek wondered if Emily could be the one to break him.

_**Aha, I just finished watching this episode. Some episodes just break me and I've only watched them once or twice. Honestly, re-watching 100 is going to break me. BUT I DO IT FOR YOU GUYS. Hope you enjoy this latest one, it picks up literally right after the episode ends. I feel like this one drifts in and out of character, with Hotch at least. But the man's so damn emotionless that I enjoy toying with his persona. I'm trying to keep to character, so warn me if I stray too far!**_

_**Also: I have a ton of songs lined up for these fics, but if you'd like to rec me some, I'd love to get some inspiration!**_

_**Song: Never Go Solo – Islands**_


	9. This Broken-Hearted Attitude

Episode: In Name and Blood

_**Finally onto this episode! Ugh, this is one of the most hotly-centric episodes ever and I'm so excited to write it, I wanted to make it a songfic. So this chapter's going to be written with the song **__**Milwaukee by Stephen Kellogg**__** in mind. Hope you like it!**_

_Moonlight, highway.__  
__Quicksand trying to pull us off the road__  
__But you don't succeed by giving up__  
__That's one thing I know,_

She didn't knock. He liked that.

"Sorry to interrupt. Sir, I've decided to resign from the FBI, effective immediately."

Their eyes met, a moment of shock passing through Hotch, causing his blood to run cold.

"I don't understand." He was playing dumb. Pretending he couldn't hear the words that were practically being flung at him. He wasn't good at playing dumb.

_And I'm sorry you got sick__  
__And that I wasn't there__  
__And if I acted like a dick__  
__It didn't mean I didn't care,_

"I'm taking the foreign service exam." Her eyes dropped from his and he knew it was disassociation. She was trying to cut herself off from him. "With my connections, uh, I stand a good chance of landing in the state department."

Hotch wondered if that was a reference to their conversation from the case with the Russian mobsters. He liked to think so.

_And the way you treat your mother is up to you__  
__but it can't feel all that good to be so angry__  
__I guess I learned that too,_

"Prentiss I think that's a mistake." His eyes never wavered from their spot on hers. He watched as she looked away, avoiding eye contact with him and Strauss. The thought of her avoiding his gaze hurt him, but her ignoring Strauss made him positively gleeful.

He hid it well.

"Well don't try to talk me out of it." A hint of a smile, a tip of the head. "Garcia saw my name on the list and she already tried."

List? What list? How long had this _list _been up? A small laugh, her curls moving in time with her face.

"If she can't talk someone out of something, no one can."

For a moment, their gazes locked again. Just a moment. He wanted to try and read her, to profile her and why she was doing this.

Why she was breaking him.

"Sorry for the interruption."

Pauses, a few steps, a turn of her body as she opened her mouth to say one last screw you to Strauss. Emily Prentiss, always the rebel.

"But sir... it's good to see you back. The team needs you. Ma'am."

And she was gone, leaving Hotch to deal with Strauss, to figure out his emotions, to pick up the hundreds of pieces that Emily Prentiss would leave behind in her wake.

OoOoOoOoOoO

_Jessica is afraid she won't find love__  
__she says that she's never home__  
__and just last night I swear I heard her say__  
__"What if I die alone?"_

Hotch couldn't do it. He couldn't live like this.

It took him all of 30 seconds to turn the car around, driving as fast as he could towards the one place that he knew he would end up at. Before he had even entered the building he felt better. Before he was halfway up the stairs he could see her face.

And then he knocked on her door.

"Can I come in?" It was just that. Nothing more. There was no underlying desire, no matter how small, no pleading and hope. He was just a boss making sure to get the job done.

Hotch didn't believe it for a second.

"The team needs us. They're working a case in Milwaukee. Gideon hasn't shown up and don't tell me you've quit or I put in for a transfer."

Hotch was struck by her comfortableness in her home. She was never like that in the BAU (or maybe it was just around him...?) and she certainly never wore anything like what she was wearing to work. A momentary pang of disappointment rang through him as Emily's eyebrow cocked and she replied, surprised by his news,

"You put in for a transfer?"

"They're both still hung up in the system so, technically we're in dereliction of duty by not being there."

"I'm sorry, I can't go." Emily shook her head to avoid making eye contact with him. It amazed her that he was here. That he had driven all the way her to her house just to get her to come with him on one last case. It was too good to be true.

"Right, sorry I barged in."

"Wait, wait. Can I ask wh- why are you really here?" He sure as hell wasn't just here to say hi.

"I told you." Hands in pockets, avoiding eye contact while he spoke, moving away from her. Not the signs of someone who was being totally honest.

Hotch had moved behind a counter, unable to prevent himself from profiling the room. Not one thing was out of place, in her kitchen or living room. Her appearance was much the same, despite the fact she hadn't even been expecting company.

"I think Strauss came to you and asked for dirt on me."

And there it was. Had he known it all along? Probably. Emily realised too late that she had assumed an aggressive pose.

"Why would she do that?" The venom in her voice, unmistakable. It stung Hotch practically into submission, but he did not back down.

"I think if you have your eyes on top leadership at the FBI," He raised his gaze slightly so he was staring at her, their eyes locked again, but this time the looks were defensive, both sides afraid about revealing their hand. "You wanna know who might stand in your way."

"Aaaand, what could I have told her?" She stepped forward, egging Hotch on, trying to get him to fall, or at least trip up slightly.

"That one of my agents might've murdered a suspect in cold blood. Or another might have a serious drug problem which I didn't report, and if Strauss had any evidence, my career would be over."

Emily's face dropped from his gaze, as she realised he was telling her that he hadn't failed to notice the fact that she had chosen him above her job. The job she had waited ten years for.

"I think she put you on our team and expected something in return. And to your credit, you quit," She turned back to face him, listening intently. "Rather than whisper in her ear."

"I told you," Emily's face was still, her lips in a fine line that showed no emotion other than what she wanted to show. "I hate politics."

"Come to Milwaukee," It was a plea, not an order. Still, Emily couldn't do it. "I'll make you a deal. If your ready bag isn't here, packed, I won't bug you anymore. If it is I want you on that plane with me. One more case."

She pressed her lips together, ignoring the thrill that went through her when he said, '_I want you on that plane with me.'_, instead grasping at straws.

"I already turned in my badge and my gun."

"That's just hardware."

So she looked to her closet, where her ready bag had stayed. She had meant to unpack it, but couldn't. Couldn't deal with that part of her life being over so soon. Hell, she could hardly deal with the idea of leaving the BAU for the state department, of all places.

"Give me 5 minutes."

_And this broken-hearted attitude__  
__you know it fits right in__  
__to this movie about all of us__  
__that's waiting to begin_

The plane ride was long, but that may have just been the company. The jet, obviously preoccupied, was not their mode of transportation for the moment. Instead, they were forced to fly commercial, Hotch flashing his credentials at the flight director who promptly set up a flight leaving for Milwaukee in less than an hour. The flight was 2 hours, one of which was spent looking over the case file and formulating ideas.

The other hour was spent silently, with Emily staring out the window and Hotch staring at Emily. His mind was focused on Hayley, though. Hayley and the fact that everything about her, almost every little detail, was different from Emily.

Maybe it was the anger talking, or maybe it was how he had changed since the woman had came into his life, but at that moment, if he had been forced to choose who he preferred between Emily and Hayley, he would have chosen Emily.

At least she stuck by him.

_And I've been chasing dreams in magazines the last ten years__  
__and the way you treat your lover's is up to you__  
__but it can't feel all that good to be so jealous__  
__I guess I learned that too__  
_

"So you looked pretty perky after that plane ride." JJ had gone with Emily early that morning on a coffee run, afraid that if they went too long they'd begin to lose focus.

"I don't know what you mean, Jayje." Emily replied coolly as she balanced the various paper cups in the tray.

"Come on, out with it. What happened on your little jaunt? Little birdy told me you weren't originally planning to come along. What convinced you?"

"JJ, I was in dereliction of duty by not being here. My loyalty to this job brought me here."

"You know, I don't think H-O-T-C-H is pronounced 'Loyalty to this job'."

Emily rolled her eyes at that, but pressed on. "JJ, he's married. For God's sake, MARRIED. _With a KID."_

JJ shook her head as they entered the car, balancing the coffee cups on Emily's lap.

"You can try and hide it, Agent Prentiss, but eventually you'll slip. And when you do... I'll be waiting to tell you that I called it first."

___It will change in time__  
__we'll feel more alive__  
__cause protection's like a wheel_

They were more in sync for this case, constantly knowing what to say and how to build on the other's words. It was like they were united, fighting back against the wrath of Erin Strauss.

Emily couldn't help but find it a little bit funny that Hotch and Strauss had the same name. She was glad he had made her come with him. She was glad to be part of the team. To be one of a whole. It was like seeing your family after being away for the first time.

But at the back of both their minds was the realisation that while they were here, now, working as one, soon they'd be back home, alone and away from the BAU.

___And the way you sometimes feel_

_Can make you think that you might even be__  
__the worst person you'll ever meet_

"Lemme go in alone."

Hotch turned. Was she serious? Was she really going to risk her life for this case?

"The boy's in the family room, he'll answer the door."

"No." Emily turned quickly, facing her ex-Section Chief.

"We need to get invited in that door. He's looking for female authority figures. If he lets me in, I can signal as soon as I see anything that gives us cause."

"Technically you're not even in the FBI."

_Strauss is like that little cousin you have who always complains about everything_, Emily thought to herself, bitterly as she faced the woman who had put her through so much hell.

"All the better." Hotch's voice came from behind her and Emily had to hide a smile, moving towards the house to scan it and plan her move.

"She's interfering with a federal investigation."

"Well, if I'm no longer in the FBI then you have no authority over me. I'm just a civilian knocking on a little boys' door." Emily was sick of this woman, of her commanding attitude and just her in general.

"Prentiss." Derek handed her his gun, which she slid into her belt as Hotch handed her a signalling device.

"As soon as you have probable cause, give us the signal and _get out of there._" Emily looked up at Hotch, realising that she had lost track of the amount of eye contact they'd had that day. She was feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sudden protectiveness that surrounded her coming from both Derek and Hotch. It was as if they were trying to shield her from both Strauss and the UNSUB.

"Ok." She whispered, her voice barely a breath. As she turned to enter the house, she could feel his eyes on her and as much as Emily prided herself in being an independent woman, she prayed he'd get her out in the end.

___But it's alright__  
__Cause we've got each other__  
__We got each other__  
__We got each other_

Panic raced through Hotch as he burst into the room, seeing Emily on the ground, her head bleeding. What the HELL was going on? Why did he kid have her gun? How had they not gotten there sooner?

"Drop the weapon, son."

He hadn't meant to say son, but it was true. The kid looked like Jack. A pained sigh came from Emily and all thoughts about Jack were erased from his mind.

"Give me the gun."

"Prentiss." Another groan as Emily was pulled back into safety behind Derek.

"It's ok. Do what they say." Hotch pulled the gun from David's hand, lifting the boy into his arms, his mind battling between thinking of Jack and worrying for Emily. It almost physically hurt him to wait outside for the rest of his team to come out, blinking in the harsh sunlight.

After a while he made his way to the ambulance, where Emily sat, an EMT dabbing at her forehead.

"How's your head?" He tried not to sound panicky. He tried to remain the unbiased Unit Chief, despite the fact that he didn't even work for the BAU anymore.

"I'll live." Emily replied, wincing.

_Damn right, you better._

"Is it weird I'm glad to be back?"

"I'll make sure it stays official." And he meant it too. Even if it meant losing his own job, he wanted Emily to succeed.

Maybe she'd be Unit Chief herself.

As Strauss came over, he prepared himself for an ordeal, glancing at Emily as a way to make himself remember why he was doing this.

"How's she doing?"

"She's going to be ok." He hoped she couldn't hear the tenderness in his voice.

"You know I can't officially approve of how this transpired."

"The arrest was clean. It ...would be a mistake to break up this team."

"None of you will ever move up the chain of command, you know that."

"Why would I ever want to leave the BAU?"

Emily's head shot up at that, an action that sent a shooting pain through her. Wincing, she listened to the conversation between Derek and Hotch, her heart fracturing as she heard Hotch utter, _'I don't know, I gotta talk to Hayley.'_

It was stupid, of course. Having any semblance of feelings for a married man. Happily married? Not exactly. But she had heard through the grapevine that things had gotten better during his suspension.

A lot of things had changed during his suspension, though.

___And I've been chasing dreams in magazines the last ten years__  
__And the way you treat each other is up to you__  
__But it can't feel all that good to be so scared__  
__I guess I learned that too__  
__I guess I learned that_

A knock on the door. The light switch clicks and Emily yawns as she goes to the door, opening it and stopping when she sees the man on the other side.

"Hotch. What are you doing here?" She was surprised, of course. But happy. The happiness faded quickly as she noticed the gaunt look on his face, his hair mussed like he had pulled at it in stress.

"Can... I come in?"

"Of course. Make yourself at home, I was just going to watch TV, want something to drink?"

"Sure." Hotch's voice was soft, monotone as he practically stumbled forward, sitting upon Emily's couch with a sigh that broke Emily's heart. She poured some wine quickly, ignoring the romantic implications that red wine brought. Especially late at night.

She said nothing, just handed him the glass and flicked on the TV, seeing some old episode of Friends that was on. Some episode where Chandler was in love with Joey's girlfriend. Emily didn't change the channel, just pretended to watch as her mind raced.

Why was he here? At her house, of all places? Had he had a fight with Hayley? Had something bad happened to her? Where was Jack? Emily's heart pounded as she watched the show, wondering if maybe things hadn't gotten better between them. Maybe the trial separation hadn't been so temporary after all.

Hotch sipped his wine, the second drink of the evening. He had gotten home, realised what had happened, had a tumbler of scotch, wished he could get rip-roaring drunk, and then driven over here. Why? Why here of all places? He had other friends. Friends who'd understand and would be infinitely less awkward if he showed up on their doorsteps. But he hadn't gone to them. Somehow, he had found himself here.

Even stranger was that he didn't even feel out of place. Sipping his wine again, he tried to focus on the screen. He had watched Friends a bit when he was younger, but had never been particularly fond of it. This episode, though, had a different appeal to it.

The love interest looked like Emily.

Hotch sighed as he watched Chandler rant and rave about his feelings for Joey's girlfriend, wondering how his life had gotten so messed up. It was then that he finally snapped out of his reverie for long enough to realise that Emily was watching him. He cleared his throat and uttered out the words that she was waiting for.

"Hayley left. She... took Jack. I don't know if she's coming back."

He could feel her arm creeping up his arm, running over his shoulder. She murmured an apology, then pulled her hand away, leaving Hotch to wonder again why he was here.

"I should have seen it coming. I- It's just a matter of time before..."

He couldn't say it. The big 'D' word that meant he had chosen work over family.

"Hotch." Emily's voice was sharp and he immediately looked over to her, seeing the seriousness in her eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong. Hayley just doesn't understand the job. It's not your fault and it's not hers either. It's just a shitty situation. But you aren't to blame."

Hotch could feel her hand running up his arm again and for a moment, he just wanted to forget everything. So he took a leap.

Before either of them knew what was happening, his lips met hers. It was gentle, soft. She was surprised, and was about to pull away at first, when she felt his hand sliding into her hair, pulling her closer to him. Suddenly, she stopped caring as well. She leaned into it, running her hand up his arm again and smiling against his lips as she heard him sigh, softly. A fire sparked in her belly, filling her with a kind of deep warmth that she had never felt before. Hotch, on the other hand, felt a cold feeling running down him, as if someone had woke him up from a long dream only to be thrust into a harsh reality. Harsh, but wonderful. Neither of them had any intention of deepening the kiss, but neither wanted to break it.

So they didn't, kissing for however long on Emily's couch as the flickering late night TV showed Chandler doing the same with Kathy.

___Why am I so angry (I guess I learned that)__  
__Why am I so sad (I guess I learned that)__  
__Why am I so contagious (I guess I learned that)__  
__Why is it so good to feel bad__  
__I guess I learned that too__  
__(Just want to feel)__  
__I guess I learned that too_

_**Wow, so it's currently late at night and I just finished this. I bet none of you expected that to happen, mostly because I didn't even expect it either. But with all the tension I was writing in, this kind of felt like a natural progression. Unfortunately, though, they won't be starting anything up until season 7. Sorry, guys. Hopefully this'll tide you over for a while longer! And who knows, maybe I'll add a little bit more in here and there. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for the support and I really hope you enjoy this THREE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED WORD CHAPTER. Oh god. I can't even begin to believe I did that. **_

_**Well, rate, review and follow and enjoy :D!**_


	10. The Girl Won't Stay

_They broke apart, staring into each other's eyes, trying to find a reason for why they had done what they had done. His eyes trailed down to her lips, slightly swollen from the kiss. _

_ "Emily, I... I just..."_

_ "Hotch, I understand. Your life's screwed up right now. It's gonna be hard and you can't do this right now." Emily leaned back slightly, her arms falling from their place around his neck. Hotch opened his mouth to respond, but Emily cut him off._

_ "I'll wait for you,"_

_ He jerked back for a moment, surprised etched across his face._

_ "I know it'll be a while and it's crazy, but you need time and I want to give you that." Emily could feel Hotch's own hand slip from her hair, running down the length of her arm until it fell to his side._

_ "But why? Why would you do that? Wait for me?" His voice was soft, a plea for answers that nobody seemed to be able to give._

_ "Because," The corners of her mouth tipped up and her head fell to a slight slant. "You're worth waiting for."_

_ He had left after that, with a nod and a soft murmur of a farewell. Both of them wanted him to stay, but it was a bad idea. What would have happened had he stayed? The question would haunt both of them for weeks, months, years. Always there, always questioning._

_ They kissed once more, at the door when Emily opened it and Hotch stepped out into the harsh hallways lights. It was dark in her apartment, nobody had bothered to turn the lights on. _

_ "I mean it, you know." She had looked up at him as he had turned to leave. He blinked in the doorway, staring into her darkened eyes, unsure of what emotions flickered in their murky depths._

_ "I know." He had whispered, unable to prevent himself from swooping down once more, lips meeting hers in an act that felt so normal that it hurt to pull away. But then he was gone, striding down the hallway, thumb and forefinger gripping the bridge of his nose as his hunched back disappeared down a turn in the hall._

_ Emily turned around herself, closing the door behind her and not bothering to flick the lights on. She cast a swift glance at the TV, where Friends had been replaced with a cheerful infomercial displaying a man grinning ear to ear, arm around his equally happy wife. Emily flipped it off quickly, closing her eyes and coming to terms with everything that had happened. _

_ In his car in the lot below, Hotch was doing the same thing._

OoOoOoOoOoO

Episode: Children of the Dark

He had tried not to pair himself with her. Really, he had. And he'd succeeded with the last case, but only because his thoughts had been focused on Gideon and Hayley. Then the family annihilator case had come up and all he'd been able to hear was Derek's voice saying, _'We're doing just fine without Gideon.'_ Truthfully, Gideon's departure stung. But he was gone, like Elle before him. Hayley had told him she wasn't coming back and she seemed sure, so all that was left for him to contemplate was Emily.

And contemplate he did. He didn't just sit across from her for no reason. He didn't just pair himself with her on a whim. No, Aaron Hotchner thought everything, _everything _out.

He had done a good job on not staring at her though, choosing instead to cast small glances in her direction whenever she wasn't looking. Case in point, after she had said, _'And then found their true calling.'_ But she had noticed, so he had hastily paired everyone up, unconsciously leaving her without a partner, therefore pairing her with himself. She had raised her eyebrows about a foot when he had finished awkwardly by adding a hasty,

"... And Prentiss, you'll check out the crime scene with ... me."

But she hadn't disagreed, which he had been pleased about.

Their back and forth at the scene had been easy, but he noticed how she didn't move around the house, following him around. He sat down, glancing up and noting how she didn't move from her spot beside the detective. Noting his height and build, Hotch felt momentarily threatened, jealous of the man who she seemed to feel safe around. The alpha male in him wanted to scare the guy, frighten him off. But the Unit Chief prevailed, turning away from the man and murmuring out a reply to Emily's profile.

He watched her during the giving of the profile, hid his smile as they bounced the profile off one another, interrupted only when JJ came in, alerting them to a second attack.

There was one alive, three dead. He knew it was a bad day when he considered that good.

"Hey, are we going to the crime scene?" Emily stopped him as the team rushed out of the station, off to do their respective jobs.

"No, I'm taking Morgan. I assigned you and JJ to look after Carrie." He looked up, into her eyes, seeing a hurt look flit across her face.

"Mother figure. Right. We'll meet up with you guys after, alright?"

"Of course."

OoOoOoOoOo

The bedroom reminded him of Jack. He had been only seven years old.

They met up after the sweeping of the crime scene, just like he had promised. He felt closer to her, not missing her entering the room and immediately walking to his side. He had felt surprised, but tender when she had winced as he had suggested using Carrie to bait the UNSUB.

"Not comfortable with that?" He was afraid of the lines blurring between work and personal.

"Ok but... I would be more comfortable if we doubled her security."

"Of course," He glanced over at the detective, who immediately dipped his head.

"I'll get my guys on it right away."

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Well, then, I guess it's up to her."

"She up for it?"

"I don't know."

Hotch watched Emily as she moved towards the girl, immediately ushering her in, standing at her side as she explained what she had to do and why. He was struck by a sudden realisation of what a great mother she'd be. Caring, nurturing, she'd be there for the child whenever they needed it. As Carrie moved closer to him, he was struck by a sudden vision of Emily dating, marrying, getting pregnant, leaving the BAU to have a family and settle down. Would she? Would she choose a family over her career?

Would she choose someone else over him?

He tried to fight these dark thoughts as they went to the pound, then to the foster parents' house. They saw the signs, the pictures on the mantle of children. Countless children. Not one of them with a real, true smile on their face. The smiles were as fake as the home was. Happy on the outside, living hell on the inside.

They had gotten Irvin and set him up in the Interrogation room when Hotch had pulled Emily to the side.

"Come in with me."

"What? But you can handle this by yourself." She frowned up at him and he glanced through the window at the man.

"Yes, but you may be able to help break him. It's a longshot, but we may be able to use you as a Lucy surrogate."

"So we won't use Carrie?" Emily glanced through the one-sided mirror at their own little angel of mercy.

"Not if we can help it. Come on, he's been in there half an hour already."

They entered the room staggered, Hotch going in first, Emily second. Emily sat down across from Irvin, while Hotch stood to the side, practically breathing down the man's neck.

"Hi, Irvin, I'm Emily," She stressed the last syllable, the one that was similar to Lucy. Irvin didn't look up. "All we want is to know where your brother is. Can you tell us that?"

He continued to look at the floor, away from the two agents. Hotch pressed his lips together, constantly edging slightly closer to the man, intimidating, but not outright terrorizing him.

"Please, Irvin? We need to stop him before he hurts more people. You do this so innocent kids won't have to go through what you did, but they don' have to if you tell us where your brother is."

"Irvin, do it for Lucy. She'd want you to do the right thing." Hotch watched the man's reaction, but all he did was dip his head lower, saying nothing. It was then that Derek walked in, shooing Hotch and Emily out. As soon as they were out and the door was shut, Emily moved over beside Hotch, biting her lip.

"Sorry I didn't help. I don't think I'm the one who can break him."

"It was worth a shot. We'll try and get Morgan to coax him out of his shell, but it probably won't work. I'll get JJ to make sure Carrie's up and ok with doing this."

"Hotch-" Emily opened her mouth to fight back. She didn't want to force Carrie to go through the ordeal of having to face her family's killer. It was then that she realised how she'd grown fond of the girl, felt such a deep pity that it resonated through her. She closed her mouth as the Detective came in and Hotch turned to call JJ.

OoOoOoOoOoO

It wasn't awkward. That was the awkward part.

Emily watched his hands, moving as they shuffled papers and pictures around. That ring flashing under the fluorescent lights. She paused to look him over as she began to talk.

"I could take her."

He glanced up, confused for a moment. He stopped shuffling, the ring stopped flashing. He watched her for a second before he began to continue the shuffling, and Emily was reminded of a dance. A slow dance between them as the clock ticked down on whatever their fates decided was going to happen next.

"Carrie. To DC."

"You mean to live with you?"

"Yeah." She could be a good mother. Emily wanted to prove that she was more than just her job.

"Why would you want to do that?" His voice was soft, questioning.

"I have room, money. And ... you know, she's smart. Two, three years she goes to college!"

"Prentiss." His voice was a plea again, like it had been that night. Emily looked up, always on high alert for that voice. Instead she found his face, hardened and unlike it had been. "This is the job and I need to know you can be objective."

He wasn't just talking about Carrie. They could both feel it, but neither said anything. Instead, Emily held the eye contact, responding in a matching tone,

"And I need to know that I can be human."

"JJ heard from the family and they're on their way from LA."

"Oh."

Her face fell as he tipped his head slightly, eyebrows crinkling in worry for the woman before him. This job was a job for her. This job was a life for him.

"That's ... that's great. "

"Emily..."

"I'm gonna give these files to the detective. See you on the plane, Hotch."

And then she left the room, Hotch turning, his eyes following her, suddenly realising how it felt for her to watch him walk away.

_**Wow, two thousand words this one. I'm still kind of in awe that I'm doing these so quickly, but I can't just watch an episode anymore, I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT ALL THE LITTLE GLANCES. I'm kind of sad about the lack of reviews, but it's ok because you'll review lots, right? (hint hint). **_

_**Also, I feel kind of stupid doing this because I don't really feel like this story's close to any of the other amazing ones on this site, but it's worth a shot so...**_

**Nominations for the Criminal Minds Profilers Choice Awards is almost over! Ballots are due by October 15thand your favorite stories and authors need 4 nominations to make it to the final voting ballot. **

**Go here for rules and details (remove spaces****): ****fanfiction**** topic / 74868 / 69379386 / 1**


	11. Heartbeat

Episode: Birthright

"Go."

Rossi glanced at Emily, who, up until then, had been staring at the door, wondering how much longer she had to stay to be polite.

"No, I still have 23 minutes remaining to enjoy my time with all of you," Emily replied cautiously, glancing at her watch.

"Emily, just leave. Go to him. He needs someone right now and I don't mean me," Emily's eyes wavered from the door to look over at Rossi, who nodded, trying to urge the younger woman to leave.

"Alright," Emily relented. "But you give the team a reason, I can't think of one right now."

Rossi chuckled, dipping his head quickly in agreement as Emily pulled her stuff together, leaving with a quick goodbye to the team, all of whom called out quick, puzzled goodbyes, their gazes falling on Rossi.

"You all know where she's going," Rossi spoke softly. The others glanced away, biting their lips and ducking their heads. All of them had wanted to comfort Hotch, but none of them had. Maybe it really was best that Emily did.

OoOoOoOoO

She drove quickly, road rules barely remembered, traffic lights going unnoticed. As she pulled up in front of Hotch's house, she stopped, parking the car and pausing for a moment to reflect on why she was there. Yes, she had feelings for him. Yes, those feelings were more than friendship. Was she here to comfort him? To break through to him and show him why he should choose her over Hayley? No.

Pushing these thoughts aside, Emily took a deep breath, exiting her car and walking over the grass on the front lawn, up to the door and then stopping. The lights were out, the street silent. Instinctively, her hand touched her gun, which perched on her hip. After a moment of consideration, Emily reached forward and pressed the doorbell, hearing a chime echoing eerily through the house.

She had never been good with haunted houses, and this one was full of old, dead memories.

The sound of footsteps overlapped the doorbell and then an angry growl as Hotch swung open the door.

"WHAT DO YOU- Oh... Emily," He paused in the doorway and Emily bit her lip. She had practically flinched when Hotch had yelled and had almost turned and ran. But the FBI agent in her would _not _back down.

"I came by to... see how you were doing,"

"Fine," Hotch replied flatly. "I'm great."

"Well you're obviously in need to get drunk, so why not come out with us?" Emily raised her eyebrow in question, leaving Hotch to shake his head and turn to walk into the house. Emily paused, and then followed him in.

"I can't... face the team right now."

"Hotch we're all here for you," Emily watched for a moment as he collapsed on a couch, his head in his hands. She sat down beside him, skimming her hand over his back.

It was dark in the house, eerie as it had seemed earlier. Emily noticed an empty tumbler of scotch on the table. He was breaking her heart without even saying a word.

"Yeah, which is why the whole team is here, cheering me on as I get back up and dust myself off. Face it, Emily; the only ones on the team I'm even remotely close to are you and Rossi."

"Because you don't let them in."

"Because I'm afraid that if I do they'll get hurt. Or it'll impair my ability to make tough calls. I'm the Unit Chief, I have to remain unbiased."

"So why am I here?"

The question hung there for a moment, neither of them speaking before Hotch turned to face Emily. "What do you mean?"

"If you're afraid of getting close to the team or being afraid of how it'll affect your abilities then why am I..." Emily pressed her lips together, her hand moving from his back to his shoulder. "Here?"

"Because you pity me."

"Because I'm worried about you."

"What's the difference?"

"Well, one of them I don't feel and one of them I do."

"Emily," Hotch sounded exasperated now, sick and tired of everything. "What do you want me to do? To say? Hey, I'm gonna be fine, I'll just take a day or two off, and then keep going?"

"No, Hotch," Emily whispered, her hand running all over his body now, along the edge of his ear, into his hair, down his neck. "Just tell me what you're thinking."

"What, so you want to know my feelings? You want to know what it's like for the one person you've loved your entire life to take your son away? To humiliate you by delivering you divorce papers at work? Because it feels pretty damn bad, Emily. _Pretty. Damn. Bad._" He had started pacing halfway through, but now he stopped, sitting back down beside Emily, slumped again with his head in his hands.

"Hotch, I really am here for you. You know that, right?" She prayed he'd say yes. At that second, it was all she wanted.

"I know," He breathed. "And I'm grateful, but I just... don't know what I can give you right now. I'm just a broken old man who has nothing." He looked up at her, eyes swimming with grief.

"_Nothing."_

"You have me, Hotch. You have the team and not one of them will think any less highly of you, no matter what you do."

"Emily..."

In answer, she reached up, pulling his head down to rest on her shoulder.

"Hotch, just close your eyes. Rest," She pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around him as she gently tugged his suit jacket off. "I won't leave you, I promise to stay right here."

"But..." She reached down, touching her finger to his lips as he closed his eyes. She could feel a single tear touch her shoulder as Hotch slowly drifted into sleep.

Emily closed her own eyes, listening to a slow _tick-tick-tick_ of a clock somewhere in the house. She didn't feel scared. She felt... determined. Emily glanced down at the man who was resting against her now, wondering how long it would take for him to be ok again.

Wondering when he'd ever catch a break.

OoOoOoOoO

Sunlight filtered through the curtains as Emily awoke, lying on the couch. She frowned thoughtfully as she surveyed how she was sleeping. She was lying down, fully clothed (although her shoes appeared to have come off, which she was glad of), with Hotch lying on his side beside her, arm wrapped fiercely around her, their legs tangled together.

At first, Emily panicked. She tried to wriggle out of Hotch's grip, only to feel it tighten slightly, his voice soft with sleepiness.

"Shh, go back to sleep, it's early."

Emily paused. Was he dreaming? Was he thinking of Hayley?

"Hotch, I-"

"Emily, sleep," Hotch murmured. "It's alright."

She paused a moment, but relented, adjusting herself so she was comfortable on her side, listening to Hotch's sighs as she pressed slightly closer to him. She listened quietly to his heartbeat, to his breathing, to him. Her arms were around his waist and she didn't hide the fact that her hands were skimming the skin under his now-untucked dress shirt. Emily smiled at the loose tie around his neck. She'd never tell him, but sleepy-morning-Hotch was _damn _good looking.

There were no sudden epiphanies that morning. No declarations of love for the other. Just one friend comforting the other. Neither of them wanted to think about the fact that it couldn't happen, though. That _this _wouldn't happen. Not now.

Not yet.

_I put my hand on your heartbeat, like I've been there before__  
__It doesn't matter what my sense says__  
__Cause I've been there before_

_**Song: Been There Before – Ghost Beach**_


	12. Never Gonna Get Any Better Than This

Episode: 3rd Life

Hotch stared down at the lifeless body below him, the officer's words blurring together into a hum. He could hardly concentrate on what he was saying, struck by the girl who lay below him, mutilated and dead.

He had never been affected too badly by any case. It almost physically hurt him to see this girl lying on the ground like that, body parts jutting out at odd angles, her body a mess of blood. He looked away, wishing that he was going with JJ and Derek to warn the parents. But he wasn't. Instead, he was here. Here to take a deeper look into another perverse mind.

"Face and hands have been obliterated."

Emily and Reid moved in closer, while he stood there, paralyzed. Rossi stood beside him, analyzing the girl's body.

Again, the words that he should have been paying attention to blurred and he found himself tossing out the odd phrase as he tried to keep up while simultaneously trying to hold it together.

"But why destroy her hands and face?"

"It indicates she knew the attacker."

"By destroying her ID they're hoping to delay you making a connection between the victim and the UNSUB."

"Gives them time to get away," Hotch knew, as soon as he'd said that, as soon as Emily had turned and looked him right in the eye (or at least, tried to. He avoided her gaze, choosing to rest his eyes just slightly beyond the girl's body) that she knew he was struggling. Hotch didn't react, didn't stray to the panic he wanted to display. Instead, he made a mental note to pair himself with Emily later.

It was only when he was driving to the station, Emily at his side and Derek having a discussion with Reid in the backseat, that it struck him as strange that he had turned to Emily before Rossi.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Prentiss, you and I'll go to where the girls were last seen."

He turned, walking towards the door, Emily moving alongside him at an even pace. As they drove to the scene, it was quiet, the radio soft, playing some sappy song about love. It sickened Hotch and all he wanted to do was turn it off. His irritation must have shown, because Emily leaned forward quietly, flipping the dial off so they rode in silence for a few minutes longer.

As they pulled into the parking lot and stepped out, Emily proceeded to lead the conversation, nervous about how Hotch was acting.

"Two girls missing, one dead and life goes on as if nothing's happened."

"Holiday weekend, what do you expect?"

"The sense that something's changed," She almost winced at her own words, they were so dark.

"Do we know what movie they saw?" His voice was calm, soft. It was freaking Emily out.

"Whatever it was, they left halfway through to have a cigarette."

They both glanced over in the direction of the two girls, also smoking, outside the theatre.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

"Boys."

"Think their parents know they smoke?"

"Mine didn't. And if they saw me dressed like that-!"

A smile ghosted over Hotch's face and Emily didn't miss it. Nor did she miss the soft undertone in his words. The worried glances in their direction. Daddy Hotch had come out to play.

"Two teenage parents, free of parents, breaking the rules are dressed like that for a reason."

"Here comes the reason."

A pregnant pause. An adjustment in where the two agents were standing, to get a better view.

"They obviously don't know them."

"But they want to."

"You think they'll go with them?"

"Since news of Katie's death? No," He paused to watch them walk away, relief flooding through him for a second. "See?"

"So, brightly lit, no alleys, wide open holiday weekend."

"If I were to abduct two girls without being seen..."

"...Unless they knew whoever took them."

The thought froze Hotch and all he could do was nod. Sadness was evident in the lines that ran across his face, and he looked away from Emily, who was studying him curiously now.

"You ok?" He glanced down at her, choosing not to answer the question. Instead, he walked away, entering the car and turning it on. Emily hurried after him, sliding into the passenger seat , shaking the cold out of her.

"Hotch, are you ok?" She pronounced each word slowly, scanning his face for any sign that he wasn't.

"When I first heard Hayley was pregnant I wanted a girl. Don't get me wrong, I love my son. I love him so much, and not one day have I regretted that I have him. But still, the feeling was always there, at the back of my mind." Hotch breathed slowly, turning and looking at Emily. "But this job... Everything that's happened... I feel sick to think about these girls and the fact that they could have been mine. I'm sure if I ever asked Reid for statistics, he'd tell me that more crimes are against women than men. So when I see a girl like Katie and when I see what they've done to her..."

Hotch stopped, realising that in the last minute he'd told Emily one of the most personal things about him and didn't even find it weird.

"You wonder about your choices." Emily finished for him. "You wonder how life would be different with a girl. You feel a need to protect them. You beat yourself up whenever one dies. You can't get to sleep at night thinking about the missing child cases."

"Am I crazy to think like that? To want something I've never had? To worry about something I'll never have?" His head dropped down to his hands which were sitting in his lap.

"No, Hotch, you're human. And you never know, maybe one day you will have a girl." His head flew up, eyes locking with Emily's. For a moment, neither spoke, until Emily smiled wryly, adding,

"And you can tell her not to smoke or talk to boys or leave the house until she's 18."

Hotch gave her a small smile, turning the ignition and feeling the car start beneath him. Emily, fully aware that Hotch was feeling less irritable now, flipped on the radio, listening to the upbeat song that played.

_I'm shipwrecked, flattened under the sea_

_And I'm up above just watching_

_Someday, somewhere, you'll see stars_

_They'll blind you, save you from afar_

_From afar_

_Give a little less, give a little less_

_It's never gonna get any better than this_

_**Note: I accidentally wrote this before Birthright because as I was watching, I somehow missed the ending of Birthright so I didn't get to write my fun angsty Hotly moment when Hotch gets the papers. So that's why he talks about Hayley with Emily. Also because as I was watching this he seemed really sad the entire episode and I had this little headcanon where there's an AU and Hotch has a girl instead of a boy. Because seriously, protective daddy Hotch? IT WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL.**_

_**Song: Give a Little Less – Jasmine Ash**_


	13. Do You Love Me?

Episode: The Angelmaker

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Emily frowned, glancing up from the TV screen. JJ had just gotten her hooked on Netflix and she was enjoying going through the different movies. She was going through a Dharma and Greg marathon when there was a knock on the door.

Walking over, Emily instinctively leaned down, glancing through the peephole and stepping back, opening the door, puzzled.

"Hey, I- uh... he looks like me," Hotch frowned, cutting his own sentence short. Emily glanced back, studying Greg's face thoughtfully.

"Huh, guess you're right. Uh, sorry, you were saying?" She turned back to Hotch, who bit his lip and glanced away for a moment. Emily smiled, stepping back and opening the door wider.

"Just come in, Hotch. Unless you want to stand out there trying to think of an answer."

Emily turned, leaving Hotch in the doorway, making her way into the kitchen. She rifled through her drawers quickly, hearing him step into her apartment, close the door, then slid the lock shut.

Aaron Hotchner, the ever-careful Unit Chief.

"Want some wine?"

"After a seven-hour drive?" Emily glanced up to see Hotch frown slightly. "Got anything stronger?"

Emily laughed, "Sorry, just wine. Make yourself comfortable, by the way. And watch whatever you want, I've been watching that show for like 2 hours now."

"The similarities are uncanny," Hotch replied, sliding his coat off and hanging it up. He settled down on the couch, noting how it was firm. Hardly sat on. Evidently, Emily didn't entertain often.

"Which is why I'm having a marathon of it," Emily replied, sitting down beside Hotch. Seeing his eyebrows raised about a foot, she rolled her eyes. "I kid, of course. It's not that bad a show. Now, what are we watching?"

"Uh, this is going to sound weird but I don't really have a favourite show. I don't exactly have time to watch TV."

"Ah, of course," Emily replied, flipping off Netflix and beginning to browse through channels on TV. She eventually settled on a golf tournament, glancing at Hotch, who appeared relaxed and unfazed by her choice of programming.

They watched in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts.

"So shall I start, or do you want to?"

"Start with what?" Hotch hedged, trying to ignore the elephant in the room.

"Hotch..."

He sighed softly, sipping the wine, then suddenly setting it down, running his hands over his face. "I'm not one for self pity. Everyone knows that. I know that. But sometimes, when I'm feeling really down, I just... I feel like everything happens to me," He murmured.

"Explain?"

"The suspension, the divorce, Gideon leaving, the bombing..." Hotch paused as he took a breath, looking Emily in the eye. "Kate."

"Were you... I mean, did you..."

"No. Not really. We were friends, we worked together and she knew me before I was in the BAU. She just... always brought that part of me back a bit. The part that still smiles and actually laughs."

"You still smile..."

"Around you," Hotch responded easily, oblivious to Emily's heartbeat quickening. "Was that all you wanted to know?"

"How's your ear?"

"I'm trying not to go deaf, but it's proving difficult. I may have to skip our next case."

"I'll warn the others to stay safe so you won't have to play hero and come save us," Emily smiled, sipping from her glass. Hotch only inclined his head slightly.

"There's something else on your mind," Emily nudged his foot lightly and he sighed softly.

"Kate... she looked so much like Hayley. Don't pretend to be surprised, you all saw it. I let it get in the way of my thinking. I just panicked. And now she's dead, Emily. She's dead and I don't know what to think. What if Hayley died? How would I cope?"

"You have the team, Hotch. We're all here for you. Really," She added, seeing his mouth open in protest. "We say we're a family for a reason. You can try and cut us off but we aren't going away. Anything you don't tell us we can profile, so it's really just a lot easier."

Hotch nodded his head wearily, glancing at the screen but feeling his attention slowly drifting to the woman beside him.

"So what did that one suspect talk to you and Rossi about?"

"Who? The one who was trying to copy Chloe?" Emily turned her head towards Hotch, noting that he was trying to steer away from their conversation.

"Yeah, her. Anything important?"

"Uh, not too much. She talked about lies a bit and then she asked me if I'd ever been in love."

"Oh? What did you say?" She heard it in his voice. The softness laced with questioning and maybe, _just maybe,_ a dash of hope.

"I didn't answer."

"Ah."

Nothing more was said, and Hotch drained the last of his wine, and then glanced down at his empty glass with a frown.

"I can't drink and drive."

"Hotch," Emily gave him a slightly pitying smile, taking his glass from him and going to the kitchen. "I think we're at the point where you can crash here for the night."

"Thanks, but the last thing I want to do is intrude."

"Oh yeah, you're really putting a damper on my night of drinking and watching TV," Emily tossed back, sarcastically, leaving the kitchen with two refilled glasses of wine, one of which Hotch took happily.

"Uh, where exactly am I going to sleep?"

"In my bed," Emily tossed back casually. Again, his eyes bugged out and she rolled her eyes at his pale face and tense body. "Calm down, you can sleep here."

He recovered quickly, shooting back with a, "But I was looking forward to option one more."

It was Emily's turn to blush and Hotch just smirked, settling in on the couch and turning his attention back to the golf tournament. A new player was stepping up, looking shockingly familiar with his height, dark hair and –in Emily's opinion- rather nice build.

"Oh for God's sake, even he looks like me!"

_**Ok, so this is kind of a break from the angst, despite the fact Kate died. I know I could have gone more into it, but I didn't really want to write so much angst. Can someone give me an idea for some fluff? The next episode is Minimal Loss, which I'm not looking forward to, despite the large quantities of Hotly. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the references and foreshadowing! Please, please, PLEASE review! **_

_** Song: Do You Love Me - Guster**_


	14. Where Do I Go From Here?

Episode: Minimal Loss

Derek and JJ left to go sit elsewhere as Rossi moved to seat himself across from Hotch. His friend was slouched over, tapping his foot impatiently, hand clasped together in front of his mouth, eyes staring blankly out the window.

"Hotch, they'll be fine."

"They have weapons. The whole sect is armed."

"And Prentiss and Reid have their wits. They know what to do and you have to trust them," Rossi leaned forward, studying Hotch's behaviour.

"Don't start profiling me, Dave," Hotch sighed, exasperatedly.

"Maybe I wouldn't if you'd tell me what you're thinking," He responded slowly. "Hotch, what is this _really _about?"

_Emily could die and all she'd ever think of me is that I go to her for advice. But she means so much more and I'll never get a chance to tell her._

"Hello, earth to Hotch?"

"Sorry, I just... I'm worried about them."

Rossi nodded his head, looking out the window too.

"All the more reason to get them out as soon as possible."

OoOoOoOoO

"Dave," Hotch paused, trying to regain composure. "They've left the choice of hostage negotiators up to me."

"I taught most of the hostage negotiation unit, you wanna recommendation?"

"I'm making you the lead negotiator," He knew it was a longshot, but Hotch had realised on the car ride over that he just flat out wouldn't trust anyone else with Emily and Reid's lives.

"Me?"

"Why go to the students when I have the teacher?"

"Because the teacher is emotionally involved and so is the Agent in Command."

_You have no idea, Dave._

"I agree it's a unique situation but we have two agents who could affect the outcome on the inside."

"True, but I can't be objective, I know them too well!"

"This outcome depends as much on our ability to predict the moves of Prentiss and Reid as Cyrus!" Hotch practically hissed out Cyrus' name. Anyone who was going to keep his agents captive was no friend to him. "That's why you're the best man for the job."

"Assuming that Reid and Prentiss are still in a condition to make moves!" Immediately after speaking, Rossi felt a pang of regret for his words. They were the truth. A harsh truth that he knew hit Hotch deeply when he saw the look on his face. He didn't hide it though, which worried Rossi. If he couldn't assume his usual stoic expression, then what was whirling around in his head? He knew better than anybody that if everyone on the team didn't remain unbiased and calm, they would lose their two friends and possibly more.

"I know how bad this is, which is why I want you doing the talking." It was a plea to help him. Rossi wondered why, after so long, a case was affecting Hotch this badly.

"Alright."

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Now, the three child services workers."

"One of them is dead." Cyrus replied, calmly. "It wasn't us."

Hotch's blood turned to ice and his head dropped down. He flashed to thoughts of Spencer, realising that if he had died, it would have been the second time he'd failed him. And it wasn't like he recovered quickly the first time.

And Emily. What if it was Emily? The thought of her lying, dead, while they couldn't go in there to at least retrieve the body made him want to do something irrational, stupid. He wanted to scream and kick something. But instead, he held his head down, trying to hold his feelings intact and listen to the rest of their conversation.

"I need a name, to inform the family."

"Her name was Nancy Lund."

Hotch blinked back tears, his eyes burning. She was alive. He didn't know in what state and he didn't know if he'd be able to get her back soon, but she was alive.

Maybe everything would be alright.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

_No, no, no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. Why would the news report on them being there? Why would they break their cover? Didn't they know they could kill Reid and Emily?_

Hotch began pacing back and forth as he watched the clip play before him. Off to the side, Derek kicked a small rock, sending it flying towards the building. Rossi and JJ gave each other looks, quickly turning off the video clip.

"Guys... we have an audio." Hotch's head shot up as Rossi pulled a pair of headphones on. Derek and Hotch did so as well, just in time to hear Emily speak.

"Me. It's me."

For a moment, silence. What had happened? What was going on? Hotch heard the rustling noise, praying that it wasn't the gun he knew Cyrus had. Instead, a collection of painful whimpers and moans from Emily. She was being dragged away. Away from Reid and Cyrus' men.

_No, Emily, God, please not Emily._

"I told you not to put me in this position!"

More moans, groans, a harsh slapping sound and a small thud as Emily fell to the ground. It was all Hotch could do not to pull the headphones off and just burst in there. But he knew that if he did that, he'd be signing her death warrant. Guilt rushed through him as he heard a harsh kicking sound and Emily's groan as she fell yet again.

"We gotta go in," There was no maybe about it, he needed to get in there.

"We'd be risking the lives of everyone in there." Hotch yanked the headphones off in frustration, wanting to throw them at Rossi and just burst through those doors to save the only person he had ever felt truly understood him.

"Get up!" Cyrus hissed, punching Emily, who crashed into a mirror, effectively shattering it.

"Leviticus 20:30 tells us 'Blows and wounds cleanse away evil," A grunt from Cyrus and a thud as Emily hit something hard.

Hotch gritted his teeth, feeling every ounce of the pain Emily was. A raspy voice came over the headphones. Her voice. It sounded so defeated, yet strong. So weak and yet so powerful.

_"I can take it."_

"Oh, you can take it?" A slap and then a cry from Emily.

"Wait, wait, listen to what she's saying."

Hotch turned to Rossi, fully intending to scream, _"You asshole, I'm already listening to her get beaten while not being able to do anything and you want me to find hidden meanings?!"_

"I can take it." There was a hitch at the end of her sentence and all Hotch could focus on was the wavering in her words.

"She's antagonizing him!" Derek's voice, too, had a waiver and Hotch knew that this was messing with him as well.

"She's not talking to him," Rossi's voice was calm, soft even.

"She's talking to us, she's telling us not to come in."

Emily. His Emily. He didn't even ponder the thought, just listened closer, wanting for her to say something more. To say a message for him.

"Pride comes before people," More groans of pain and suddenly nothing. Hotch could feel tears pricking at his eyes as he gritted his teeth. Derek tossed his headphones back onto the table as Rossi pulled the headphones off his head as if they'd stung him.

_Emily we'll get to you. If I have to run in there myself and risk my own life, I swear that we will get you out of there._

OoOoOoOoO

Hotch stared at the screen, watching Derek retrieve the small girl. Emily was in there. Emily was probably injured and bleeding and in pain. Hotch gritted his teeth and turned away. She was _right there. _But they couldn't go in. They had to sit in waiting, never straying from their posts.

Hotch couldn't count all the times he'd mentally promised himself that he'd make it up to her somehow. All he wanted, all he needed was to be able to get in there.

But he'd need to wait just a little bit longer.

OoOoOoOoOo

"I know I can't go in there."

"I'm going," Rossi's voice was soft, accepting of his duty. He knew, without saying, that Hotch was entrusting the two agents lives with him. It was a gesture he was a bit surprised by, having seen Hotch's reaction to Emily's attack. Surprised, but touched.

"If something happens to Prentiss or Reid, I..." He trailed off, unable to complete the sentence.

"You're not alone."

_But I am,_ Hotch thought to himself as he stared down at the compound. He knew that Rossi was profiling his every move, but he didn't care. If Emily made it back safe, he'd proclaim his love for her from rooftops.

Love. He was in love with her. God, how could he be so blind? How could he have ignored the signs he himself was giving off? Unconsciously, he touched the finger that used to bear his wedding ring. Now, only a thin, sallow white tan line stayed.

He felt Rossi move away, leaving Hotch to his own devices. His mind whirled, his breaths soft in the night air. It was closing in on 3 and he knew he should be prepping. But he couldn't. Something was preventing him from tearing his gaze away from the compound; something was forcing him to scan each window over and over and over, searching for a face.

And that something was named Emily Prentiss.

"I love you," He whispered, his voice soft and going undetected by the various people around him.

He only wished he could tell her.

OoOoOoOoOoO

He watched her stumble out of the building, bloodied, bruised and beautiful. He watched her stumble towards him. He wanted to reach out and pull her into a hug, but instead he gazed back at her, their eyes stopping on each other's for a fleeting moment before she turned back to the blaze, calling out for her teammates. He could feel the pain of losing her beginning to ebb away and the bittersweet tears building. But he kept it in.

At least, until that night.

They were scheduled to leave later that day, but nobody on the team except for Emily and JJ (because of her pregnancy) could sleep. Emily tried to stay up with the team, sitting on a couch in the lobby with Hotch on one side of her, Derek on the other. They made easy conversation, Emily slowly beginning to fade so far that she stopped speaking, her eyes drooping shut.

"Prentiss, go to sleep," Hotch's voice was soft, tender. Everyone glanced up, surprised at his tone.

"No, I'm fine..." Her voice trailed off into a huge yawn. Rossi smiled and Derek nudged her foot lightly.

"Hey, Princess, go sleep, ok? We'll all be here in the morning but if you try and keep up this lack of sleep thing, you may not be."

Emily rolled her eyes, but stood, swayed, then toppled down suddenly into Hotch's arms.

"Hey," He murmured softly, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth. It disappeared as he stood up, sliding his arm around her waist. Hotch was practically carrying her to the elevators as he mumbled out a quick goodnight to the rest of the team, his attention diverting back to Emily almost as fast.

The elevator ride was made in silence, Hotch having to shake Emily slightly when they got to their floor, seeing as she'd dozed off. They made their way down the hallway in silence, Emily trying to protest as she realised he was taking her to his room. Hotch silenced her by running his thumb along her lips, gently pulling it up to the bruise that circled her eye. Emily stared up at him as his face creased in worry at the sight of her injuries.

"It's not that bad," She whispered as Hotch opened the door to his room, pulling her in by the waist.

"Sure, sure. Go sleep, Emily. I have some shirts in there if you don't want to wear what you are."

"But this is your bed, I can't just-" She was silenced again by Hotch stepping over, running his hand over the side of her face.

"You scared me today, Agent Prentiss," He whispered, his voice close to cracking. "God, you scared me so much. I... thought you were dead."

"Hotch, I'm right here. Don't worry, I'm not leaving."

"But you weren't here. You were in there and you were..." He sucked in his breath, not realising as his forehead dropped down to rest on hers and his hands went around her waist. "I had to listen. And when it went quiet, Emily, I just wanted to run in there and kill the son of a bitch who did that to you. You are never allowed to do that again, Agent Prentiss, do you hear me?"

She exhaled slowly, the breaths soft against Hotch's neck. "I know," the words were whispery against his skin and he had to almost physically fight the urge to not kiss her. "I'll try not to die on you again."

"You should sleep, come on, you're still pretty shaky."

So they walked together down the small hallway and into the room. Hotch made sure she sat down on the bed before he pulled the shirt off her. It wasn't sexual, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't notice her creamy pale skin, her breasts covered by a bra that Hotch had no desire to remove. He pulled an old t-shirt from his suitcase, sliding it down over Emily's body. Carefully, aware that she had more injuries, he slid her pants off as well, tugging at her shoes and socks, trying to ignore the fact that he was currently running his hands down her legs and she wasn't even saying anything.

Standing up and sitting beside her, Hotch saw why. Emily was slouched over slightly, eyes closed, sleeping. Hotch smiled gently and pulled her up onto the bed, arranging her slowly so that she was lying under the covers. Pausing for a moment, Hotch threw caution to the wind and changed quickly into a t-shirt and boxers, sliding in beside her and wrapping an arm around Emily's waist. Leaning forward, Hotch pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, murmuring the three words he realised she would never hear.

_I love you._

OoOoOoOoO

"We should wake them."

"But they look so CUTE."

"Those're the pregnancy hormones speaking."

"We'll be down in half an hour, let Emily sleep."

JJ and Derek's eyes widened and they stepped back quickly as Hotch spoke, his voice gravelly with sleep.

"Sorry, we just... the plane's leaving pretty soon," Derek bit his lip awkwardly, trying to think of a better reason for walking in on Hotch and Emily sleeping together.

At least they were both clothed.

"We'll go now. Sorry for waking you," JJ quickly pushed Derek out the door as Emily began to stir.

"What time is it?"

"About half an hour before we have to leave for the jet."

"Oh. Why are you here?"

"Well this is my room..."

"No, I mean-"

"I know what you mean," Hotch smiled down at her, noting for the second time how beautiful she was. "You fell asleep and were having nightmares." It wasn't a complete lie, she had kicked a bit in the night.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"Emily," Hotch's voice was laced with laughter as his fingers danced through her hair. "You're covered in bruises and you're worried if I'm hurt?"

"I guess so. Can you grab my clothes?"

And with that, the two of them pulled out of bed, getting dressed, showering and finally stepping to the door. Hotch frowned at the door, looking around for Emily and eventually finding her standing in front of the large window.

"Hey, we should go," He spoke, his arm going immediately around her waist. The sun was beginning to rise as he spoke and Emily leaned on his shoulder lightly.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she sighed. "Despite everything, it really is beautiful."

"Yeah, it is," Hotch replied. But he wasn't looking out the window. He was staring down at the woman in his arms, tugging her closer to his body and inhaling the scent of her hair. "Some might even say perfect."

_**My Fault – Imagine Dragons**_


	15. How Much More Can I Take?

Episode: Memoriam

"But I do give good phone."

Hotch's head shot up, turning towards Emily, who gave him a sideways glance telling him to let it slide. By now he was pretty much used to Garcia's... antics, but that didn't mean he wasn't thrown every once and a while.

Hotch glanced back down at the case file, pushing all thoughts about phones, Garcia's antics and a certain brunette agent who was standing beside him out of his head. It would not have been very good if he had started linking those three things together into a coherent thought.

As they progressed through the conversation about Reid's dad, Hotch felt strange. It was weird not to be there, working a case with the other half of his team. At the moment it was just him, JJ, Todd, Garcia and Emily. He was feeling a certain lack of masculinity that he assumed came with the fact that his office was full of women. Of course, JJ and Todd going off training and Garcia was doing whatever she did during work hours while they weren't doing a case left Emily blissfully free to be engaged in discussion, which he had been debating as he had been sitting up in his office. Unfortunately for him, though, when Emily did come up to talk to him it was to tell him that Derek and Rossi needed them to consult on Reid's case.

He had never been so sure that something or someone was out to get him.

His mind flashed back to their earlier discussion, when he had also been sitting up in his office, this time going over new case files. Having been bored by that and looking around desperately for something to do, his eyes had landed on the trio standing in the middle of the bullpen, laughing and talking. Grabbing a case file off his desk, he wandered down towards them, catching just the end of their conversation.

"I think JJ may have snagged the last viable donor," The musical tone in Emily's voice made him perk up more than any cup of coffee would, practically forcing him to join the conversation.

"Donor for what?" He realised how intrusive he sounded as he glanced up from the file, eyes going straight to hers.

"Ah, nothing I'm just reacquainting Agent Todd here with the layout." JJ responded quickly. He filed away the fact that JJ was hiding something, intending to ask Emily when he got her alone.

Probably sometime in the next decade. Probably.

"Nice to see you again, SSA Hotchner," He found the formality weird. Nobody on his team had called him that ... ever.

"Ah, please, Hotch," He almost shuddered at the thought of someone spending the next month or so calling him that every time she saw him.

He left soon after that, seeing the conversation taking a turn. He left with an inaudible sigh, mentally trying to get his act together.

Hotch was snapped back to reality by Emily's voice as the call ended. Garcia was busy punching away at keys as he glanced at Emily who nodded towards the door. The two of them left quietly, Hotch blinking as he entered the brightly lit hallway. He had never really noticed how dark it was in Garcia's lair.

"Hey, want some lunch? I noticed you were busy with like, a million case files and I was going to grab something anyway," He turned his head towards Emily, who was walking over to her desk, pulling a wallet out of her coat.

He blinked. Once. Twice. Three times before stuttering out an answer.

"Uh, yeah that sounds good, thanks. I'll grab some money, hold on a sec."

"Nah, it's fine, you can cover the next coffee run. Preferably any that take place before 8 in the morning," She grinned at him, stuffing a bill into her pocket and waving at Hotch as she pushed out the glass doors.

Hotch wondered what Dave would say if he saw the way he was watching her walk off.

OoOoOoOoOoO

It was when she returned that he got his chance. Ah the wonders a sandwich could do for a man who was most definitely NOT in love with his subordinate.

"Here you go, one BLT for you on whole wheat. Is that coffee I smell?" Hotch smiled at the excitement in Emily's voice as she noticed the coffee that was brewing.

"Yeah, want some?" She nodded quickly, grabbing a clean mug from the rack. Just as she was about to reach for the pot, though, he stuck his hand in front of it.

"Nuh-uh, this better count as my payback."

"Right, 2 in the afternoon definitely constitutes before 8 AM."

"It's before 8 AM tomorrow. I think that counts."

Emily rolled her eyes, then with the lightning fast reflexes that came from about 12 years on the job, she dodged Hotch's arm and grabbed the pot, grinning to herself as she poured.

"You're getting slow in your old age, Hotch," Emily smirked as she sipped from her dark mug.

"And you're _so _much younger than me."

"What, are you calling me old?" Emily feigned hurt and Hotch rolled his eyes. There was a comfortable silence for a few moments as Hotch bit into his sandwich, noting how Emily hadn't even needed to ask for his order. She was always being perceptive, noticing little details like that.

Also he was still not in love with her.

"So, donor for what?" He bit into his sandwich to hide his self-righteous grin as Emily choked on her coffee, coming up gagging slightly.

"Blood donor," She replied, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh? I think there are lots of viable donors for blood. There's a blood bank just down the street."

"Really? Well I retract my previous statement, then."

"Ah, I'm glad. I donate blood sometimes and I'd hate to find out that I wasn't _viable."_

"I think you'd be a very viable donor," Hotch glanced up, meeting Emily's eyes for a fraction of a second, trying to figure out what she was talking about. Instead of elaborating though, she yawned and sat down.

Hotch sighed and began to busy himself making tea while he tried to figure out the enigma that was Emily Prentiss. He was still coming to terms about his feelings. Hell, it had only been about a month, but he was already trying to deny his feelings. He was sure Dave had caught on (hell, Morgan and JJ had seen them _sleeping together). _It wasn't like he'd actually acted on his feelings! It wasn't even like he had any plans of acting on them until he was sure. Until they both were.

Hotch glanced at Emily out of the corner of his eye as the water began to boil. She was sipping from her mug, looking out over the bullpen, a million miles away, the look on her face so serene that he had to fight to look back down.

Ok, so maybe he was a little bit in love with her.


	16. It's Only Up To You

Episode: Memoriam

"With all due respect, ma'am, one of my agents just gave birth and I feel like I shouldn't leave for tonight. "

Emily edged quietly out of the hospital room, currently occupied by a sleeping JJ and Henry. Will had stepped out to make phone calls to his friends and family and Emily could just hear him now, talking animatedly to his mother. She frowned as she heard Hotch's voice and rounded a corner to see him looking extremely pissed.

"No, I am not the father. The agent in question is Jennifer Jareau and the father is Detective William LaMontagne Jr." A pause as Hotch rolled his eyes pointedly, still not seeing Emily. "Now, about this event, I- Right, sorry. About this _gala_." Hotch hissed out the word poisonously, spinning to the side and spotting Emily. He held up his hand before she had a chance to speak and then covered his ear.

"Yes, but I feel like it would be important for me to- Yes, I am aware of that, I have a son too. Yes, I do." Hotch moved his hand from his ear to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes in frustration. "Ma'am, if you'd just let me- Yes, I do, but I-" Hotch suddenly pulled the phone away from his ear, looking disgustedly at it before hitting a button and shoving it into his pocket. He turned to Emily looking tired and pissed.

"Hey," He sighed, moving closer to her.

"What was all that about?" She asked, nodding towards the phone he had stowed away.

"Strauss is insistent that I attend some FBI gala tonight. Not to mention the fact that I need to bring a plus one because it, quote, 'Would be a better representation of the BAU' end quote."

Emily laughed bitterly. "Hey, at least you tried to worm your way out of it. Also, good to know that you aren't Henry's father." She flashed him a teasing grin and Hotch just shook his head slowly.

"It's bull. Anyway, it's tonight at 7 so if you know anyone, _anyone at all, _who's free..." He trailed off, suddenly realising how pathetic he sounded.

"Well I'm not doing anything."

Hotch frowned. Was she agreeing to go to this as a friend or as his date?

"You sure? It would help me out immensely, but wouldn't it be too weird?"

"Right, because we've never gone out for dinner in public before." Emily rolled her eyes.

"Not alone."

"Yeah, I'm sure at a fancy FBI gala we're going to be alone. All the romantic implications of an open bar." Emily was awarded a small smile and she continued. "They are having an open bar, right?"

"Don't worry, even if there isn't I'll pay your tab as a thank you. Just, ah... don't get as drunk as you were on the ride back from LA." Hotch smirked as he saw the light blush cross Emily's face.

"Please, you guys were all being boring. At least I was enjoying myself."

"Right. Anyway, its black tie so be wary. I can pick you up at 6:30, ok?" Hotch raised an eyebrow, asking her for the sole purpose of letting her back out still. Instead, she smiled slightly (an expression which caused his stomach to turn uncomfortably) and turned around adding, with a light, musical tone,

"I can't wait."

OoOoOoOoOo

The doorbell was ringing much too soon for Emily's liking as she glanced down at herself, cursing the fact that she wasn't even dressed properly yet. Her makeup was gorgeous, hair in rings that she planned on putting up as soon as she found something to wear. At the moment, her clothes were exactly what she'd been wearing all day. Ruefully, she opened the door to see Hotch standing there looking... amazing.

Emily sucked in her breath lightly, her eyes scanning his body at a leisurely pace. His usual work suits were no match for this tuxedo, which was just a touch tighter than his suits usually were, the dress shirt underneath leaving _very little _to the imagination. And his bowtie, albeit a very formal black, was just adorable.

"When I said black tie, Prentiss, I didn't mean just me," Hotch sniffed, trying not to laugh as he leaned casually against the doorframe. He hadn't missed how her eyes had run over him for just a few seconds too long, and had his stomach not turned yet again at the thought, he would definitely have been teasing her about it.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I was just, ah, running a bit late."

"Take your time, I doubt we'll be missed too much if we aren't there right at 7," He replied, stepping into the apartment as Emily hurried up the stairs, calling down,

"Make yourself at home; I'll be a few minutes."

He paused, then made his way over to the couch and sat down. Suddenly overcome with memories, Hotch bit his lip painfully and looked away, ghosts of suppressed thoughts suddenly haunting his vision. Lips on lips, words clashing against words, pleas of hope and promises for tomorrow. It was only when a soft voice came from the stairs that he blinked his way back to the present. Glancing up, it was Hotch's turn to have his breath taken away. He stared hungrily as Emily descended the stairs, stepping onto the floor finally, looking down nervously at her dress.

It was perfect, hugging her curves so wonderfully that he could see the exact outline of her body. And she definitely didn't disappoint. It hung down just above her knees, held up by a thin string that was tied on one of her shoulders, the other beautifully and wonderfully exposed. It was all Hotch could do not to stride across the room, tear it off and take her right then and there.

"Is this fine? I feel like it's a little too-"

"It's gorgeous."

Emily glanced up, nervous for just a second at the look in Hotch's eyes. It was darker than she'd ever seen and for a moment, Emily couldn't read him at all.

"Hotch? You, uh, ok?"

"Mhm," was all he could manage before he gulped and stood, striding across the room and to the door. "We should probably go, it's getting late and I'm not 100% sure of the directions."

"Strauss hang up before she could tell you?" Emily smiled as she passed by Hotch, making her way out the door and locking it behind her. All he could do was nod painfully as the smell of her hair (strawberries) filled his nostrils and perfumed his mind, causing Hotch to momentarily forget his own name.

He followed Emily down the hallway, making their way outside to where his car was parked. As they drove in silence, Emily stared out the window up at the sky, contemplating why she was doing this.

_I'm just a friend helping another friend out._

She almost laughed at that, stopping herself as she realised that Hotch would ask her why she was laughing.

Emily exhaled deeply, leading Hotch to glance over, seeing her lost in thought as she stared out the window, the light from the moon on her face driving him up the wall.

How in the _hell _was someone allowed to be that beautiful?

The question plagued him until they got to the hall where the banquet was being held at. Neither Hotch nor Emily moved to leave the car. Both were lost in their own little worlds which, ironically enough, were filled only with each other. Eventually, Hotch snapped out of his reverie, stepping out of the car and going around to the side, opening the door for Emily, his hand immediately going around her waist as they made their way to the door.

"You ok?"

"I'm great," She looked up at him as the two stood on the step in front of the door. He looked down at her and for a moment Emily let her guard down, surprised as she felt Hotch's lips touch the top of her head.

"Good, because I just remembered that Strauss said that this was going to go on for about 3 hours."

OoOoOoOoOo

It took Emily all of 3 minutes until she broke. Pardoning herself from a horribly mundane water cooler conversation with some young blonde from counterterrorism (who wasn't even trying to hide her appreciation of Hotch and his clothing choice), Emily set off in search of alcohol. And lots of it.

Returning with two glasses of champagne, Emily noted the sound of dwindling conversation between Hotch and whatever-her-name-was. She felt Hotch's arm slink around her waist yet again as the blonde counterterrorism girl became bored and wandered off.

"Thanks," He whispered, draining half the glass in one slurp. Emily flashed him a smile and began to appraise the room.

"How is it that pretty much the most fast pace and intense jobs have the absolute most _boring _people I have ever had the misfortune of meeting?"

"Mmm," Hotch nodded in assent, scanning the crowd as well, tightening his grip on Emily's waist. He'd never tell her, but he didn't mind the mind-numbingly boring conversations as long as she was planted firmly against his side.

"Hotch, not that I don't find your alpha male quirks very... fascinating, but Strauss is making her way over here and she might not be overjoyed to see your arm around me. Fraternization and all," Emily glanced up as Hotch contemplated this, deciding finally to relinquish her from his grasp. The moment his arm fell to his side, though, he felt strangely empty. It pained him, but he hid it by taking another sip from his now empty glass.

"Aaron," The older blonde greeted him stiffly, her eyes going from Hotch to Emily, then back to Hotch. "I must admit, I expected somebody outside FBI."

"I'm only here as a friend, ma'am," Emily replied smoothly. Too smoothly. So smoothly that Hotch felt his heart thump painfully and he glanced down, wondering if he could get another glass of something stronger.

"Ah, of course. And how's Agent Jareau? Healthy, I hope?"

"Yeah, she and the baby are doing fine," Hotch replied. "Sorry, if you'll pardon us, we were just going to go get a drink."

` "Don't let me interrupt. Enjoy your night, agents."

Emily frowned quizzically as Hotch pulled her away to the bar, ordering another two champagnes.

"She seemed normal, what gives?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm just suddenly really tired," The last part was true, though. Hotch was dog-tired from two back-to-back cases, despite the fact he had been home for the last one. He didn't want to even look at another piece of paperwork for at least another day.

"Shall we leave, then? If you want to go home I can just grab a cab, or-"

"I'm giving you a ride, Emily."

She gave Hotch a wry smile and dipped her head. "Figured as much. One last drink and round, then we'll go, ok? Wouldn't want the Strauss thinking we're leaving early."

"God forbid she thinks we're slacking off on our after-work gala duties," He deadpanned. Emily grinned, taking the champagne from the counter and sipping from it, Hotch's arm going around her waist again.

They were just about to leave when music came on and Hotch noticed Emily dragging her feet slightly whenever he mentioned leaving.

"Emily?" He nudged her lightly in the side and smiled as she swayed very slightly to the music.

"Mmm?"

"Would you like to dance with me?"

Emily's head shot up, her eyes fixing on his. For a split second, he thought she was going to decline and he realised with surprise how scared he was that she was going to say no. Hotch blinked.

"Of course. I wouldn't be a very good date if I said no," Emily smiled too as Hotch tugged her towards the middle of the room, his arm settling easily on her waist, other hand clasped in hers. They swayed slowly, turning in a small circle.

Neither would ever know, but both were trying to grasp a word to describe how they felt. And, after about 30 seconds of contemplation, both landed on the same word.

_Serene._

"You look beautiful, by the way. Did I mention that?"

Emily laughed, shaking her head, "No, but it's always welcome."

"Well in that case," Hotch leaned forward, his lips brushing her ear as Emily tried not to turn into a puddle of goo. "You, Agent Prentiss, clean up very nicely."

"So I went from being beautiful to cleaning up nicely?" Emily feigned hurt as she turned her head away, only to feel Hotch's hand pulling her chin back to face him.

"Let's call it a draw and say you both clean up nicely and are very, _very _beautiful."

"Careful, Hotch," Emily bit her lip as they resumed swaying. "Strauss might be watching and get the wrong impression."

"Then this is going to give her a very wrong impression."

Before Emily could react to his words, his lips were on hers, the fire that had sparked within her so long ago suddenly rekindled and burning bright. Heat radiated from their lips and Emily could hardly focus as Hotch's arms slid down her waist, his hands twining with hers, all pretenses of dancing forgotten.

Emily wasn't in love with him then. Not yet. She doesn't fall in love with him until she stares through a glass, separated from him not only by that, but by the defeated look on his face as he lies on the hospital bed knowing in his heart that he can't save everybody.

_**Wow, I originally just wanted a fic with Hotch and Emily going to a party together. Now it accidentally became their second kiss. **_

_**Awkward because it's only Season 4. Awkward because Emily doesn't love him. Awkward.**_

_**Ah, well. Hope you guys loved it, even though it wasn't supposed to be anything even remotely like this!**_

_**Shake, Shake, Shake – Bronze Radio Return**_


	17. AN

_**A/N:**_

_**Hi, guys me here. Just wanted to say that I was rewatching a few episodes and got this idea to add in a few episodes to this fic. Because of this, I added a new scene to Memoriam (so check it out, it's a during-the-show behind-the-scenes fic) and I also am adding a couple smaller episodes here and there that take place in Soul Mates and Cold Comfort.**_

_**Ok, that's all quite confusing, but oh well.**_

_**If TL;DR, then here's the short version: New chapter before Memoriam and I'm adding one or two new chapters along with this A/N**_


	18. He Says Your Heart Won't Lie

Episode: 52 Pickup

_"If you're too obvious you turn off your target, if you're oblivious your target moves on to another profiler."_

The words rang through Hotch's head as he made his way up the stairs to Becky's apartment, Emily in tow. Hotch narrowed his eyes as he passed police officers on his way up, wondering how much of the crime scene was being contaminated.

Was it word choice? Did she have feelings for another member of the team? Hotch's mind raced as he pondered the situation. He was glad he had paired himself with her. A sudden flash of jealousy overwhelmed him at the thought of Emily being with someone else on the team.

But what did it all _mean. _He had never been good at reading into relationships. Hell, with Hayley she practically had to tell him to his face that she had feelings for him before he realised. Stick him in a room with a serial killer and he'd be fine, but just the thought of Emily Prentiss was enough to turn his mind to mush.

Sighing as they entered the room, he watched as she made her way across to the balcony, looking out over the view, her hair sweeping down in front of her face, sun hitting her at just the right angle for him to see the slight contours of her pale complexion.

Yup, he had it bad.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Are you ready to meet Viper?"

He should have said no. He should have said, "Oh, Emily, I don't know if I can handle all his raw untamed sexuality, please go off with Morgan and I'll sit here and try and figure out what the hell Reid's doing with his maps."

At least, that was what he was thinking while he listened to the filth that _Viper _was spewing. It was disgusting. He spoke as if men were serial killers and women were placed on the planet for sex. Hotch was barely able to walk up to the man without punching him in the face.

And then the things he said to Emily. The way he so obviously leered at her, analysing every part of her body. Hotch stepped slightly closer to her, eyeing Viper as he spoke. It was only when Viper stepped forward, closer to Emily, that Hotch tensed up, hand reaching back slightly and ghosting over the form of his gun.

"But meet me on my turf... oh, the things I could make you do."

Emily scoffed shaking her head slightly as Hotch stepped forward, handing him their card. He noted how Viper never broke eye contact and the desire to punch him outweighed his need to be alpha and stand at Emily's side, causing him to turn away. Emily followed after him, shaking her clothes slightly as if ridding them of dirt from Viper.

"Please, tell me we are not giving up on that guy."

"We're just getting started."

They drove back in silence, Hotch's hands gripping the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white for the whole ride. As soon as they got to the station, Hotch shooed Morgan and Emily on ahead, pulling out his phone and calling Garcia. Emily stayed behind, however, giving him a confused look. He tried to shoo her away again, only to feel her hand ghosting down his arm, a nervous look crossing her face.

_I'm fine._ Hotch mouthed, trying to give her a small smile, but failing as Garcia picked up.

"The Oracle of All-Knowing at your service, what can I do you for?"

"Hey, Garcia," Hotch raised his eyebrow at Emily who paused a moment before leaving to follow after Morgan. "I need you to find everything you can on a man named Viper."

"I can get you anything your little heart desires, sir. Any particular reason, though?"

"He uh, said some things to her and I want a background check on him."

"What things?"

Hotch bit his lip, not wanting to repeat anything that Viper had said. "Along the lines of, 'If you met me on my turf, the things I could make you do.'" He replied, uneasily.

"Was there more?' Garcia whispered, disgusted already as she began a preliminary search of Viper.

"Yes. Basically the whole interview was him leering at Emily and telling her about the things he's ... done."

"H-He actually said that? To Prentiss?"

"Yes he did, so what can you tell me about him?"

"I can tell you the Viper's real name was Paul Thomas and before he rechristened himself ... he had a major mullet going on."

"Garcia, we need the names of all of his students."

"Uhh, I'm going to need a couple hours for workaround."

"I also need you to send Reid everything you can about uh, what this guy teaches. I think the UNSUB's using one of his routines. We need to start building a linguistic profile."

"Sir... Does this guy's stuff actually work? On real breathing girls?" Hotch frowned at Garcia's words.

"Why are you asking me?"

"I abhor the whole chicks dig jerks thing."

"Well fortunately Garcia, you're one of the exceptions." Hotch didn't mention the other woman in the BAU that he hoped was an exception.

"Well, be still my bespeckled heart, so are you, sir."

He smiled despite himself, murmuring out a thanks and turning off his phone, unable to keep Emily off his mind until Rossi's voice broke his reverie.

OoOoOoOoOo

_Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Prentiss?" Hotch bit his lip, unsure of what he'd find on the other side of the door.

"Yeah, come on in."

"Hey, I'm 10 minutes away."

Hotch paused, struck suddenly by how gorgeous she was. Her eyes were dark, hair curled around her face, framing it beautifully.

"You're okay with this, right?" He realised how awkward he looked and felt, but he had to ask.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," She smiled, pulling an earring out. "Sadly, I've actually dated people worse than Viper."

"Wow," He was completely unprepared for that moment of truth and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "So I guess I'm a step up, then."

Emily glanced up and he held her gaze for a moment, purposely not looking away.

"I guess so."

"Look, Emily, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to invite you out the other day and to... Well..."

"Hotch, it's fine," She reassured, slipping off her necklace.

"No, it's not. You gave me time to think and to contemplate things and I haven't been."

"You've been busy," She offered, knowing it was futile.

"I've been avoiding the issue. We both know that this..." He gestured openly, unsure of what else to call it. "Can't happen. I'm not going to deny my feelings, but it can't work."

"Yet," Her voice was soft, almost imperceptible, but Hotch heard it and his head shot up. Emily was turned away from him, unashamedly unbuttoning her shirt. She pulled it off and Hotch glanced away, always the gentleman.

"Do you really believe that?" He whispered, his voice low as he studied the ceiling.

"I do," Emily replied, sliding the dark dress on, tugging off her jeans underneath.

"But... why?" She turned around, tossing her jeans into the locker and tugging her dress down slightly so the wrinkles were smoothed out. Emily paused and studied herself in the mirror before closing the locker door, walking up to Hotch, and placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I said it before, Hotch. You're worth waiting for."

_**Omg third kiss what am I doing with my life. Ok, let's see. I've been browsing through my playlist and I can't really find a song to fit this. I NEED MORE SUGGESTIONS PEOPLE. Also, how'd you like the last chapter? ;) You are all so very welcome. Hope it'll tide you over until season 7. **_

_**Also, if you haven't already, you should totally check out my other fics. I have (in my humble opinion) a pretty good one that I'm collaborating with my friend on. It's called How to be a SeReidal Killer and it's insanely Reid-centric and super angsty and everything any fangirl loves. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this (I 'm currently watching 'Normal' and just finished writing 'Brothers in Arms')**_

_**History's Door - Husky**_


	19. You're Worth Falling Down FOr

Episode: Brothers in Arms

"Damn you."

Hotch looked up to see Emily leaning in the doorway of his office, arms crossed, smirking at him. He lowered his pen, tipping his head to the side, eyebrow raised.

"Hello to you too. What are you doing here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," She replied, crossing the room and sitting in the chair across from Hotch's desk.

"You could, but it'd be pointless. I have more reason to stay after late than you."

"Oh yeah, I have hundreds of thousands of suitors just clamoring to get their hands on me," Emily replied, sarcastically.

"I wouldn't be surprised," He rumbled, looking back down to his paperwork as Emily furiously tried not to blush.

"Well, be that as it may, I wanted to check up on you." At his puzzled expression Emily continued on, trying to keep her voice steady.

"You did almost die today."

"No I didn't, we had the profile correct and I was never in any real danger." Hotch dismissed, easily. It wasn't until a few seconds later that his head snapped up as he grasped what she was saying.

"Emily... were you worried about me?"

Emily glanced away, out the window. She didn't want to talk. Not so soon after the last case. They were getting too close, private and professional lines blurring. Emily was worried, unsure of where it would lead them and if she was ready.

"Emily?"

"Never mind, Hotch, its fine." Emily murmured, ignoring the screaming voice in her head that told her she should talk to him.

"Emily, whatever it is that's bugging you isn't fine. Talk to me, I'm here," She scanned his eyes, all pretenses of work forgotten as Emily took a deep breath.

"I was scared for you. When you and Morgan went up first and you were the first inside... I was genuinely afraid. And then with the UNSUB following you. Hotch, he came within about 3 feet of you and you almost died!" Emily slumped back chewing on the inside of her cheek. "I think I'm losing my objectivity."

"Emily..."

"I know, I was right there but I was so close to shooting him or shouting for you to be careful. I don't know what to do."

"We have to remember that both of us are careful, competent people. I can take care of myself, you can take care of yourself." Hotch's lips were pressed into a thin line and Emily glanced away again, reprimanding herself for staring at his lips.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I think I may go home now," She added, standing.

"Don't be sorry. And I'll walk you out."

Emily just dipped her head as she stepped out of his office, walking down the steps to her desk to retrieve her things. Hotch's presence behind her while she went about the mundane task of getting her stuff together was reassuring.

_Maybe, _Emily thought to herself as the two made their way to the elevator, Hotch hitting the lights as they left, _that's all I need. Just a little bit of reassurance._

_**Shoelaces – The Submarines**_


	20. Planting Lilacs and Buttercups

Episode: Soul Mates

"They're gonna ask who you are," The girl spoke, softly. "They don't know."

Emily frowned, having already noticed the fact. She almost suggested leaving before Hotch cut in.

"We're just buying flowers," Hotch ignored the feeling in his stomach that told him that he was buying flowers. With Emily. _Here._

"Those daisies are nice," Emily caught on, moving slightly closer to Hotch, getting into the mindset of being in a couple with him, buying flowers.

The intense thudding of her heart wasn't helping the questioning.

"In your report, uh... it says your attacker knew what he wanted. That he was confident," She hated bringing up something so dark in such a light setting. A flower shop, for God's sake!

"More like a control freak," The girl replied, dully. "He... wore a mask but I could tell he was white. He... choked me. It took a long time for the bruises to go away. I swear when the light's right I can still see his handprint here."

Hotch looked over at the girl, pity burrowing into his chest. He could never directly relate to these kinds of cases, simply because he didn't know how they felt. Still, Emily was here and doing well so far.

"I'm sorry."

"It's... not as bad as the bite marks. They're scars now. I haven't been with anyone since so I've never had to explain," She took a deep breath, then walked into the shop. "Let me wrap these for you."

"Thank you," Emily replied, taking a deep breath then glancing over at Hotch. "You alright?"

"Fine. I'll get the flowers, don't worry." Emily dipped her head, leaving to go towards the car. Hotch went inside, throwing a twenty onto the counter and told the woman to keep the change. Just as he walked out, flowers in hand, butterflies in stomach, he gave the girl one last look.

"I really am sorry."

OoOoOoOoO

It had been a long case and Emily was glad they had a night in a nice hotel to unwind. She was looking forward to spending a few hours watching mindless tv, then falling asleep to the dulcet sounds of Billie Mays advertising something new.

Instead, there was a knock at her door. Emily sighed, hoping it wasn't Hotch with paperwork.

Ok, so maybe she wanted it to be Hotch, but that didn't mean she wanted it to be paperwork.

Wandering over to the door, dressed to the nines in pajama bottoms and a red tank top, Emily opened the door quickly, frowning as she saw nobody there. It took her a moment to register the small gift that sat in front of her door.

Bending down to pick it up, Emily raised the flowers to her nose, the bunch obscuring her huge smile.

The daisies really did look nice.

_**Sorry this was so short, but I just wanted Hotch giving Emily flowers :] I was wracking my brains trying to find a song for this, but I think I settled on a pretty good one. SORRY FOR ALL THE CONFUSION WITH THE CHAPTERS!**_

_**Song: Mushaboom - Feist**_


	21. You Can Make Me Feel So Strange

Episode: Cold Comfort

"A romantic opportunity might experience a slight hitch due to a pesky lunar influence which could have you dipping into a rather chilly mood. If being demonstrative and warm is difficult, then neutralize this temporary cold front with a simple but affectionate gesture!"

Hotch glanced down at the few members of his team, catching the last parts of their conversation. He didn't normally enjoy going down to the bullpen early in the day (or late in the day, for that matter...). He usually just stayed up in his office, which was what he was doing now because of the abundance of other agents that seemed to hang around. Not to mention the fact that they occasionally hit on certain members of his team. Certain members that he had recently admitted his feelings for.

Certain members that were flipping the bird at other members on his team.

Hotch had to turn away and stare out his window to suppress his laughter. He glanced at his watch, noting that they had a debriefing coming up in about 5. Glancing back at the bullpen, he noted Emily looking slightly downcast. With a frown, he recalled Garcia's spiel, wondering if it had gotten to Emily more than she'd let on. Blinking quickly, Hotch realised that he felt badly for her. Hell, he felt sad. With that, Hotch realised suddenly that he was going to make it up to her. Somehow, he'd cheer her up.

OoOoOoOoO

The first step was pairing him with her. Hotch walked down along the path, Emily at his side as the detective talked to them about Brooke Lombardini. They talked, trading ideas back and forth. It wasn't much. Actually, it was hardly anything. Which was why he was where he was as they rode back on the jet.

"Hey, you ok?" Emily turned away from the darkened window she had been staring out of, looking at her questioner.

"What? Yeah, why?" She looked up at him, thoughtfully.

"You seemed ... off. Not exactly your work, but... you,"

"Hotch, I'm fine. Really," She glanced away, back out the window.

"Emily, look at me," Hotch stared at the younger woman's face until she turned towards him. "You can talk to me. Really, I'm here,"

"It's nothing. Just... I never really had a chance for a real life. I'm an Ambassador's daughter, I joined the FBI and I've put work ahead of my life for the last what, 12 years? I can probably count on one hand how many dates I've had in that amount of time and I just... wish it wasn't like that." She sighed deeply, head slumping down.

"I felt the same after Hayley left." Emily's head raised up, meeting Hotch's eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's really heartless to be complaining about this when-"

"You're anything but heartless, Emily. It's fine," Hotch glanced out the window too, not wanting to avoid eye contact, but knowing that she felt nervous.

"Guess this job isn't conducive to relationships, hm?"

"It seems to be working for Garcia," Hotch muttered, grimly.

"Yeah, and look at what she had to go through to get Kevin. Do you really want to go through possible death just to have sex?" Emily's mouth twitched up slightly, and Hotch gave her a small smile in return.

"Depends on the sex."

_**Ah, fluffy. Basically I just needed to lighten the mood. Sorry this and the last were so short. They were basically just here to lighten the mood. Anyway, still looking for any song ideas and again, sorry for the chapter weirdness.**_

_**Song: Doo Doo Doo - Computer**_


	22. Friends Will Be Gone Away

Episode: Demonology

Hotch needed time to clear his head. They had gone on a few different cases since she had kissed him and only about four since they had talked about relationships on the plane.

In this profession, you'd be lucky to get 5 minutes to clear your head.

So when she walked into his office, sopping wet, her hair curling from the rain (Hotch couldn't help but notice how good she looked with her hair curled), there was only one thing he could do. Suddenly forgetting the task at hand, and almost dropping the legal pad he held, Hotch almost rushed over to Emily but held back, instead asking,

"What's wrong?"

"Um, I just found out that an old friend of mine died." He held steady, trying to hold down the rush of sadness that poured through him.

"I'm sorry. Do you need to take some time?"

"Um, there's a chance that he could have been... murdered and there might be a second case."

"What do you need?" There were no second thoughts, no questions. Anything she needed he would do for her.

"Just some leeway to check it out."

"Of course, anything."

"Thank you."

"Emily, if you want to take a few days and let us look into it..." Hotch trailed off, realising he had called her Emily and not Prentiss. It was relieving in a way. He was glad that his Boss instincts weren't heartless enough to call Emily by her last name at such a dark time.

"Matthew was incredibly messed up and I hadn't seen him in a long time. But he was important to me." The pain in her voice strangled him, urging Hotch to repeat his offer.

"At least let us help."

"Thank you."

He watched her walk away, tears mixing with rainwater on her face. He had never seen her so defenceless, so sad and injured. Hotch promised himself in that moment that he'd do anything he could to help her.

OoOoOoOoO

"You didn't have to come in, Emily."

"I needed some information on how Matthew... died," Emily willed herself to stay strong as she bit her lip, watching Hotch frown.

"Alright, well, it's early and I called the team in. Morgan should be here soon and you can go with him to see Matthew, alright?" He grabbed the case file, handing it to Emily, who shuddered slightly as she took it without looking at the contents.

"Hotch, you don't have to do this," She whispered, practically pleading.

"Emily, what kind of a person would I be if I just made you deal with this on your own?" He was almost horrified that she thought he'd do that.

"A boss who's thinking about his other subordinates and the stack of more important case files in JJ's office?" She retorted, bitterly.

"Emily. I don't even want to hear a debriefing on a single one of those files until we know the truth about Matthew and the second victim. _You _are a priority right now."

Emily smiled wearily, dipping her head. "Have I said thank you already?"

"Once or twice," Hotch replied with a small smile.

"Thought so. I can grab some coffee, you want some?"

"I'll get it, you can sit on the couch and look over the file. Be back in a few minutes." Emily inclined her head sitting down on the couch with a sigh so drawn out that all Hotch wanted to do was go over and pull her into his arms. But instead, he left her there, going to make her a coffee.

When Hotch returned she was curled up on the couch, sleeping. He didn't know that she hadn't even glanced at the file. He didn't know that she hadn't slept in the last day and a half. He didn't know that it had been the relaxing scent of his office that had lulled her to sleep, guarding her from the dangers that had taken Matthew.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"My office." Emily stormed ahead of Hotch, giving the priest a lethal glare as she passed by him, swiftly entering the office and turning around to face her boss.

"Are you actually accusing the Italian government of authorising this man's assassination list?" Hotch demanded, exasperated.

"He admits he was present at every death!" Emily yelled, anger etched across her face.

"The case is over."

"You said you'd give me leeway!" Her voice had risen to panicky, fear surging in.

"And I did. I understand your frustration; there are some things we cannot control. Take some time off." He tried to be calm, but he could feel the lines blurring in his mind. Hotch knew that if they were to work this case, he wouldn't be able to do this with Emily there, in this state.

"What?"

"I don't want to _see you in the office _for the next few days." That was a lie. Of course he wanted her there. Hotch wanted her there more than anything, but as she gaped at him, turning and fleeing his office, only to be chased after by Rossi, he knew that he couldn't keep her here. It wouldn't be fair.

OoOoOoOoO

"This comes down on all of us."

"I'm fine with that, you?" Rossi's eyebrow tipped up and Hotch stared at him, trying to search for words. How could he express how he felt? The woman he _loved _had gone against his orders to stay home and recuperate, while one of his best friends was asking him how he felt about that. Not to mention the fact that he could lose his job because an entire government was mad at him.

"Yeah, I am."

OoOoOoOoOoO

Hotch sent the priest to ride in the car with Derek and Rossi. When the older man had asked why the sudden change, he had only one answer.

"I think I'll go for a walk."

Rossi paused a moment, realisation sinking in. He nodded his head slowly, choosing his words carefully.

"I hope you find what you're looking for."

"I hope I do too."

Hotch walked for a long time, following the tracks in the snow, which were shaky a times. He followed them step by step, placing his feet where hers had walked, no more than ten minutes ahead of him. Hotch glanced up every once and a while, eventually realising where her feet had taken him.

Emily sat on the front step of the church, rubbing at her nose as she stared down at an old, bent photograph. She could feel him drawing near, smell the faint traces that she could only describe as _Hotch._

"Come back to take me up on my offer of gun and badge?" She asked softly as she listened to him sit beside her, his shape filling her peripheral vision.

"I'm here to apologize."

"For what? I know you were just doing your job. Hell, you risked your job for me. I know you didn't reprimand me until you absolutely had to and even then you called up _the Vatican _for me. Don't apologize, Hotch, it's less than unnecessary."

He smiled slightly at her, reaching over and covering her bare hand with his gloved one. "I guess I did call up the Vatican for you, didn't I?"

She smiled, her eyes still fixed on the photo. Hotch paused a moment, then reached over,, running his hand under her nose and wiping away the blood. Emily closed her eyes, leaning over onto his shoulder as snowflakes fell, landing in her hair and on the tips of her eyelashes.

"You know, you don't have to stay here with me."

"What kind of person would I be if I didn't?"

"Someone who needed to make sure the UNSUB was taken care of and someone who has lots of smoothing over to do with lots of people."

"No, Emily, I'd have to be heartless to ignore the fact that you need someone right now."

"You aren't heartless, Hotch," Emily whispered, her voice soft, a small puff of air dissipating before Hotch's eyes as she spoke. He watched the snowflakes fall around them, covering his head and shoulders, blanketing her body in white.

"Only because you opened my eyes."

_**Song: Rivers and Roads – The Head and the Heart**_


	23. Do You Think We're Strong Enough?

Episode: Roadkill

"Uh, I'll catch up with you."

"Ok," Hotch looked up to see JJ walk away. He frowned, going back to shuffling papers.

"What the hell happened back there?" Emily stormed into the room, her eyes wide as she stared at Hotch.

"What?"

"You told us to stay on the line and then you go off and try to kill yourself?"

"Emily, I was stopping our UNSUB. Or, at least, trying to." Hotch bit his lip, touching the small cut on his forehead gently.

"I was _on the line. _The whole time, Hotch! I thought you had died!"

"Emily, this is the job. I'm ok and there's no lasting damage."

"Yeah but..." She paused a moment, dropping the case file on a nearby table and stepping towards Hotch.

"But what?" He murmured, as JJ left the office, the man in tow looking considerably more pleased than when he'd entered.

"But nothing, its fine," Emily turned away, staring out the window. "We're down a car, right?"

"Yeah, we need two to stay back for about half an hour longer while we drive back and forth. We can get another car back at Quantico," Hotch sat down in the nearest chair, leaning back and analyzing Emily. "You gonna tell me what this is really about?"

"Want some coffee? I'm dead tired."

"Emily..."

"Coffee?" Hotch's eyes were trained on Emily as she stood, turning towards the coffee maker, ignoring his soft plea.

"Yeah, sure."

Hotch sighed, turning away from Emily and biting his lip as he glanced down at the now closed case file. Was she really so scared that he had been in danger of dying? Hotch closed his eyes, wondering what to say. How could they keep going on like this? Fearing for the other's life in every dangerous situation and still attempting to remain professional.

The guise was fracturing, breaking up into hundreds of tiny pieces. And Hotch didn't know what would fix it.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"So, care to share what's going on with you?" Hotch turned away from the window he'd been staring out of, looking at Rossi as he sat down across from him.

"What do you mean? Everything's mostly the same with me," Hotch frowned at Rossi, who smirked at him.

"Right. And there's absolutely nothing going on with a certain brunette member of our team."

Hotch let out a sigh, turning now towards the agent in question, who was curled up in the small one-seater across the way from where he and Rossi sat.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know."

"You know, she has feelings for you, Aaron," Hotch ran his hands through his hair quickly, then turned back to face Rossi.

"Really? You think so?"

Rossi grinned at Hotch, wondering just how long it had been since he himself had felt this way for someone.

"Yeah, I'm sure of it. Are you going to act on it?"

"I don't know," He replied, defeated. "She wants to give me time, but it's more than just her and I. It's the fact that I don't know how either of us would do knowing that there's always the chance the other might die on the job. Not to mention fraternization rules."

"You're rambling."

"Am I? I just don't know how to deal with it. Right now at least. Soon, I think."

"You're sure about all this? Do you think you and her are ready?"

Hotch looked back over at the woman of his affections, his words soft and tender as he responded.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Little did he know that something was going to come along and change all of that. Something that had been hidden at the back of every member of the BAU's minds for a while now.

Something that would haunt him to his dying day.

_**I'M SO SORRY FOR LEAVING IT THERE. But on that note, yay newest episode done. Next up: FOYET –dundun dunnnnnnnnnnnnn- Uh, leave a review I guess.**_

_**Song: Rusted Heart – Mike Edel and The Fugitives**_


	24. Fighting For My Life All On My Own

Episode: Nameless, Faceless

She couldn't help it. Every step she took, Emily was looking out for Hotch, wondering where he was as the case progressed. It was early, yes, but not so much so that he wouldn't have been able to function.

For a brief moment, Emily wondered if he was with someone.

She asked where he was. Nobody knew. She listened to JJ's conversation with his answering machine.

She was scared. After everything that had happened, run-ins with death, the last case they'd had, everything, it was hard not to worry. Emily pushed all realisations that the only person she was truly worried about was the one she should've worried about the least.

It didn't matter, though. She continued to be wary, each tall man with dark hair she saw making her turn her head. Each low voice causing her to search for a face.

Emily asked JJ again for any word on him. Her mind was unfocused, blank. A voice in her head that sounded painfully like his scolded her for treating the case with such little care.

She told that voice to screw off.

It was only when Dr Barton talked about not being able to get through so many files that she realised her window of opportunity.

"He's right, there are too many files here for us to profile in such a short period of time," Emily stood, glancing at her watch. "Umm, I can get to Hotch's and get back here in half an hour," Emily prayed that Reid would give her free rein on this, but even if he didn't she was already inching towards the door.

"Who's that?"

Reid sighed. "He's our supervisor, we weren't supposed to work today and we've had trouble getting a hold of him."

"But... we need more eyes," Emily turned and left the house, breathing a sigh of relief as she got into the dark SUV. She wanted to see him. God, she _needed _to see him.

It wasn't until she got into the apartment that she realised anything was wrong.

OoOoOoOoO

Emily rushed into Hotch's apartment building, looking around quickly as she walked down the hallway to his door.

"Hotch, it's me, Emily!" She glanced down, dialing his cell number, wondering how he could be such a heavy sleeper.

If he was inside at all.

The ringing of his phone inside was her first indication. If she had been thinking straight, she would have realised that there had been others. But Emily wasn't thinking straight. Especially not when the door just _opened. _

She drew her gun, immediately bursting in and profiling the room. Keys on table, briefcase set down.

Hole in wall.

Bloodstain on floor.

Emily's mouth dropped open as she processed the scene before her, trying to think straight. She needed to clear the apartment. Emily moved through the rooms quickly, securing each small corner and dark hiding place. She checked the whole place three times before beginning to pace through the living room area, trying to wrap her mind around what had happened.

She forced her personal matters out of her head—forced newfound realisations about his lifestyle out— as she dialed Garcia's number.

"Garcia I need you to listen very carefully, I think something's happened to Hotch," Emily's voice was flat, monotone as she tried to stay unbiased.

"What do you mean, something?"

"_I don't know_, but I'm in his place, here, and there's blood."

"Oh my god."

"I need you to send police and FBI techs here right away, everyone available," Her guise was slipping and soon it would be discarded completely. It never even occurred to either of the women that anything short of the entire police and FBI taskforce would be less than enough.

"Want me to issue an APB?"

"Only on Hotch, I checked out front, his car's still here."

"Someone took him?"

"I- I don't know, there's blood but I can't be sure whose it is, _just get people here."_ She couldn't hold up much longer. The words were shaky and her knees were threatening to give out.

"I'm sending an army."

"Garcia, I'm gonna have to tell Reid because he's expecting me back, but you can't tell the others. They cannot be distracted."

"Ok. Ok..."

Emily collapsed onto the couch, feeling tears stinging at her eyes. Rubbing them away quickly, the voice in her head spoke again, telling her she had more pressing matters at hand. Emily stood, pushing the voice out and stumbling into Hotch's bathroom, washing her face in the small sink. Looking up at her reflection, Emily was suddenly glad she wore waterproof mascara. Still, she looked like a mess. Emily closed her eyes, wiping her face off with a small hand towel. For a moment, she lingered, pressing it to her face, feeling the tears threaten to come back.

_He might be dead. He might be dead and there was nothing I could have done._

Suddenly, she tossed the towel down, pulling open the door and beginning to scan every inch of the apartment. Going quickly through his desk, Emily pulled out a pad of paper and pencil (surprise, surprise, he was a neat freak at work _and _at home) and set to work, writing down every tiny detail about Hotch's home.

If she was going to do one thing in her life, it would be making sure the son of a bitch who did this was either behind bars for life or six feet under.

OoOoOoOo

"Talk to me, Garcia." Emily watched the Bureau techs wander around Hotch's apartment, fighting an urge to tell them to stop rooting through his personal things.

"I- I called hospitals to see if Hotch had gotten himself admitted into an emergency room."

"And?" She had no time for anything but straight facts.

"Well, he's not listed as a patient, but someone dropped a 'John Doe' off at St. Sebastian hospital and that someone's name was FBI Agent Derek Morgan."

"That doesn't make sense," Emily frowned, her mind running at a million miles an hour.

"I know, do you think they got their credentials mixed up?"

Cold realisation poured down on Emily, as her mind unfurled a revelation. "The reaper. Foyet took Morgan's creds."

"Why would he drop him off at the ER?"

"What hospital did you say again?"

"St. Sebastian hospital."

"I'll call you with an update when I get there," She took off running, out the door, down the hallway and to her car, the only thought in her head being that the reaper never left survivors unless he had a reason.

OoOoOoO

"He was stabbed nine times but no major arteries were hit. It's a miracle he's alive."

"When will he wake up?'

"Anesthesia should wear off within the hour but he's bound to be out of it."

"May I stay here?"

"Of course."

Emily watched as the nurse left the room, choosing to pull a chair forward. She studied his vitals for a moment before her eyes rested on his steady breathing.

She knew that in books and movies people would talk to the person who was lying there. They would have a long spiel about how much they loved them and how all they wanted was for them to wake up. Then the person would awake and they'd kiss and everything would be alright.

But here... here, when Hotch awoke all that would happen would be a month of recovery time and the looming presence of Foyet hanging over them until he struck again. So, as Emily edged forward, taking Hotch's hand in hers, the only thing she could think to say was,

"Sleep, Hotch. I can't promise it'll be better when you wake up, but I promise I'll be here."

OoOoOoOoO

The slight flutter of his eyelashes as he awoke made Emily almost smile. She pulled it back, though, trying to separate her emotions from her work. Hotch needed Prentiss right now. Not Emily.

"Can you remember what happened?"

Hotch could feel the lights burning against his lids, the harsh brightness cut slightly by squeezing his eyes shut. His chest had a dull ache throbbing through it, causing him to want to wince. Instead, he recalled the memories, sharp and clear as if he was experiencing them again.

"What did he take?" He whispered, his voice hoarse and dry. Opening his eyes slightly, Hotch looked up at Emily, her face looking grim and dark.

"What do you mean?"

"The reaper always takes something from his victims. Do you know what he took?" His words were soft, trying to make sense of it all.

Then Emily. Emily spoke, her voice laced with concern as she told him words he had hoped never to hear.

"There was a page missing from your day planner in the address section, the B's."

` Hotch gritted his teeth, realisation running through him. "What'd he leave?"

"I don't know."

"He also leaves something with his victims."

"I looked over your whole apartment, nothing felt out of place."

"Where are my clothes?" He sighed as he opened his eyes, watching Emily come over, pulling out a shirt soaked with blood. _His blood. _

His wallet he retrieved, visions of the picture Foyet had stashed in the elderly couple's car dancing through his head as he stared back at the image of Jack and Hayley.

"Hayley's maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the B's with her personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands," Hotch looked up at the faces of his teammates, suddenly feeling horribly exposed before them.

"He knows where they live."

OoOoOoOoO

Emily sat beside Hotch as he stared at the picture of Hayley and Jack. He was aware of her watching him. He was glad she was there, glad she had insisted upon staying with him. He lowered the photo, shooting a quick glance towards Emily, who was watching him worriedly. He closed his eyes and Emily leaned forward, watching closely.

He was only out for a few seconds before his heart rate suddenly spiked, Emily standing up immediately, moving quickly to his side, terrified of touching him for fear of something happening. Was it a nightmare? A vision? A panic attack? The nurse ran in, calling his name as Hotch awoke, looking like nothing had happened.

"I'm ok," He breathed, trying to reassure Emily. He wanted to be there for her, wanted to prove that he was strong enough to get through this and still remain as her rock. But as she left the room under direct orders, he was afraid that his stoic demeanour was crumbling, and soon all that would be left would be a broken shell of a man with nobody to turn to.

OoOoOoOo

Emily watched Hotch through the glass, fear pumping through her, overwhelming her. She realised how close he had come to death. How Foyet could have killed him without even batting an eye. The thought terrified her. More than crashing a car, more than being shot by an UNSUB who was too skinny to win in Fight Club, more than anything they had been through, she was scared for Hotch now.

But it wasn't just fear that was running through her. It was something else. Something she had tamped down for so long, for so many months and even years. Memories of his lips on hers, the spark that flared up every time he so much as brushed past her flashed through her mind and suddenly the realisation hit Emily so hard that her head spun and she had to turn away.

She was in love with him. She was in love with her boss. She was in love with Supervisory Special Agent In Command Aaron Hotchner.

And she had it bad. Emily had never felt this way before for anyone. Sure, she'd had a few serious boyfriends but nothing ever _this _serious. And they weren't even in a relationship. Emily's newfound thoughts were sending her into a tailspin, causing her to try and justify her feelings. All she could think of, though, was Hotch being stabbed by Foyet over and over and over again. Her mind flashed between love and panic, tangling into a horrible mess of pain.

She watched Hotch's eyes close as he drifted into a drug-induced sleep. The nurses left and Emily resumed her position beside his bed, trying to will the tears to stop flowing as she silently hoped that this ordeal would end only in the death of Foyet.

'_It would be nice__  
__To hear you say 'you are the one and yes I knew it all along'__  
__I think it would be nice'_

_**2,000 words. I think I did a pretty good job on this one, but I kind of felt like I missed something. No idea what, but ah well. Please review, I absolutely adore them! P.S: The quote at the end it from the song right beneath this.**_

_**Song: Cosmic Ambulance - Lavers**_


	25. We All Fall Down

Episode: Haunted

Emily had visited Hotch every day. Just after work, when she was exhausted and he was alone and in need of someone. He never went out with the team in those days, never saw anyone besides her.

So when she came to his house on the 34th day off, shrugging off her coat and tossing it on the back of the couch, telling him she was driving him in the next day, he had no qualms.

By now, Hotch was used to her. He liked having her around. And she felt the same.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"What do we know about this case in Kentucky?"

"Uh, there's no connection between Call and his victims. Louisville PD's covered the city but there doesn't appear to be any sign of him since uh, he left the pharmacy."

"Check his house? Family?"

"Locals are on it."

"Start with his most recent history. Find the stressor."

Emily noted how Hotch puttered around the room, going back and forth. He seemed slightly nervous, scared for what was to come.

"Don't move," Hotch punched in the number sequence Emily had memorized so long ago. Everyone on the team needed a spare key to everyone else's house as well as their security combination.

They all came in a few days after Hotch's attack with new security codes.

"Ready?'

"Are you?"

Emily knew she was pushing it a bit, but she didn't care. After visiting him daily for a month, she figured she could have some kind of leeway with their relationship, be it professional or otherwise.

Hotch didn't answer, just followed her out the door and stood for a moment on the step outside his door.

"You ok?" Emily asked softly, a few steps ahead of him.

"Fine."

OoOoOoOoO

JJ was smirking at Emily on the plane as she and Hotch sat down. The blonde didn't miss the fact that Emily had offered to drive Hotch to the airport, as well as the fact that she'd visited him every day of his recovery period. Emily hadn't exactly broadcasted it to everybody, but they all knew and were secretly glad their Unit Chief had someone.

As they wrapped up talking about Call, Hotch moved to sit away from the group, choosing a long seat towards the back of the plane. Emily was about to follow when JJ sat down beside her, grinning.

"So, you and Hotch then?"

"JJ!" Emily hissed, almost loud enough for the guys around them to hear. "Shut _up_!"

"Oh, so you admit it then?"

"No!"

"That sounds like a confession."

"It's not!"

JJ continued to smirk at Emily. "You looked at each other for confirmation after you'd spoken back there. You went to his house every day for a month. You went to see if he was ok after Foyet attacked. You're in love with him."

"No, yes, yes, no. I didn't look at him for confirmation, I'm not in love with him."

"Emily, it's ok. It's not like any of us are going to judge you. If you two are happy, we're happy."

Emily shook her head, glancing out the window. "It's not that easy, JJ."

"If it were easy, Emily, you wouldn't go for him."

Emily turned to her friend, surprised by her words. Instead, she found her silently looking over the case file. The brunette turned back towards the window, biting her lip. Maybe she was right.

Maybe.

OoOoOoO

For a moment Emily watched Hotch as he led Darrin to the window, staring out it at the kids running around, oblivious to the monster across the street from them. She saw Hotch turn; pushing the boy out the door and for a fleeting second she swore he met her eyes.

"Let's get Hotch outta there," Emily spoke into her radio, scared for the man who was scared himself.

"That's his call," Rossi replied as Emily gritted her teeth together, trying to see anything that was going on.

Fear flooded through Emily as shots rang out, echoing through the area. She couldn't hear anything except for a light buzzing in her ears, rushing into the house just in time to see Hotch slapping handcuffs onto Call's wrists.

She followed Hotch out immediately, forgetting the case, her mind falling back to the familiar zone of caretaker and protector that she had assumed for the last month.

"Hotch? Hotch!" Emily dashed down the steps, looking around wildly. Her eyes landed on the familiar figure, bent over slightly, turned away from the house and off to the side.

"Hotch, we got Call. The Hollow Creek case is over. This is a win for us," She walked up to him, watching as he turned and faced her.

"Really? Because all I see is 3 people dead, all of them preventable if I had just thought a little more clearly," He shot back, his face hardened as he stared into Emily's eyes.

"You know what I see? A man who solved two cases, one of which open for however many years after a month of being away from duty," Emily's face softened and she relaxed slightly, wanting to reach out and touch him, but refraining. "And you know what? That man is stronger than anyone I've ever known."

Hotch looked like he was about to reply, but an officer interrupted Emily, pointing her towards Tommy.

"There's someone I think you should talk to," Emily spoke softly to Tommy, unaware of Hotch's gaze on her as she stood still for a moment before turning back towards her unit chief. Hotch was glancing back at the house, a strange look in his eyes.

"I meant it, you know," Emily called back. Hotch's head snapped towards her and a small smile played across his lips as he read into the double meaning.

"I know." He replied, his voice just loud enough for her to hear. Emily smiled at him, turning to speak to an officer, watching Hotch out of the corner of her eye.

She had never really stopped watching him.

OoOoOoOoO

"You didn't have to walk me up here, you know."

"I know," The gesture was simple, easy. But not for them. For them it meant so much more.

"So do you think Call's going to be ok?" Emily asked, idly stepping a bit closer to Hotch.

"I don't know."

"He got his answers," Emily looked down, ready to begin pushing again. "Killed the man who haunted him."

She wasn't sure what she wanted, if it was answers or for him to open up, Emily didn't know. She just wanted him to talk to her. They'd talked over the last months. Lots in fact, but never about Foyet. Never about Hayley or Jack or the fact that all of Hotch's life had been ripped away from him.

"And what else is there?"

"Years of torture," Emily replied, softly. She could feel his emotions sliding through him and she wondered if he was going to yell at her or kiss her.

Maybe both.

"Think he'll get over that?"

"How could he?" Emily paused, taking in a deep breath. "But, at least he doesn't have to feel like he's alone anymore."

"He doesn't have anyone," Hotch sounded so defeated, empty.

"He has Tommy. He's not alone," Emily wondered if Hotch truly believed he had nobody.

"Get some sleep," She added as she turned to walk out.

"You too," He murmured, following her to the door, locking it behind her. Emily sighed against the door, spinning slightly on her heel and beginning to walk down the hallway. All of a sudden, she stopped, possessed by a need to say no.

Whipping around, Emily moved back down the hallway quickly, knocking furiously on the door. A few seconds and clicks of locks later, Hotch opened it, only to be forced back as Emily stepped through the door, standing right in front of him.

He looked surprised, but only mildly so.

"You have every right to be sad, Hotch. You have every right to beat yourself up, to cry, to be emotional, and to want to get out there and kill Foyet with your bare hands. But you don't. You haven't and the only thing I can see is you slowly beginning to doubt yourself and the team," Emily took a deep breath, watching the emotionless expression warp slightly across Hotch's face, momentarily showing a pang of some emotion. "And I can't let you do that, Hotch. I can't, in good conscious, stand idly by while you try and convince yourself that all of this is your fault."

"Emily..."

"No, Hotch. I don't want to hear it. Starting tomorrow you are going to wake up _knowing _that none of this is your fault and you will walk through the BAU doors _knowing _that you can beat Foyet."

"But-"

"No buts." And with that, Emily reached up, her arms twining behind Hotch's neck and pulling him down.

"Emily, what are you doing?" He whispered, lips ghosting over hers.

"You said on the plane that without a family Call had no reason to live."

"Yeah, and?" He could barely focus on what either of them was saying as her lips met his slightly, her words forming against his mouth.

"And so I'm giving you a reason."

_**I'm sorry for this. I really am. I realised at the end that I couldn't not end this with a kiss. Ugh, I just don't even know. I still am going to have them get together first episode of season 7 but I don't know what to do with all this sexual tension. Ugh. **_

_**Ok, well, PLEASE REVIEW AND FOLLOW AND RATE AND ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS. Seriously, I love when you review, it makes my day!**_

_**Song: All I Wanna Know – Dear Rouge and Alexandria Maillot**_


	26. Save Me, I Need Someone to Save Me

**A/N: If you're offended by such things, there's a bit of explicit language in this fic. Not copious amounts, but it's in there. **

Episode: Outfoxed

"I'd like to take Prentiss with me."

"Let's go."

Emily tried not to let anything get in the way of the job, but the thought of going away with Hotch for however many days sent a thrill through her that she hadn't felt since...

Since he'd kissed her that first time. Emily bit her lip as they entered the car, beginning to drive off on their way to interview 'The Fox'. It was going to be interesting, to say the least.

OoOoOoOoO

"So why wait a year to send Karl a note? Unless they were communicating the whole time."

"That's the first thing we need to find out," Hotch was quiet. Despite the fact that he and Emily were there for work exclusively, he couldn't help feeling a shiver run down his spine as he spoke to Emily, the way her sweater was tight and fit every curve of her body so perfectly...

"But Karl has a big ego," Hotch looked forward as the elevator stopped. "He's gonna wanna answer every question with a question. He'll try to gain the advantage of me by asking why I'm not wearing my wedding ring and then he will turn his attention to you. "

Emily was slightly stunned at the way Hotch could so easily profile the man. _Although_, she thought to herself, _it wasn't as if he hadn't had ample time to think about his behaviour._

"So that's why you brought me along," Emily responded, dryly. Hotch wanted nothing more than to convince her otherwise. To tell her she wasn't just bait he was dangling there for Karl to try and bite at. But he couldn't, because if he was to be brutally honest, it had been the primary reason.

"Your presence will throw him off guard. And he's gonna wanna describe to you in graphic detail every sexual act he committed to the families."

"To freak me out?" Her voice sounded nervous and Emily barely even minded Hotch teaching her like she had never done this before.

"To pull you into the fantasy."

They shared a look as the next door slid open, Emily suddenly feeling afraid. She'd never really been in such a vulnerable position before and it was... daunting, to say the least.

"Keep your eyes forward," Hotch murmured, his voice soft. It wasn't her ex-Unit chief speaking, but her friend, the one who cared about her wellbeing and would've put it above the case. Emily wondered if that was still the case, or if he'd make her a priority in any situation. "More than anything he's going to want to see the images of the children."

"We can't give him that," Emily's voice darkened, her protective Agent self suddenly breaking through, hardening her against the criminals that lined the walkway the two moved along.

"We have to give him something or we'll get nothing from him."

Suddenly the taunts grew louder, obscenities filling the air, Emily's agent shield beginning to crack. She almost lost it when a body slammed against the wall, scaring her as she tried to remain calm.

"Isn't that, uh..."

"Derek Payne. It's reinforced glass," Hotch's voice was soft again, an apologetic tone running through it.

"Easy for you to say, he tore apart fourteen women."

Hotch glanced over at Emily, then looked down, suddenly feeling terrible. She was obviously scared, who wouldn't be in her position? She had never done anything like this before and suddenly here he was, throwing her in with the worst of the lot.

He'd definitely have to find some way to make it up to her.

They paused before stepping through the doors, Karl sitting down on the other side. He stood as they walked in, eyes barely gazing at Emily before turning to Hotch and raking over him.

"Hello Karl."

"Agent Hotchner," The man replied, standing. "I wasn't informed you were bringing a, uh..." He turned slightly towards Emily, studying her closely. Karl quickly turned his head back to Hotch, as Emily gazed back at him, challengingly.

"They just said two agents."

"This is Agent-" Hotch began, only to be cut off by Karl.

"Emily... Prentiss." Emily paled, her challenging look faltering for a second as Karl smiled. "I know all about you."

OoOoOoOoO

"You'd be astounded at all of the questions my fans ask. I have a log of all of them, would you like to read them?"

"I would love to."

"You would," Hotch clenched his jaw as Karl dragged Emily's words out, the sickness he felt as the man twisted his agent's words astounding. "_love _to?"

His smile was sickening, dark and manic as he continued to speak, only to Emily. "Yes. Here."

Emily raised her eyebrow, leaning forward as Karl too, leaned in, inhaling Emily's scent before Hotch cut him off, taking the file from Karl. The Fox settled back in his chair, eyes flashing as Hotch wondered if sniffing Emily was a justified reason for killing a man.

He thought it qualified.

"Maybe later," Emily shot back breezily, opening the log and beginning to skim, disturbed by the words on the page.

Karl leaned back in his chair, eyeing Hotch with a glare so lethal that the dark haired agent had to return the look, fiercely putting every ounce of hatred into his glare while still trying to not reach across the table and kill him.

Maybe he was getting angrier in his advancing age. Maybe some answers weren't so easy to find.

OoOoOoO

"I can help you with that, Agent Hotchner. I certainly can. But I'll need to see those photos. May I?"

Emily sucked in her breath and turned away from Karl, looking directly at Hotch. "A word?"

"Is there a problem, Emily?"

"There is no problem, Karl." His voice was soft again as the two turned, Emily scooping up the case file. She hated it in that room, hated how she couldn't show emotion of any kind.

Hated that she was afraid of a shackled man.

"We cannot show him these," Emily spoke as they stepped outside the room, Hotch standing close to her as they both glanced through the window for a second.

"These images will be his undoing and our way in," Hotch would've tried pleading, but knew that straight facts would appeal more highly to Emily.

"But they're not just images..." She whispered, staring at Hotch challengingly.

"That's exactly what they are," He replied calmly.

"We can't use Lucy like that."

"It's a trade-off we have to make."

"So we're using a dead 12 year old girl in a bathing suit as a bargaining chip for what?" Emily's voice was a hiss, barely audible.

"To him, it's not just a photograph, it's much, much more and we need to know what."

"I- ah, I... I have never done this before," She threw it out there and

Hotch softened, his demeanour mellowing.

"And you don't have to now," His expression was unreadable but Emily could feel the apologetic air to it, the way he was giving her an out.

"Yes I do."

"Alright. When I feel he's ready to talk, I'll leave the room. You get him talking. Whatever he does, whatever you feel, just stay on top of it. We need to know why he killed those families," They turned, entering the room again, Emily finding herself wishing she could swallow her emotions.

As they were about to enter the room, Hotch motioned for the guard to wait. He turned to Emily, resting his hand lightly on her shoulder.

"Before we go in, when I think we need to get him talking, I'll ask you if you want some coffee. Black and two sugars means you want me on the other side of this door making sure you're ok, cream and sugar means you want me to stay and milk and honey means you're fine on your own. I know you can do this, Emily, but I'm just telling you so we're on the same page."

Shakily, Emily nodded, glad that Hotch was giving her this. It meant a lot to her that, despite the fact she knew he trusted her, he still was offering her a way to stay safe.

Or, as safe as she could be in a room with a serial killer.

"Stand up," Hotch commanded as they entered the room. "You wanna see don't you?"

"Very much."

"We're gonna show you," Emily stood beside Hotch, tensing up slightly as Karl became unshackled. She lay the images down, close to cringing as she looked at them from his point of view.

"This is the home of the Downey family. They had three children."

"How old were the children?"

"12, 9, and 4, a girl and two boys."

"Where were they found?" Emily was glad Hotch was taking the lead on this. Normally she did the cognitive interviews on a case, but this kind of sick recollection was too much for her.

"Over there," Hotch replied, indicating the image on the table.

"Buried?" Karl's smile was feral, a lion stalking his prey. "Interesting."

"Laura, the mother, and the two boys were killed in the house."

"The daughter?"

Emily stared forward, numbness creeping over her. Hotch could sense her discomfort, flipping over new photos of the house this time.

"This is where the mother and the youngest son were killed. The other boy was shot in the bedroom closet."

"Where's the father?"

"Overseas," Emily replied, taking a slight lead. Karl's gaze on her was enough to make her want to shrink back, which she did until she found her arm brushing Hotch's.

"The killer knows this," Hotch spoke, not missing a beat as his senses went into overdrive with Emily's arm brushing against his.

"He knows everything about this family and he watches their every move to be sure he achieves what he needs," Karl chuckled and an identical chill ran through both Hotch and Emily, their blood turning cold. "You have no idea how he knows the father is gone or how he targets these families. And the how... that's the key." Suddenly, a flicker of bitter resentment flashed over Karl, as he continued to speak.

"The _how_ is why _he_ was able to catch _me._" Emily couldn't help feeling slightly impressed by Hotch. If he could catch the Fox, a copycat would be easy enough ... right?

"You watched the families for days..." Emily prompted. Karl frowned at her words.

"Weeks. I got to know them. But not your guy. He doesn't need weeks; if he did, he'd stay longer."

"Why?" Emily could sense a breakthrough, her confusion etched over her face. She was beginning to get the hang of this interview, sensing when to break in or prompt Karl to continue to speak. It scared her a bit that she was slipping into his mind so easily.

"So he can enjoy them," His voice was full of reverie, a longing for what their UNSUB had that he didn't and never would again. It terrified Emily, if she was to be honest. The fact that if, maybe, they hadn't taken this case, he could still be running around.

And then she remembered his copycat was still at large.

OoOoOoOoO

The call came part of the way through the interview. Hotch noted that they were winding down and he'd have to leave soon. He was just about to leave when his phone rang. Hotch pulled it out quickly, hitting the button and glancing at Emily before he answered.

"I'm gonna take this, coffee?"

"Sure, black, two sugars."

Hotch dipped his head, stepping out with a soft, 'Hotchner'. He ducked through the doors, standing on the other side of the glass, watching as Emily's gaze moved from the now closed doors to the man before her.

"He's killed again, hasn't he? Luckily for me."

"Luckily?"

"Now we're alone."

Emily took a deep breath, trying to continue on the track they had been progressing along.

"You stated that the families don't know the killer, why?"

"Now we wait, right? You and I. See if my _admirer _contacts me. He will."

Emily could feel it. The shift in dominance. It had changed when Hotch had left. Nobody there to protect her from his leering. She needed to gain control. She needed to give him what he wanted. Emily's gaze dropped for a second before she sighed softly and began.

"Yours was one of the first cases I studied."

"Really?" She had caught his attention and planned to keep it that way.

"Mhm. I've been fascinated ever since."

"With what?"

"You."

Hotch listened from behind the glass, his eyes unblinking, heart racing. Her voice was so soft, so subtle. It was driving him crazy and not in a good way. For a moment he wanted to barge in there and assume dominance again, fighting for the fact that Emily was his. He knew it was stupid, especially since he had pretty much told her to do this, to flirt with Karl, but still a part of him wished he hadn't chosen her.

He watched Karl smile, a low chuckle leave his throat. Emily, too, glanced down, a soft sound between a laugh and a sigh leave her lips as she glanced away from where Hotch stood, then back to Karl.

"And now," He smiled fully now, seeing through her. "You want to know what I did to the children, don't you?"

"Yes." Barely a whisper.

"I can show you. I can show you exactly what I did to them."

"Tell me," She was using that voice. That voice that drove Hotch crazy. He turned away for a moment, grabbing his phone and dialing up Morgan. He couldn't listen in on this.

Hotch watched the screen as he spoke to Morgan. All he could hear was a faint hum in his ears and the sound of Morgan's voice telling him to stay with Emily and find out what the hell was going on.

He waited for a few minutes before walking in again. Emily had been silent, a battle of wills progressing as Karl and her stared back and forth at each other. As Hotch entered the room, Emily almost jolted, instead turning slightly and glancing up at him, showing no emotion as he entered. Hotch didn't look down at Emily, choosing to stare straight ahead, ignoring her, eyes boring into Karl.

"Karl I never thought that you'd be this honest."

"It takes a good woman to make an honest man. And let's face it, she's prettier than you."

"Karl do you know why you killed all those people?" With Hotch back in the room, Emily felt more powerful, more in control of this man. She wanted to end this and leave.

"I've already told you why."

"No, you told me how, not why."

"And the reasons why in this case were very different than they were for you," Hotch added, quietly.

"Very, very different," Emily sniffed.

"And as you've so frequently been pointing out to Agent Prentiss, all of your motivations were about sex."

"Motivations you learned from your father." Hotch almost grinned as he heard Emily's profiler mind kick into action. Of course, it did help that she wasn't using that voice anymore, but still, he leaned back slightly and enjoyed the view from the passenger seat.

"You really have done your research on me, Emily. I'm flattered."

"You're also filled with feeling of extreme self-hatred."

"Must be distracting working with someone so beautiful," Hotch's heart suddenly started pounding. Had Karl picked up on him and Emily? Had he realised what was going on between them?

"You forced those men to watch their children die," Emily's voice quavered on the word die. "And here's why, Karl, here's why you are what you are."

"What I would do to you..." Hotch wanted to slam his fist on the table, screaming that that was enough. The sickening words of the Viper ran through his mind and suddenly flashes of Emily kissing him whirled around his head and Hotch had to glance away with her next words.

" By killing the fathers last, you were killing your own father, and ultimately yourself, over and over again."

Karl leaned back in his chair, showing no outward signs of emotion that he was grappling for dominance.

"This isn't over, Agent Hotchner. At least, not for you."

Hotch stared at Karl, questions running through his mind. Only when Emily uttered his name, as soft as she had the night they had kissed, did he awake from his reverie.

"For Karl it's all about the fathers. In this case it's all about the girls. They die last, they're laid out last, none of them are shot, none of them show any signs of sexual motive. What if we applied that logic to these killings?"

"Something we hadn't considered."

"Why would we, it's so rare."

"What is?" Karl couldn't help asking, despite the dip in control it gave him.

"The killer's a woman."

"A woman?"

"I'll let Morgan know."

Karl watched Emily leave, eyes trailing her body before Hotch spoke. "Karl just now you said it wasn't over for me. What did you mean by that?"

"You don't see it," Karl winked, dominance re-asserted. "But you will."

OoOoOoOoO

"I don't think this woman has anything to do with Karl." Hotch was leaning lightly on the desk, as Emily sat slumped in the chair beside him. She looked exhausted, completely drained of all emotion and ability.

"I encouraged him. I _flirted _with him. Made it personal." Hotch watched her as she had her moment of breakdown, glad they were in a safe room without anyone around. She needed to do this and wouldn't have with anybody else but him around. "Getting intimate with a killer is _so_ different."

"It's what we do." He couldn't really say much else. Heart to heart conversations? Not his specialty. Especially not on the job.

"Yeah, but... there's no fixing how I feel right now, is there?"

"No," He whispered, eyes never straying from hers as he scanned her face, wondering if he'd be able to help calm her down. "But it helped the case and you did what you had to."

Emily nodded quickly, keeping her eyes down. As the sickly voice of Karl leeched through the microphone, Hotch could feel Emily shrinking back.

"Agent Hotchner? Before you go, there's one final thing I'd like to share with you."

"Let's just get this over with," Emily's voice cracked at the end, almost breaking into a cry. Hotch stepped forward, about to leave through the door before he stopped and turned around, pulling Emily gently in towards his chest. Hotch's head fit perfectly above her as he wrapped his arms gently around Emily's body, her arms coming up to rest lightly between them, palms flat against his dress shirt.

"Hey, it's going to be ok, alright? We're leaving in just a few minutes and then you never have to see him again."

"I'll still see him in nightmares," Emily whispered against his chest, closing her eyes and inhaling Hotch's scent.

"Then I'll be there to wake you up," Hotch frowned, lifting Emily's chin to look up into his face as he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Don't leave me just yet, Agent Prentiss."

She smiled just barely and leaned her head against Hotch's chest for a moment longer.

"Yes, sir."

OoOoOoO

"Your guy is _far _from lost."

"We're done," Hotch spoke flatly, trying to turn and walk away from Karl as soon as he could.

"So is he," Karl held up the small note paper before Hotch, taunting him with it. "Look at what I have done. It's quite brilliant, y'know."

"We will find whoever sent you that note."

"No, Agent Hotchner, I rather think he's already found _you._"

A crease appeared on Hotch's forehead, one Emily had never seen except when he was truly and completely baffled. He grabbed the case file before him, beginning to flip through it as Emily spoke his name warningly.

"I can't believe you can't see what he's doing."

"What is going on?" Emily pleaded, trying to shake Hotch from his silence.

"He's torturing him!" Karl laughed.

"Who?" Emily demanded, but her effect had worn off on Karl, who was basking in the way Hotch was reacting.

"It's great to see you squirm, Agent Hotchner!"

"Foyet..." Emily whispered, as the familiar insignia stared back at her from around Hotch;'s face in the small clipping. It struck a deep-seated fear within her that had been placed there ever since she had seen Hotch in the hospital.

"He knew you'd come!"

The only thing Hotch could hear was the pounding in his ears, the taunts from the men that lined the walls meaningless to him as he moved down the hallway, visions of blood and shivers of pain ghosting over the scars that adorned his chest. He moved through the quickly opening doors, slamming them aside as the guards unlocked them one by one until he was out of the prison, standing outside it in the harsh sunlight yet again.

"Hotch? Hotch!" Emily's voice called for him as she dashed out of the prison, looking for him.

"_**He's taunting me. Fucking taunting me, Emily!**_" Hotch cried, throwing the case file onto the ground and running his hands angrily through his short, dark hair.

"Hotch, it's just that, a taunt. Nothing more. We can catch him if we work the profile a bit harder and then you'll be able to see Jack and Hayley again."

"_**I don't fucking want to catch him, Emily, I want to KILL him. I want to put him through all the pain he's put me through and I want to make him see that I can beat him,**_" Suddenly Hotch stopped his mad pacing, swaying slightly as Emily rushed forward just in time to grab him and slow his collapse onto the ground.

"How do I do it, Em?" He whispered, moving into a sitting position, oblivious to the fact that he'd just called her by a nickname.

"You trust us to help you and find him," She whispered, stroking her hands through his hair gently, her other hand atop his.

"I just... what if something happened to them?"

"Nothing will, Hotch."

"But what if something does?" He looked up at Emily, a pleading look in his eyes, searching hers for the answers she always seemed to be able to give him.

"Then we'll be here for you. That has never changed and never will, Hotch. We're a family and you're as much a part of that as everyone else is."

Hotch closed his eyes, resting his head on the comforting place that was Emily's shoulder. Not long ago, their positions had been reversed after Emily's friend Matthew had died. Countless times they'd gone to each other for help, for support, for a smile or two when they really needed it. His mind flashed to the thought of losing Emily, of her being taken from him and not being able to see her. It panicked him how he felt the same reaction to losing Hayley and Jack. When had they gotten so close? When had she begun to worm her way into his heart and what would he do if she were in trouble? If she died or got injured on a case?

"Can we just... sit here for a moment? I'm not ready to face the team or..."

"Yeah, sure. It's too hot in the car anyway," Emily replied gently, leaning her own head against his.

Hotch opened his eyes, staring ahead, the feeling of Emily's hair tickling his neck and cheek. He realised that it didn't matter how she'd snuck into his mind and heart. It didn't matter when he'd fallen in love with her or how. All that mattered was that she stayed with him.

Which she did. And always would.

_**Ho-ly shit. I cannot believe this is 4000 words. Who knew I had so much to say about this episode? I didn't. I'm not going to write a fic about '100' because even if I don't ship H/H, I always feel sad with that episode. Uh, I don't really know what else to say except PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSE REVIEW! It means so much, really.**_

_**Song: Save Me – We are the Grand **_


	27. Those Feelings I Have Dreams About

Episode: The Uncanny Valley

_**Dedicated to Hannahbananajane, who has written an amazing H/P fic that you ALL need to check out!**_

There was a toy soldier in his cereal.

Hotch prided himself in always being able to wake up fully alert, a side effect to being on the job for so long. But as he stared down at his spoon, which had a small green soldier pointing a gun at his mouth, Hotch wondered if somehow his team had been slipping something into his coffee lately.

The doorbell rang unexpectedly and Hotch dropped the spoon back into his bowl, rubbing his eyes viciously and hoping that he answered the door looking somewhat sane. Twisting the doorknob, Hotch opened it with a huge yawn, frowning when he saw who it was.

"Emily?"

She didn't say anything, just stared at him with her eyes slightly widened, lips parted in an almost-gasp and a single eyebrow raised. Hotch looked down at what he was wearing. A simple white dress shirt, tie loose around his neck and sleeves rolled up. His jacket was sitting on his couch, which he left there until he finished his bowl of god only knew what.

"Uh, come in?" Hotch pulled the door open a bit further and Emily seemed to regain consciousness, blinking and stepping in, beginning to stutter out why she was there.

"I- uh, just wanted to see how you were doing. I didn't have a chance to check in with you after the last case and..."

"Oh, right. Yeah, I'm doing alright. Jack's over here for the first time and-"

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," Emily paled suddenly her head whipping over to the hallway where Jack's room was. "I'll go, I didn't mean to intrude."

Hotch rolled his eyes, pulling back a chair and making his way into the kitchen. "Please, we spent time together last night. I was just about to leave for work. The caretaker comes in to help clean up the place and watch Jack when I'm not home. Jessica'll probably take him in tonight. Want some coffee?"

Emily glanced up from her new seat at the table. She had been examining the stuff on the table, various case files, a half empty cup of juice and a bowl with what appeared to be small green soldiers in it.

"Sure. That's some cereal you got there, Hotch."

He came over with two mugs, setting one down in front of Emily, and then sat down in front of his bowl, sipping quickly at the burning coffee.

"Oh yeah, that. I think Jack got into my cereal. Maybe it's his way of telling me he wants Fruit Loops instead."

"How could you possibly not want Fruit Loops in your house?" Emily stared at him, aghast and Hotch smiled, taking a sip from his coffee.

"Mostly because I looked at the ingredients and I'm pretty sure I had a heart attack right there."

"Pretty sure that's a sign of old age, Hotch."

"Because you're _so _much younger than me," He replied, rolling his eyes.

Emily opened her mouth to retaliate but instead the sound of padding footsteps made her turn around, biting at her lip.

"Daddy?" Jack's voice broke the air and Hotch glanced up too as his son wandered over to him. Emily watched as Hotch's features softened, leaning down to scoop his son into his arms. The boy curled up against his father's form and leaned forward, picking his toys out of the cereal, ignoring Emily completely as he began to play with them.

"Jack? Can you say hi to Miss Emily?" Emily waved nervously, wondering about the protocol for meeting your boss' son. Jack glanced up, his blonde hair messy as he stared at Emily for a moment, the gun noises he had been making ceasing.

"Hi Miss Emily."

Jack looked back down, yawning as he grabbed his soldiers in a fist and dropped them one by one back into Hotch's bowl. They made plunking noises as they fell atop the soggy bits of cornflakes and with each plop, Hotch winced. Emily smiled as he scooped Jack up, walking the sleepy child into his room. Emily's heart fluttered slightly as she heard Hotch's voice speaking softly to Jack from the other room. She was surprised at how different his work self was from his home self, but at the same time, she felt so safe and cozy in here that she almost didn't want to leave.

It pained her when he re-entered the room, sliding his sleeves down and tightening his tie. Already she could see the relaxation melt off his face, replaced by the usual stern look. He grabbed his jacket quickly and held out hers, as she stood and slid her arms into it.

"I'll walk you down to your car," Hotch spoke softly, acutely aware of Jack still in the other room. He drained the last bit of his coffee and placed it back on the table, as Emily zipped up her coat, waiting for Hotch.

As they walked down the hall, Hotch already thumbing quickly through the file, Emily wished she could bring back the version of Hotch she'd just seen. It pained her to see what the job had changed about him and made her almost wish that she could do something to change him back. He nodded his head to her as she got into her car and she waved, driving away as he closed the case file, already running through theories in his head.

OoOoOoO

Emily wasn't sure at what point she realised how tired she was, but she'd been worrying about Hotch for such a long time that after she finished explaining her reasoning for the UNSUB being a woman on the jet, she unconsciously leaned her head slightly on his arm. It was barely a touch, but both of them felt it and a slight jolt went through Hotch as he felt her brush against his arm. He almost couldn't even finish his train of thought; his mind was fixated on the small of his arm. Emily pulled away as Garcia came on the line, the thought of her now redhead friend seeing her leaning on Hotch unpleasant, to say the least.

Nothing happened for the rest of the case, Hotch choosing to pair her with Morgan, as usual. It was a difficult case, made less so by Emily noting that the UNSUB was a woman. It wasn't until the plane ride home that she gathered enough courage to talk to Hotch again.

The darkness of the cabin swept over them, the only sounds being the soft breaths of the team. They had the next day off and all of them were planning on doing lots of nothing. That was why, at about 11 at night, Hotch was madly flipping through papers, signing and writing and reading so he wouldn't have to tomorrow. It was only when Emily slipped into the seat next to him that he looked up, broken from his thoughts.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Hotch asked, looking back down, more distracted as he signed off on some paper he had barely even skimmed.

"Why aren't _you _sleeping? Toy soldiers and coffee aren't enough to prepare someone for an entire day with their kid." Emily returned, taking a few case files and beginning to look over them, taking note to prepare herself in future.

"No, but it helps. And I should finish all this so I don't have to do it tomorrow."

"Or you could do it the next day. Or you could just not bring case files home."

"Or pigs can fly," Hotch replied, giving Emily a look, and then turning back down to his work.

"Pretty sure I saw one just outside like, 20 minutes ago."

"And I thought I was crazy."

"Ok, what will make you come out, forget all about work, and just spend some time with Jack?" Emily wasn't exactly pleading, but she was close, making Hotch lean back and take her question seriously. He paused for a few seconds, contemplating the idea before finally blurting out the only answer that was true.

"Come with us."

"What?"

"Come with us. To the park. Not tomorrow, but some other time."

"Really?" Emily was awestruck. Was Hotch actually asking her to join him for his little time with Jack? After Foyet he'd become so protective over the boy that the team had been a bit worried, trying to get him to come out a bit more often. While Jack didn't see his dad too often, he still needed his own room to grow and not be smothered by his father.

But this. This was kind of, sort of ... _huge_.

"Yeah, I think he likes you."

"He said 3 words to me, Hotch."

"Fine, I think he could _grow _to like you."

Emily bit her lip, studying Hotch's face, which had turned back to the paperwork yet again. She was so overcome with thought that she didn't know what to say for a few seconds.

"Okay."

It was Hotch's turn to look up, slightly surprised. He smiled, a look that made Emily just want to melt then and there.

"It's a date."

Emily flashed him a small smile, and then adjusted herself so she was in a more comfortable position to sleep. Hotch continued his paperwork, stopping only when he felt Emily's head resting on his shoulders. He didn't look up, only grinned to himself, continuing to write, ignoring the small stain in the page from his pen bleeding through the page.

With a steady hand and an unsteady mind, Hotch finished signing off on his last piece of paperwork with a flurry of his wrist, leaning back and closing his eyes with a gentle sigh.

_**Never Thought I'd See the Day - The School**_


	28. The Very Moment I'm Aware That I'm Alive

Episode: The Fight

It wasn't as if Hotch had _meant _to throw her at Mick. Hell, if you would have asked him, he'd have told you he was just pairing them up because they were both capable agents.

And then Mick Rawson, who Hotch was beginning to become less and less fond of, saves Emily from a gunshot to the head and Hotch has to step forward and join the conversation as Cooper is yelled at by Strauss to dismiss the thoughts of Emily and Mick running through a field together with a large union jack flapping behind them in the breeze.

Not if he could help it.

So as a slight screw you to Strauss, but mostly a Get Mick Bloody Rawson Away From Emily Prentiss, Hotch suggested they all go to a bar. And when they all eyed their beers slightly, Hotch rolled his eyes and told them that by bar he meant club. And when they still looked slightly dejected, he told them he'd buy the first round.

JJ cheered. As in, literally, _cheered _right in his ear. Emily almost did the same, but stopped herself as Reid began citing facts about the amount of people who are statistically kidnapped in clubs.

Rossi tapped him over the head with his beer bottle and Reid promptly stopped reciting facts long enough for Hotch to grab the keys and make sure Emily was riding with him and not Rawson. Score: 1 for Hotch, 0 for Rawson.

At least, if you didn't count the whole saving her life thing.

The club (that a certain British agent who will not be mentioned brought them to) was packed, leading the two teams to be forced to sit, cramped, in a small corner booth. Hotch wasn't complaining though, as he felt himself get pressed up against the side of Emily. He wondered how weird it'd be to wrap his arm around her.

Purely for comfort. His arm was kind of elbowing her anyway.

Instead, though, the teams pushed and tugged him out of the booth, ordering him over to the bar to get drinks. Rossi followed him, carefully stepping around the gyrating bodies, wrinkling his nose, annoyed. He'd never been one for clubs and even though the rest of the teams seemed to be enjoying themselves, that didn't mean he had to.

"So how's operation Date Emily coming along?" Rossi prompted, not-so-subtly as Hotch ordered the first round. He turned towards his friend, frowning, and began to protest quickly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Right. Of course. Hypothetically, though, if you were in love with her, tonight would be a good time to make a move."

"Hypothetically, though, she has someone else on the mind at the moment I think."

"Rawson? Please. You can out-alpha him any day."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

"No, a fact. Now go get the girl, Aaron.

"While the girl has a man sitting beside her making her laugh who just saved her life and also happens to be British?"

"Is the great Aaron Hotchner jealous?"

"No."

Rossi beamed at him as the drinks were served up. He slid two over to Hotch, nodding towards Emily, who was now in deep conversation across the table with Gina.

_Good. _Hotch thought to himself as he ambled over. _At least she isn't talking to Rawson._

"Oh thank _God. _I was beginning to think you were just playing us when you said you were buying," Emily glanced up at the dark haired man, who dropped himself into the space beside her.

"Now why would I do that?"

"To buy our affection?" Emily suggested saucily, raising the drink to her lips.

"Oh you wound me," Hotch returned sardonically, as the rest of the team [those who were still in the booth and not dancing] got their drinks.

"Aw, do you need a kiss?" Emily fake-pouted and Hotch tipped his head to the side, raising his eyebrows slightly, smirking behind his drink as he sipped. She rolled her eyes, glancing over to the dance floor where Morgan now swayed, surrounded by a group of women (and a few men).

"Someone's enjoying themselves."

"Mhm," Hotch murmured his assent, his own fingers dancing over hers, wondering if he could pull her up and dance, but still appear as if he didn't have feelings for her.

_ Maybe it wasn't such a great idea._ He thought to himself, decidedly twining his fingers with hers below the table, stealing a small glance as Emily's eyes continued to roam the dance floor, a tiny smile curling at the edges of her mouth.

"Hey, Emily, did I ever tell you about the time I almost shot the President?"

Goddamn it, Rawson.

"What!?" Emily turned towards the Brit, grinning in anticipation of the story. Her hand stayed twined in Hotch's, but he could feel her attention slipping and he didn't like it.

Not. One. Bit.

So he listened, bristling with every word uttered from the man's lips, with every laugh and smile from Emily.

His hand remained locked around hers and he felt a small squeeze on it at some point during Rawson's story, momentarily easing his anger.

But was it anger? His eyes moved away from Rawson, directly meeting Rossi's, who smirked at the Unit Chief and blatantly raised his left hand (the one that Hotch had curled around Emily's) and scratched his nose.

"Hey, Pren- Emily, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Emily turned towards Hotch, effectively cutting off Rawson's story, a crease forming on the man's forehead.

"Uh, yeah, sure," She turned back to Rawson, giving him a sympathetic smile. "Sorry, duty calls. I'll be sure to hear the ending eventually."

Hotch tugged on her hand, letting go of it immediately after as he slid out of the booth and moved swiftly through the mass of bodies and out the back door of the club. Emily followed in his wake, stepping outside soon after him.

"Hey, what's this about?"

"What's going on with you and Rawson?"

"Uhhh, we're talking...?" Emily raised a skeptical eyebrow, studying Hotch's blank face.

"No, I mean like-"

"Oh jeez. Hotch, _please _tell me you aren't jealous of _Mick_," Emily sighed, wrapping her arms around herself, shivering in the cold.

"I'm not jealous of anyone, why do you all keep saying that?"

"You all?

"You and Rossi."

"Ah."

They stood in silence for a few seconds, Hotch sliding his jacket off and putting it around Emily's shoulders as she smiled gratefully and leaned over, Hotch tugging her into a hug.

Purely for warmth. It was silly of him to bring her out here in the cold.

_Yes,_ Hotch sighed to himself as Emily pressed against his chest, his arms wrapping protectively around her. _Silly._

He leaned down, analyzing the soft curves of her body in spite of the sharp angles of his jacket around her shoulders.

"Emily," Hotch breathed, the name making a halo of ghost-like air swirl around her head, dissipating within seconds.

"Hmm?" She breathed, a second puff of air floating from her mouth as she raised her face to his. His hands crept up, finding the familiar spot on her chin, moving of their own accord now. It was all so familiar, a movement they'd done before, so many times, too many times.

His lips were so close to hers that he could feel the quiver of her breaths as she spoke. He could feel the soft texture against his own lips and it was making him crazy. But he stopped. Because she said his name.

"Emily?"

"Hotch we... can't do this."

He sighed. "I know," was his soft reply, lips pulling from hers. He really did know, but the desire, the _temptation _was more overwhelming than he'd ever felt before.

When he got home that night after being forced to take his jacket back and follow Emily inside, trying to remain stoic as Rawson greeted Emily on her return, he would reflect upon that moment. When they had been so close, yet so _very _far.

He knew, deep down, that if he had kissed Emily Prentiss that night in the cold air with their words swirling above them, he wouldn't have regretted it. He knew that if he had kissed Emily Prentiss that night in the glow of the neon club sign, wearing his emotions on his sleeve, he wouldn't have stopped.

_**Chocolate – Snow Patrol**_

_**Again, dedicated to HannahBananaJane! All my best wishes go out to you and I hope you enjoy this latest chapter! Don't worry, I'm still pondering that oneshot request! **_

_**To other readers: If you have suggestions for a good undercover oneshot with H/P then PLEASE send ideas my way in any form! Thanks for reading.**_


	29. When All You Want is Friends

Episode: Exit Wounds

"Looks like we'll have to double up," Hotch kept his face blank as he scanned the faces of his team.

"I'm not sleeping with Reid."

"Dibs," Garcia responded, grabbing Morgan's hand.

"I'm not going with Emily," JJ sighed, looking up from her spot on the couch. "She talks in her sleep."

"Does she?" Rossi glanced over at Emily, who rolled her eyes. "What does she say?"

"Oh it's all just gibberish. At least, except for the stuff about men. Wow, did I ever learn a lot about this one guy who-"

"OKAY," Emily cut in, not making eye contact with Hotch. She knew his eyes would be fixed on her and she knew that if she looked at him she would freeze up. "So who's bunking with whom?"

"I call the one single room," JJ replied, picking up her suitcase and bringing it upstairs. Emily glanced back at the remaining three men who she could room with. One definitely stood out more than the others.

"I'm not bunking with Rossi," Emily sniffed, scanning the last two men with thought. "Or Reid."

"What, why me?" Reid cried, his gaze flickering between Emily and Rossi.

"Sorry, Genius Boy, Derek told me about your dirty little secret of reciting formulas to get to sleep at night. And Rossi, you mutter in Italian. As far as I know, Hotch doesn't do either of those things and is probably neater than you two anyway."

And with that decided, Emily grabbed her own suitcase, brushing past Hotch with a smirk at the dumbfounded and awestruck look on his face.

It was going to be a long night.

OoOoOoO

Emily stepped out of the bathroom to the rather appealing sight of Hotch in a t-shirt. Of course, she'd seen him in a t-shirt before, but there was just something about the single layer between her and that chest that looked hard enough to bounce a freaking quarter off of that she just couldn't shake.

"So who gets the floor?"

"As the leader of this team I think it's only fair that I be very well rested and on my game to the best of my ability."

"Nice try," Emily snorted, rolling her eyes. "You can't play the leader card when the suit comes off."

"But I'm still the AIC!" Hotch's face was almost in a pout and Emily had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the mental picture of him throwing a tantrum.

"And I'm still the lady here and therefore get priority."

"No way," Hotch raised his eyebrows at Emily, a smirk playing across his face. "Are you really playing the damsel in distress act? It's going to be a few nights sleeping on the ground or on a sofa. You're hardly going to die."

"No but the ebbing guilt and shame that you made me sleep on the floor while you got this nice, soft bed will destroy you and probably drive you to drink."

"Thanks but I sleep like a baby and don't dream. No terrible gnawing guilt for me."

Emily was about to reply that she was pretty sure dreamless sleep and a lack of guilt was a common trait among serial killers when a knock on the door made the pair look up, glancing at each other, Hotch moving to the door. As he opened it, the figure of Rossi looking positively irate as he leaned in the doorway, eyes flashing and nostrils flaring, growled into the room at large,

"_Justgoddamnsleepinthesamebed ._" He spoke quickly, almost unintelligibly and before either of the pair could comprehend him, he had already turned to enter his room. But being who he was, as an afterthought, he called behind him, not giving a damn who heard,

"Or I _swear to god I will force you_!"

The silence was even more than deafening.

"Do you think they all heard us arguing?"

"Probably."

"I don't think either of us is going to sleep on the floor, are we?"

"Doubtful."

"Left or right side?" Hotch was thrown by Emily's question, but as she dropped onto the left side, whether she preferred that side or somehow knew that Hotch liked the right better, all that was left to do was lie down and get some sleep.

He was nervous as he slid into the bed, immediately rolling over and facing away from Emily's body. Hotch knew that nothing was going to happen, but her warmth was inviting and suddenly he was wondering why he was only in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

It _was _Alaska after all. The cold was numbing and he wanted desperately to cling to Emily's warmth. Purely because of the cold, obviously. Hadn't he leant her his jacket just a little while ago?

But suddenly all thoughts flew out of his mind as Emily rolled over, making small sounds as she slept. Slept. She was already asleep? He hadn't been lying when he'd said that he slept like a baby, but it did take him a long time to get to sleep. Hotch had always been plagued with over thinking and analyzing and generally all the things that made him a great profiler.

But damn if they made it hard for him to get to sleep at night.

Take right then for example, what with Emily curled up into a ball beside him, making soft sounds and whispery little murmurs as she slept, completely oblivious to the effect it was having on Hotch right then.

But what could he do? He had to admit, the idea of kissing her so hard that those adorably fantastic noises she was making stopped had a rather appealing air to it. But then again, kissing someone in bed late at night had the kind of strings attached manner that Hotch most definitely did _not _want to imply.

So he settled for lying there, purposely facing away from the woman with the dark hair and the big eyes and the skin that he just knew was practically shimmering in the moonlight that was streaming through the window and oh god...

He was almost glad when Morgan came to the door, so panicky about Garcia and another victim was he that he didn't even notice Emily still sleeping in the bed that exactly 1 and a half minutes earlier, Hotch too had been occupying.

"Okay, thanks Morgan. Make sure Garcia's alright and I'll wake up Emily. Gather the police and meet us at the crime scene in 15."

Morgan dipped his head, trying desperately to take his boss seriously in a tight black t-shirt and sweatpants. When Hotch firmly closed the door to Morgan's face, he barely made it down the stairs before cracking up, much to Garcia's chagrin.

Fortunately his description of their boss lightened her mood a bit.

Hotch pressed his lips together, creeping onto the bed and leaning over Emily to check for signs of her being awake. Sensing none, he sat back and shook her very lightly. A soft grumble of protest caused his heart to begin thumping heavily, his mind beginning to wander as he shook Emily's arm again, his own hand trailing down to meet hers where it lay hidden under her face and propped up on the pillow.

"Wake up, Agent Prentiss, I do believe we have another case to solve."

Emily mumbled something that sounded akin to, "Should've bunked with JJ." But as Hotch grabbed his suit from earlier and went to the washroom to change, he heard the familiar noises of Emily waking up.

Hotch wondered if he would have legitimately been able to survive the next few hours until daylight.

OoOoOoO

"I think you're giving this guy more credit than he deserves. It's like Emily said on the plane, he's all over the place. The victimology's inconsistent, the methodology's evolving, the first kill was sloppy, hesitant and unplanned."

Emily winced as Hotch said her first name, glancing around at her teammates, ready to defend him with the fact that it was still quite early in the morning. She was glad to see that none of them seemed affected by his words, instead choosing to continue to listen.

"It'll be light soon, let's uh, get everybody together and go over what we know." Hotch looked up at Emily, who dipped her head, falling into position behind him. After only a few moments of scuffling after each other, though, Derek grabbed Emily's annoyingly puffy sleeve and tugged her off to the side. He glanced back quickly, but Hotch and Rossi were in deep discussion and Reid was off in his mind palace, trailing behind the two slowly.

"Were you planning to kill me via frostbite or...?"

"Some sleepover, hm?"

Emily rolled her eyes and was about to cut him off before his raised his hand to stop her.

"Emily, I'm not blind." Derek paused; deciding to get down to the brunt of what he was saying right off the bat. "And I can see what's going on between you and Hotch."

Before Emily could protest, though, Derek cut her off again and continued. "I'm happy for you, ok? But I don't want to see you getting hurt."

"Derek, I don't know how to say this but... nothing's happening between us. We're just friends and yes, maybe there's a little bit of mutual attraction there, but there is nothing set in stone. "She snorted. "And certainly no hurting going on."

Derek paused, studying Emily for a moment longer before turning and beginning to walk slowly back to the lodge.

"You sure?" He asked softly, touching Emily's sleeve one more time. She pressed her lips together, glancing over at Hotch who was now staring up at the sky, roughly running his hand over his faint 5 o'clock shadow. He looked like he was distressed, which was absolutely nothing new to him.

"Yeah, positive."

The lies flowed slower than they had at first.

OoOoOoO

"Aaron, you are the truest form of an idiot if there ever was one." Rossi stepped forward beside Hotch, looking back quickly to see Derek pulling Emily off to the side as they departed the newest crime scene.

"Hey remember that time you were nice to me?" Hotch gave Rossi a sideways look. "Me neither. Stop starting our wonderful rom-com heart-to-heart chats with calling me names."

"I thought it was the truth."

"I'll have you know I am the Agent in Command of one of the most elite units of the FBI."

"I know. I heard you bring that up in your little dome of domestic bliss."

"What's your point, Dave?" Hotch was getting irritated by the self-righteous air of Rossi's words.

"You're both in love with each other." It was a statement, not a question so Hotch let it pass with no denial or acceptance of the fact. Rossi continued.

"You're so in love with each other that all I can really say is don't screw this one up, Hotchner. Ask her before its too late."

"I know all that, Dave, thanks."

"I heard her and JJ talking about Mick Rawson on the plane."

"Yes, I'd think you of all people would know that women occasionally talk about men, Dave."

"JJ was trying to get her to ask him out for drinks or something."

"Oh?" Hotch's interest was piqued, to say the least.

"Emily continuously shut her down. No explanation why except that he was arrogant."

"God knows she never has to deal with that at the office," Hotch deadpanned, giving Rossi a glare.

"Ask her out, Hotchner."

"Mind your own business, Rossi."

The older man raised his hands in defeat, turning to talk to Reid about the case while Hotch turned away, staring up at the sky for a few seconds, feeling a contemplative mood overtake him. Everything Dave had said was true. Every damn detail and the man wasn't shy in any way about waving it in Hotch's face. He bit his lip, lowering his gaze to Emily who was currently talking on her satellite phone, probably to JJ.

A sigh escaped his lips and rose with a puff in the air. Friends. Friends is what they were and friends is what they would be. Friends.

He turned away, calling the police and his team to meet in the main part of the motel, wondering to himself for the millionth time if he had lost his chance.

_In a bullet-proof vest__  
__with the windows all closed__  
__I'll be doing my best__  
__and I'll see you soon__  
__and in a telescope lens__  
__and when all you want is friends_

_**See You Soon – Coldplay**_

_**I AM SO SORRY THIS UPDATE TOOK SO LONG. I just randomly got no new inspiration and the only thing that prompted me to finish this chapter today was the Tumblr page HotchandEmily. It's great, go check it out! Anyway, I included those lyrics at the end because I really wanted to make the chapter title something to do with bullet proof vests and I'm still mad about the idea so I think I'll change the Fic name to 'In a Bullet Proof Vest'. PLEASE TELL ME IF THAT CHANGES ANYTHING IN RELATION TO THE PEOPLE FOLLOWING THIS FIC, I HAVE NO IDEA (Like if I change the name, if it makes it so people have to re-follow it). **_

_**Anyway, as usual I want to thank you all for bearing with me and this fic. I love you all and it would mean a lot if you reviewed! Seriously though, I live for those things.**_

_**Ta!**_


	30. I Try Out a Smile and I Aim It At You

Episode: Compromising Positions

"He's in the middle of the bar, there's no way to take him down without risking collateral damage." Derek jogged down the stairs, shaking the SWAT agents off his flank. He had never enjoyed bodyguards.

"If we go in there he'll start shooting up the place." Emily's face was pale in the bare lighting coming from the club's neon sign. Music floated out from within the walls, distracting none of the three agents standing huddled together.

"He'll do that anyway. This guy's looking for a spark." Derek watched as Emily pulled her gear off quickly, handing it to Hotch who looked as surprised as Derek was.

"Then we need a distraction."

"What are you doing?" Hotch held the supplies as Emily huffed out an exasperated sigh.

"He's gone back to his old patterns. He wants to play the game he played with his wife." The explanation was weak, full of holes but it was the best plan they had with so little time.

"Debra Wilson played that game and it got her killed, Prentiss." Derek pleaded, hoping to sway his partner.

Emily dipped her head at Derek, cut off from saying anything by Hotch's authoritative voice.

"Alright, keep his focus off the crowd long enough for us to take him down." The slight waver in his voice barely showed the fear and teeth-grinding annoyance Hotch felt at Emily having to play undercover again.

"You guys better have my back." She scoffed, voice shaky.

"We will."

Derek dipped his head, turning to dash back up to the SWAT agents and explain their plan of attack. Hotch glanced down at the vest in his hands then back up at Emily who was staring at the club doors, mentally prepping herself.

"You know, you don't have to do this," Hotch paused a second as Emily swivelled her head, frowning at him. "Well you don't. There are other ways to get James, you know."

"Of course I know, I'm thinking of them all now," Emily returned, looking back at the building. After an awkward beat, she glanced back at Hotch whose face was creased in worry.

"But all of those would be less effective. I can handle this for as long as it'll take you guys to get in position." She smirked up at him, flashing her teeth in the pale moonlight. "Unless you'd like to seduce him?"

"Funny, Prentiss."

"I try, sir."

Hotch shook his head, folding up the vest and gun and turning to check up on Derek who was still explaining his directions.

"You'll probably go into the club in 5. Can you be ready by then?" Hotch glanced down doubtfully but seeing the look on Emily's face, his doubts disappeared, leaving him trying not to smile at the annoyed look on her face.

"I'm _always _ready to hit on random strangers in clubs, Hotch."

OoOoOoO

Hotch paced the club, ignoring the few woman who moved in close to him, attempting to pick him up with annoying lines and cheap perfume. Music blared, the sound in his bad ear slightly muted and fuzzy. But none of it mattered as Emily ran a hand through her hair, stepping forward and engaging James in conversation. There was no way for Hotch or Derek, who was halfway across the club, to hear what was being said, but the body language spoke for itself.

"Don't take your eyes off of her, Morgan. Don't even blink." Hotch growled into his watch, gaze never wavering from the red shirt and slight figure. A chuckle came across his earpiece along with a cheerful, "Yeah, okay, man."

Hotch paused, glancing around the corner to where Emily was, leaning casually against the bar. In any other situation he would have been almost falling over himself staring at her smile but one glance at James' stance and Derek's piercing gaze forced him to stand rigid, eyes focussed on the UNSUB and Emily as the interacted.

Across the room, however, Derek's eyes were trailing back and forth lazily between Emily and Hotch. The possessive alpha behaviours his Unit Chief were exhibiting rivalled Derek's own, something he would definitely be laughing about with Garcia later. A pang of sadness shot through him as he realised that Garcia wouldn't be able to pull JJ down to talk after the case was over. Derek sighed, toying with his straw. Guess they'd have to settle with making fun of Pretty Boy.

James stepped away, hand raised like he was getting defensive. For a moment Hotch and Derek were poised, but both calmed as they watched Emily smoothly transition him back to casual. The two men's eyes met across the room and both breathed a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, the conversation between Emily and James slowed, the man finally turning towards the agent, eyes fixated on her. His hand raised into his jacket pocket and Emily's face dropped into a frown, her body frozen in place.

"Move." The word didn't even need to be said, but Hotch felt instinct take over as he rushed forward, time slowing to a fraction of a second as his mind conjured up images of Emily being shot right before him.

For a moment everything was a whirlwind of activity, Emily's face in the center of it all, stricken by the fact that someone had just died before her very eyes. Hotch pulled her away from the club, taking her out into the night air again and waiting for her to calm down.

"You ok?" Hotch's breath puffed out in front of him, a cloud of words that floated up between him and Emily.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

The barest trace of a smile played across Hotch's lips as he answered wryly, "Well you did just watch a man get killed."

"Yeah, but he wasn't a very nice man." Emily licked her lips, opening her eyes and looking up at Hotch who shrugged his jacket off and handed it to Emily who took it gratefully.

"He did seem to be a pretty terrible date."

"Married men usually do make the worst boyfriends, or so I've been told." Emily deadpanned as Hotch stifled a laugh, turning his head away and looking up and watching James' body be taken away.

"You know, I really don't mind cases like this very much, Hotch." Hotch turned, looking back down at Emily.

"Cases like what?"

"Just ones that involve me going undercover. I trust you and whoever else has my back. I promise I won't die on a case." A smile turned the corners of Emily's mouth and Hotch had to bite his cheek not to smile back.

"But I care. Death's always a possibility for this job."

"Which is why you should stop freaking out when I take these cases." Emily raised a challenging eyebrow and Hotch relented, dipping his head.

"As long as you try to avoid doing undercover cases."

"I will if you try and smile more often." Hotch snorted at that, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah right, Prentiss."

"One can only hope, sir."

_**The Writer – Ellie Goulding**_


	31. Won't You Let Your Red heart show?

Episode - Valhalla

Hotch froze as he watched Emily turn and walk out of the room. For a moment all thoughts ceased and he couldn't continue speaking. The profile stopped as Hotch could only stare helplessly after Emily as she pushed through the doors towards the elevators.

"Now, our agents have some specific information regarding Doyle which is being handed out right now..." Hotch jerked his head to the side as Rossi transitioned the profile smoothly, leaving Hotch to do something about his most important agent leaving. Ignoring the confused glances from the task forces, he pushed through the crowd of people and through the doors, moving swiftly through the lobby and into the elevators just in time to meet up with Emily as she waited.

"Hotch don't you need to finish the profi- What are you doing?" Emily tried to reach forward to stop Hotch as he pressed the emergency stop button on the elevator but was silenced as he whirled around to face her, his eyes flickering with anger and fear.

"Emily, just what the _hell _do you think you're doing?"

The agent in question rolled her eyes, leaning back and squaring her shoulders as she faced Hotch. "I was under the impression that I was taking an elevator. Or is that a crime?"

"No, but leaving halfway through a profile seems odd, don't you think?"

"Maybe I don't enjoy looking at people shot point blank."

"You've seen it before. Look, Emily," Hotch rubbed at his temple, tilting his head to the side as he watched Emily. "I'm worried about you, and yes, I know that the others have been asking you how you are. And I know what you said to them. And I know it was a lie."

Emily narrowed her eyes, opening her mouth as she tried to begin to deny what Hotch said but was stopped as he put a finger to her lips and continued.

"I'm not asking for the truth. All I want you to know is that you've been acting strange since... well, since the morning after you went salsa dancing." A smile toyed at his lips as he continued. "We're all worried about you, me most of all, and if there's anything I can do for you then just-"

"No." Emily stared right at him and shook her head slowly. "I can't ask you to do that."

"You wouldn't be asking me to do anything, Emily. I'd be doing it for you."

Emily swallowed, trying to mask her realisation that Hotch was literally standing there, barely an inch away from her and telling her he'd do whatever she asked to keep her safe.

"Hotch y- you don't know what you're saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying."

"No, you don't!" Emily bit out the words angrily, balling her fists at her side, fingernails digging into her palm.

Hotch recoiled a step, watching Emily's face as her expression warped from angry to defeated.

"I don't know what you're hiding." His hand slid down, wrapping around her waist and suddenly Hotch needed to protect her. Needed to shield her from everything that was beating at her walls and threatening to destroy her. "I don't even know how much you know about this case. But do you know what I do know?"

Emily's head rested against Hotch's chest and didn't move, leaving a few seconds of silence before Hotch continued to speak.

"I know that right now all I want is for you to get better and go back to who you were before. I want you to be okay and I _really _want to stay here until you can promise me those things."

"I want all that too but... as the Rolling Stones rightly pointed out, we can't always get what we want."

"We can get this. I don't know what's on the other side of those doors for you but I know what's on this side of the doors. I also know that what's on this side of the doors will never give up on you."

What happened next wasn't desperation. It wasn't a plea to stay and it wasn't pointless hope. Emily lifted her head slowly, eyes reaching Hotch's, seeking them out as her hand raised up and traced the length of his arm, skimming over his shoulder and pulling his head down to meet hers. Lips met lips in the blink of an eye and eyes fell closed, so lost were the two in the moment. It wasn't desperation, it was a promise. One that spoke both the agent's emotions and forced them to wear their hearts on their sleeve. Again and again their mouths met, all the pent up emotions draining out and Hotch would realise later that this was when he should have said it. This was when he should have pulled away and whispered the three words he had kept inside for 4 years. But he didn't. Instead the elevator lights flickered on and with a shudder the creaky device began to move again. It reached the bottom floor in seconds and then Emily was gone, out the door and off with such an air of finality that all Hotch could think was,

_We never did go to the park._

Red Heart – Hey Rosetta!


	32. I Move Slow and Steady Past Ones I Knew

Episode - Lauren

The hospital had that same antiseptic smell to it, filling Hotch's nostrils and clogging his mind with blurred images of Emily, bruised and bloody. A twinge of pain licked up his side as if he could actually feel her pain. For a moment he paused in front of her room, staring at the window that peered into the tiny private room and gave Hotch a direct view of Emily's face as she lay there.

She was awake, of course. Not even a table leg to the chest could stop her. Awake and reading what looked like a Vonnegut book. Hotch smile in spite of himself, pushing the door open and walking over to Emily's side. He sat when he realised that she was so entranced in the book that she hadn't even noticed him come in, studying her features and noting how, even in an ugly hospital gown and with bandages everywhere and bruises colouring her body like paint stains, she was beautiful.

"Good book?" Emily jumped in her spot, whipping around to face Hotch and consequently wincing in pain.

"Ow. Yeah, I got it as a present from De-" Emily stuttered to a stop, looking down at the book with a look of such pained longing that Hotch reached out, taking her hand in his own.

"How are you? And I don't just mean physically."

"How would you be? I'm alright considering everything but I don't know how I'm supposed to continue after this. I mean, Doyle's still out there. What am I supposed to do?" Emily pleaded softly, the book falling to the side, forgotten. Hotch ran his thumb over Emily's hand and spoke gently, the plan sounding painful upon his tongue.

"We- I realised that if Doyle thought you had actually died then it would buy us time."

"Ok, sure, but how do we do that? I mean, I can't just continue living my life and still pretend to be- Oh." Emily faltered and Hotch raised his head to look at her and figure out what she thought of his plan.

"So... I'd die. For as long as it took."

"We can get you passports and money. Anything you need, really. We'll pass it off as medical and funeral expenses."

"Hotch you've already done so much..."

"And I'm not about to let you die just because I want you to stay."

"But I will be dead," Emily smirked. Hotch didn't return her smile, instead choosing to run his hand through his short hair and continue.

"So are you alright with this?"

"No," Emily's reply was swift and predictable. "But... if it helps you guys stay safe then I'll do anything."

Hotch nodded wearily and leaned back, hand falling from Emily's as he took everything in.

"You look like you haven't slept in a long time." Emily observed as Hotch straightened up in his chair.

"I haven't. Death does that to a person. "

Emily opened her mouth to respond but found she had nothing to say. Instead there was silence for a few minutes as the two tried to process everything. Emily was the first to break the silence.

"You didn't just fly all the way out here to wherever the hell I'm being sewed up just to ask me if I'm ok with dying."

"No, I didn't. I came to say goodbye."

"You flew all the way out here just to say a goodbye?"

"Not just a goodbye," Hotch leaned down, hand running faintly over the bruises that decorated Emily's face. She ignored this, reaching up with as much strength as she could muster and pulling Hotch down, meeting him in the middle, lips touching with such familiarity that it jolted Emily back to each time this had happened. The kiss, in itself, was no different than any other but just the fact that this was goodbye kept them both hanging on until the last moment.

"I... have to go. The team can't know why I've been gone so long."

"I understand. " Emily tugged him down one last time, ignoring everything screaming that it was a bad idea.

Again, the whispery voice spoke up in the back of Hotch's mind, telling him to say the 3 words over and over.

_I love you I love you I love you_

"Emily, I-"

"I know. Goodbye, Hotch."

Closing his eyes, Hotch turned and left the room, instincts crying out for him to go back. But he had to leave. He couldn't stay any longer.

_**Slow and Steady – Of Monsters and Men**__**Slow and **_


	33. Lost When the Wind Blows, On Your Own

Episode - The Stranger

Derek watched Hotch as his Unit Chief's head dropped down to his chest. There was a beat of silence and then Hotch's hoarse voice broke through it.

"I know you knew. I know that everyone knew but nobody's talking about it and I just wish that someone would speak up."

Derek dipped his head and sighed gently, not meeting Hotch's eyes.

"We didn't say anything because we didn't want to intrude."

"Right. You and Rossi definitely didn't plan out anything." Hotch rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair, annoyed.

"We did. And neither of us regrets it. You two deserved each other and we wanted you two to be happy."

"Happy. You think I'm _happy _now?"

"I think that if things had gone differently than you would have been."

"Key words: If things had gone differently."

"We didn't do it to hurt you, we did it to help you because you seriously needed to loosen up."

"Morgan, I never said-"

"It didn't need to be said."

Hotch closed his eyes, looking away from Derek as he did.

"We didn't know this would happen. There was no way to predict that Emily would have gotten caught up in all this and we wanted you to be able to live the life you once did."

"I'll never have the life I once did. For some reason someone or something out there decided that the only thing I'd ever have would be this job."

"What about Jack?"

"What about him? I see him maybe twice a month if I'm lucky." Hotch finally looked up, meeting Derek's eyes with such an air of raw finality that it stung the other man.

"I fell in love with Hayley in high school and she was killed because of this job. I realised I'd fallen in love with Emily at the compound with Cyrus and she was killed because of this job too. Everything I love is taken from me and all I can do is put my head down and keep doing this godforsaken job."

And with that, Hotch stood, turning away from Derek and rushing out of the door without a word, leaving the other man to bite his lip in thought and wonder just how such a great man could be so defeated.

_**Only the Young – Brandon Flowers**_


	34. It Scared You To Let Go

Episode: It Takes a Village

Darkness crept over the bullpen as Emily walked in. She sat down at her old desk, vacant except for a computer that had been wiped of all information. With an exhausted sigh, Emily leaned back in her chair and rubbed at her face. It had been a long day of hellos and goodbyes and she wasn't even sure where she could go to now. Hotch had called her back two days ago and for the last few nights she'd stayed at his place, sleeping in the guest room and being careful to avoid him as he worked under the guise that she was still dead.

A small part of Emily wished that everything could finally fall into place but the realistic part of her told her it would never happen. Emily tried not to think of the fact that he'd flown in to see her in the hospital before she'd "died". Hopes like that couldn't be considered.

"What are you still doing here?" Emily was shaken from her thoughts by Hotch descending the stairs from the catwalk and out of his office, striding towards her and partially engrossed in the case file he was holding.

"I wasn't sure where to go," Emily bit her lip awkwardly, feeling terrible as she watched Hotch's expression change to mentally kicking himself for forgetting that she had nowhere to stay.

"I can't believe I forgot that," Hotch hissed, tossing the case file onto the nearest desk. "You can stay at my place until you get settled I suppose."

"No, Hotch, after all you've done I can't-"

"Prentiss, I insist."

Emily's smirk glowed in the shaft of moonlight that came through the darkened bullpen windows.

"Well, if you insist..."

"I do. Now, let's go home. You have a long day of not being dead tomorrow and I wake up at 6 and get to work at 7 and don't intend on waiting for you."

Emily laughed as she followed Hotch out the doors, her mind tamping down the fact that he'd just referred to his home as their own.

OoOoOoO

Tossing down her jacket onto the sofa, Emily collapsed onto it, yawning as she did so.

"Maybe it's just because I had to get rid of my apartment but I think I already consider this place a kind of home." The words were spoken in the half-asleep state that Emily had found herself in ever since the whole Doyle adrenaline rush had ended.

"Maybe it can be," Hotch replied quietly. It took a moment for Emily to process this but when she did her eyes jerked over and met Hotch's, surprised that he had breached into the territory that they'd silently agreed not to touch until everything was smoothed over.

"Wha- what do you mean?"

"Emily, I don't think you realise what happened while you were away. For half the time I stayed in America with the BAU I was so distracted that I could barely even deliver a profile. Rossi was practically running the Unit by the time I left to go overseas to Pakistan. I had almost lost credibility as Unit Chief because I was constantly thinking about _you_. The only contact I had with you was through JJ and the most I heard was 'She's fine' or 'She moved'. Every day I didn't get an update from you I wondered if maybe you'd died in the field. _Actually _died. And if you had, what would I have said to the team? Nothing. They were already grieving you and if you'd actually died all I would be able to do would be to grieve with them. Then I moved to Pakistan and I wondered; I clung to the tiny thread of hope that with all your moving around maybe, _just maybe _you had come to Pakistan too. So I searched. Every day I didn't have an assignment I combed each and every shop and stall and street and alley looking for you and wondering if you'd be there too."

Hotch stuttered to a stop, his eyes falling to a small spot on the sofa that was worn through, threadbare from Jack sitting there and watching cartoons early every Saturday morning. Emily didn't speak, didn't prompt him as Hotch swallowed thickly and continued.

"And then Derek called me, told me he'd been searching and found Doyle. I called JJ after and she told me you were in Italy. I got her to call you and ever since then I've been scared. I've been scared you weren't going to come home and I've been scared you weren't going to come back to the BAU. After everything you've been through, after everything I've out you through all I have wanted to say to you is _come home now._" Hotch's steely gaze lifted and locked upon Emily's. Neither of them faltered as Hotch spoke, voice hardening with need.

"Come home now because I love you and there is no way in hell you're going to leave again."

There was no nervous beat, no awkward pause and no lull between the Unit Chief's harsh tone and Emily pulling Hotch into a hug. She buried her face into his neck, tears threatening to spill over his dress shirt as he pressed his face into her shoulder, lazily leaning his cheek against her neck.

"I never knew. I never knew you'd done all that." Her voice was shaky but powerful, vibrating against Hotch's skin and forcing him to answer.

"Just promise you won't leave."

"Never."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Hotch smiled against the fabric of Emily's shirt, turning his head, kisses trailing up her neck as Emily sighed gently, the feeling of being home washing over her. Hotch's lips ran up along her jawline, nose nudging her head back so he could kiss her, taking her bottom lips between his own, and relishing the fact that this, everything, was his. Forever.

"I love you too, you know." Emily's voice was silvery and soft against Hotch's mouth and he just smiled in return, taking his time with an answer.

"I know."

_**Giant Hands – Dog & Panther**_


	35. We've Got A Long, Long Way To Go

Episode: Proof

"How's Reid?" Rossi pursed his lips thinly.

"He's angry and frustrated. I'm surprised everybody isn't." Hotch retorted.

"Eh, some of us had an inkling." Rossi smirked innocently as Hotch whirled on him, surprised.

"What? I'm good at what I do!" He paused, edging into untouched territory.

"So are you gonna get psychological counselling for the team or handle it internally?"

"No, I think that if we all just got together, maybe a cooking lesson at the home of one of-"

"Oh not you too."

"-to boost morale."

Rossi sighed. "Is this an order?"

"No!" Hotch replied gleefully. "It's just a ... it's a very... tempered suggestion."

"Yeah, tempered suggestion," Rossi grumbled, storming off. Hotch followed after him practically rubbing his hands with glee.

"Just what got you into this weird-ass mood, anyway, Hotchner?' Rossi growled, wondering if there was a scenario where it was possible for his house not to burn down.

"Maybe if a certain mansion became available for use I'd tell you," Hotch replied smoothly.

Rossi growled and stormed off, muttering something about burning tofu and a lack of alcohol.

OoOoOoO

"Well," Emily began carefully, sipping on her wine as the team drank theirs. "I actually have some news that I want to tell you guys before we get started on..." She paused, looking down at what Rossi had made. "Whatever this is."

"_This _is real Italian cooking, Emily."

"Yeah, no hate, Prentiss!" Derek grinned, plucking a noodle from Rossi's dish as the man turned to grab a towel to wipe his hands on.

"What's the news, Gumdrop?" Garcia interrupted, poking Derek and making him drop the noodle unto the counter.

"Um, I should probably correct that and say that _we_ have some news," Emily bit her lip, tensing for the oncoming storm as she slid in beside Hotch, nudging JJ aside.

"No way..." the blonde at her side gaped and looked around wildly at the other members of the team, all of which looked as shocked as her.

"When did this happen?" Garcia cried, arms flailing in the air as she tried to get a grasp on what had just happened.

"After Emily got back," Hotch replied, arm sliding around her waist and tugging her closer to his side.

"Rossi, man, I can't believe you were right." Derek shuffled around in his pocket and pulled out a 50, slapping it into the older man's hand. Rossi folded it slowly, tucking it away in his own pocket, grinning at the couple.

"And _that _is how you gamble, my friends."

"Did you know that statistically around 40% of people say they've dated a coworker and 30% of those office relationships end in marriage?" Reid frowned, looking over at Hotch and Emily thoughtfully. "Are you two getting married?"

"Not yet, I don't think so," Hotch looked down at Emily and leaned down, planting a chaste kiss onto her lips. "Yet, being the operative word."

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW." Garcia and JJ cooed as Derek rolled his eyes and Reid stood there, blinking and looking out of his depth.

"So I'm thinking we have one pair for cooking," Rossi cast a glance at the two and then scanned the rest of the team. "JJ and Spencer, you go together and Garcia and Derek..." Rossi frowned as Garcia pulled Derek into a hug. "Well, I'm sure you've got stuff covered."

The groups set their glasses down, grabbing ingredients and beginning to set to work. Rossi gripped Hotch's sleeve, pulling him away from Emily for a moment as she tossed a cooked noodle at Derek.

"Are you sure about this, Aaron? Isn't it just a little bit too soon?" Hotch stopped, the smile being tugged from his face.

"At first I wasn't. I didn't know what I was getting into. But I woke up the first morning of this case and when she wasn't at my side... we've only been together for a few days and already I just _know_, Dave. I know it may be sudden and maybe we still have a lot to work out but I'll do anything to make this work."

Rossi smiled at the younger man, his smile growing as Emily came over, poking Hotch for his sappiness and then taking his wrist and tugging him into the kitchen, the dark haired man laughing as Emily said something to him about the consistency of the water. For a moment it was picturesque, a snapshot of what their team really was.

And then Derek "accidentally" dropped half his plate of cooked spaghetti onto Rossi's head.

_**We Will Not Grow Old – Lenka**_


	36. Moments Still by Profiling Gaps to Fill

Episode: Dorado Falls

It's not like the great Aaron Hotchner got scared of things. Murderers? No big deal. Psychopaths? Please. Bombers? Try again. Telling his son he was in a relationship with someone who wasn't his mom?

Hello Achilles heel.

Hotch stared at his son's door, messily decorated with foam letters that spelled out, "jAck". He sighed softly, wondering if it'd open on its own.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" Hotch jolted, turning and dropping to his knees in front of Jack.

"Hey buddy, I thought you were already sleeping."

"No, I was in the bafroom," Jack blinked up at his dad, raising his arms above his head and wiggling his fingers to get Hotch to pick him up. Hotch did, carrying Jack into his room and laying him on the bed, tugging the blanket up over his body. Jack frowned at Hotch, creasing his eyebrows and spoke up quietly,

"Daddy, what's wrong?"

Hotch tipped his head, studying his son for a second. "I- What do you mean?"

"You look sad, Daddy."

"Do I? I'm sorry, Jack, I didn't mean to scare you," Hotch crouched down to eye level, squeezing his son's arm.

"You didn't scare me, Daddy. You just looked sad," Jack frowned, reaching out and tugging on his Dad's hair. "Don't be sad."

"I'm not, Jack." Hotch took a deep breath, suddenly realising that this was his chance. "Actually I'm really, really happy. Do you remember the woman you met a while ago, Emily?"

Jack scrunched up his face and nodded slowly. He didn't remember much except that she was pretty and hadn't laughed at his army men. Nobody should ever laugh at army men.

"Well we're dating now. That's when two people who really like each other spend time together."

"Like you and Mommy?"

"Not quite," Hotch couldn't really explain to a 6 year old that he was sure he'd marry Emily one day, but hadn't exactly decided on when. The poor kid was already sleepy and confused, Hotch couldn't just have a long, drawn out "adult" conversation with him. "We're like Mommy and I were but we aren't married."

"You and Mommy weren't married the whole time though, Daddy."

Hotch sucked in his breath, glancing away for a moment, the pain he'd caused Jack and Hayley still stinging and a bit raw.

"No but Emily and I aren't going to leave each other like Mommy and I did, Jack. We love each other very much." He wondered if he should include this part in the rundown he was going to give Emily later. Probably not.

Wouldn't want to scare her off and have to sit Jack down for another bad conversation.

_"Oh, sorry Jack, all that stuff I said to you was a lie. Please continue living your life."_

Definitely not.

"Promise?" Jack's voice tugged Hotch back to reality and for a moment Hotch was stunned. There were no questions, no details about how their lives would differ. He was just ok with it.

_As long as you two stay together, he'll be okay._

Hotch smiled, leaning down to kiss Jack goodnight on the forehead.

"I promise."

OoOoOoO

"So yeah, that was about it. He remembers you fine and asked about Hayley but other than that he's alright with it."

"Aw, what a sweet kid," Emily paused, leaning against the doorframe in her kitchen, momentarily leaving her dinner unattended.

"Yeah, he really is." A smile crossed her face as Emily heard the fondness running through Hotch's words.

"Well, talking to a 6 year old about something I sincerely hope he'll know nothing about until he's at _least _16 is tiring."

"Ah, of course. I shouldn't keep the great SSAIC Aaron Hotchner from his nightly going-ons."

"Not much going on until you come over tomorrow night," Hotch hummed into the phone. Emily burst out laughing, almost spilling spaghetti sauce all over her shirt.

"Smooth, Hotch. Very smooth. Oh, why aren't you here to hold me while I swoon?" Emily responded drily as she mopped up the spilled sauce with the side of her hand.

"Well I do consider myself somewhat of a romantic."

"Goodnight, Hotch."

"Night Emily," There was a momentary beat as Hotch paused, glancing back at the door to Jack's room and smiling to himself.

"I love you."

He wasn't sure if he was talking to Emily or Jack but really, either would do.

_**Mars - Effi**_


	37. Thoughts Like Bullets in my Brain

Episode: Painless

"Hey." A soft voice lifted Hotch from his case file reverie and he smiled lightly as Emily sat down across from him.

"Hey."

"How's Jack?" Hotch looked up quickly, a small smile quirking across his lips that he unsuccessfully tried to hide. "I... just had a feeling."

_Good God she's mothering him. She's said almost nothing to him and she's already his surrogate mom._

A surge of butterflies fluttered through his stomach at the very thought.

"There's a ... kid that's being mean to him at school." Hotch paused, gauging Emily's reaction. She looked so worried that it was hard to contain his smile despite the worry he felt himself. "And... Jack's solution is to invite him over and make friends with him."

"That is ... the sweetest–and saddest–thing I've ever heard. How did you find out?"

"His teacher told me."

"Jack didn't tell you?" More worry topping Hotch's own as he shook his head slowly.

"Ah, that must be hard." Hotch looked up as Emily spoke, her voice washing over him and reminding him just how goddamn much he loved her. "He wants to solve it himself and you wanna let him. But there's probably a part of you that wishes you could step in."

"Um, there's a part of me that wants to protect him from anything that could hurt him but I know I can't."

"No... but you can show him he doesn't have to face it alone."

For a moment he was seriously considering just kissing her then and there and not stopping until the plane landed a few hours later. The urge was so strong and the thrill that hummed through him running so deep at the fact that he _could have _and wouldn't be killed via paperwork for sexual harassment. All of this forced him to look down trying to change the topic as quickly as possible.

"How did you get by in Paris?"

"I um... I played a lot of online Scrabble," Emily laughed mysteriously. "With some girl named Cheetobreath."

"Was it at least in French?"

"No, not exactly." Emily's smile was infectious and Hotch looked out the window and onto the inky black clouds below them.

"Hey," Emily paused, waiting for Hotch to look back over, the clouds forgotten as he studied Emily's face for an explanation. "Maybe... I shouldn't come over today."

"Why not?"

"Because you need to spend time with Jack. I can tell and I don't mind. Really."

"Jack won't-"

"Hotch," Emily leaned forward, grasping his hand in her own. "It's _fine._"

"Are you sure?"

"It's not that big a deal, I just want to make sure Jack's ok with all this and if you need to talk to him then I'm not stopping you."

Hotch smiled, squeezing Emily's hand for a moment, tugging her forward and into a kiss.

"Thank you,"

"For what?" Emily pulled back, frowning.

"Everything."

Emily just smiled, about to lean in again when Derek's headphones came flying out of nowhere, accompanied by his voice calling,

"Hey, PG-13 back there, got it? Nobody's joining no mile-high club with me on board!"

_**In the Open – Benjamin Francis Leftwich**_


	38. All I Want Is To Have No Sounds But You

Episode: Epilogue

"He wants to know if the experience can change. I can relate to that."

Emily paused then glanced up to see Hotch's eyes transfixed upon her own. "Reid felt a warmth and saw a light. When I coded in the ambulance all I felt was cold and darkness. And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me."

Hotch was speechless as the conversation carried on around him. Death had always been something that had hung around him all his life and while he was saddened by it, he'd never really thought of it too much. Death didn't scare him as much as it could have and it never really had.

But evidently Emily felt different.

Hotch ordered the team to go off and do things for the next five minutes, wracking his brain to think of mildly useful things for them to do. They seemed to take the hint though and wandered off while Hotch practically dragged Emily into the room, closing the blinds and ignoring the fact that it looked extremely suspicious.

Emily stepped into the room, knowing exactly why Hotch had took her in there but trying to avoid this topic of discussion. Death was not her forte and she didn't intend for it to ever be.

"Emily?"

She winced as he used _that _voice. The one that always seemed to break her in the most irksome but (and she'd never admit this) adorable way.

"Its fine, Hotch. I'm really alright."

"Emily."

"Ok, I'm not alright but I'm getting over it slowly. I just need time, I think."

"Anything I can do to help you?" Hotch leaned against the wall, pulling Emily by her sleeves forward so she was leaning against him.

"Not really, no. Let's just wrap up this case and get the hell outta dodge."

Hotch smiled to himself, pressing a kiss to the roots of Emily's hair.

"You don't have to be brave, Emily."

"I know."

OoOoOoO

Hotch got into his car with a yawn, rubbing his face to wake himself up. It probably wouldn't be very good to die as he drove home leaving behind what was just shaping up to be a rather appealing life.

Blinking out of his thoughts, Hotch realised that his side door was opening and someone was getting in. With reflexes that were as instinctive as breathing, Hotch reached for his gun, hidden in a compartment in the door beside him.

"And to think I thought this was going so well. Suppressing some homicidal urges there?"

Hotch breathed a sigh of relief, staying his hand and reaching up to pull Emily into a kiss before he replied. Maybe some would call him a hormonal teen for being practically unable to be alone with her and not kiss her but hey; he deserved it after god only knew how many years of refraining.

"Shhh, don't tell the others, they might try lock me up as a future UNSUB. What are you doing here?"  
Emily paused, chewing the inside of her mouth. "This case rattled me a bit and I... don't really want to..."

Hotch stopped her ramblings with another kiss, pulling away after without a word and starting the ignition, leaving the parking lot with a stifled yawn and a hand tight around Emily's.

OoOoOoO

"I trust you still remember where stuff is?" Hotch grinned teasingly as he punched in his alarm code, the beeping stopping with a cheerful double beep.

Emily rolled her eyes, slinging her go bag over her shoulder. She'd come straight off the plane and was glad for it.

Showing up to work in one of Hotch's suits may not be the best idea.

Emily felt hands pulling at her waist, walking into the bedroom and she had to smile at this. All of this. It was just so new and ... perfect.

"What are you smiling about?" A voice rumbled in her ear, the smile growing even larger at the words.

"You," Was her only reply as she grinned and toppled back onto the bed.

OoOoOoO

"Ready to talk yet?"

"No, not really." Emily was curled up against Hotch's side her eyes half lidded as she felt rather than listened to him speak.

"But you do know I'm here when and if you ever are, right?" Hotch's voice, tinged with worry, actually calmed Emily.

"Of course. Now shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

A chuckle ran through his body and Emily closed her eyes. She felt safe here, the walls of Hotch's bedroom surrounding and cradling her in the aftermath of ... everything. She had been to hell and back and yet here she was, lying there and listening to the steady thump of a heartbeat, muffled by Hotch's thin grey t-shirt. With a sigh, Emily adjusted herself, pressing closer to her warm companion.

Home. She was home.

_**Break Hands – Cameras**_

_**Ok, I know these have been really short lately and I apologize but I haven't had a lot of time on my hands and I have a lot of other fics I need to work on as well as new ideas I have. WHY CAN'T I JUST FINISH THESE THINGS ARG. Anyway, please keep reviewing, we've hit the triple digits! I actually love each and every one of you who reviews, favourites, follows and just reads this. It all means so much!**_


	39. Just Know I Don't Want to Wander Too Far

Episode: Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

"Hey," Emily looked up from cleaning up Jack's Hot Wheel set to see Hotch come in through the door, exhausted and looking about as drained as he could. Emily took a step forward, brushing her hands off and giving Hotch a quick hello kiss. "You came home late, what happened?"

"Do I... not trust people?'' The words came out in a rush, overflowing from things Hotch needed to say.

"I'm not exactly the best person to ask that too," Emily replied, leaning down and putting away the last of Jack's toys. She yawned, sitting down on the couch and stretching her arms as Hotch dropped his briefcase and sat beside her.

"What do you mean?"

"Well we didn't exactly start off on a very trusting foot, did we? I'm not saying now, of course, but it wasn't really smooth sailing to start."

Hotch paused a moment to consider this and then pressed on. "But I don't trust people, do I?"

"The team trusts you and that's enough, isn't it?"

"Is it?" Anxiety oozed out of Hotch's every pore and Emily raised an eyebrow at this sudden influx of teenage-like angst.

"Ok, what got into you? Did Strauss chew you out after the case or something?" Emily adjusted herself so she was stretched out over the couch, her legs draped across Hotch's.

"It's just... been a long day, I suppose."

"Yeah, that happens with this job I hear."

"Funny, I've heard the same thing." Hotch rolled his eyes and was about to consider pulling Emily onto his lap when his phone went off, effectively ruining the possible moment.

"Hotchner."

Emily mouthed that she was going to say goodnight to Jack and left. She wasn't blind; she knew something had been up with Strauss. And she knew that Hotch and Derek had something to do with it. Emily pushed Jack's door open (He never closed it the whole way, it was too dark, he explained) and peeked in to see Jack sitting there, staring up at his ceiling thoughtfully.

"Hey, Sweetie, it's bedtime now," Emily sat down on the corner of the bed, about to turn off the lamp when Jack spoke.

"Emmy why do you call Daddy that name?"

"What name, Jack?" Emily ran through her memories quickly, frowning momentarily before it hit her. "Hotch?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Because that's what I call him at work, Jack."

"Oh," For a second he seemed satisfied and Emily was about to flick off the light before he piped up again. "Are you at work now?"

"No, silly," Emily tweaked his nose and Jack giggled before looking serious again. "I'm home now."

"Then why do you still call him that? His name is Daddy," Jack added, seriously.

"Jack, it doesn't make sense for me to call your dad Daddy. How about I just call him by his first name, ok?"

Instead of replying, Jack yawned and snuggled down deeper into his layers of blanket. Emily smiled, finally flicking off the light and without a moment of hesitation, laying a small kiss on his forehead.

From the doorframe, Hotch looked on, leaning casually against it as Emily stood and turned, stepping out into the hallway to join Hotch as she closed the door _almost _the whole way.

"So are you going to start calling me Daddy now?" He asked innocently. Emily whacked him on the side of the head good-naturedly and proceeded to the bedroom. Following behind, Hotch pulled off his jacket and undid his tie, tossing them onto a chair in the corner of the room.

"So what was the call about?" Emily asked from inside the closet, pulling off her clothes and searching for some form of pajamas. She settled for an old shirt, so faded that she didn't even know whose it was.

"It was just Morgan checking up. No big deal."

Emily climbed into bed having already brushed her teeth, rolling her eyes despite the fact that Hotch, who was in the bathroom, couldn't see her.

"After your little breakdown about telling the truth, it pains me to tell you that you're kind of proving yourself in the wrong here."

"Whaght?" Hotch poked his head out of the bathroom, teeth half brushed and toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. Emily smiled at the image, comparing it mentally to the Hotch—no, _Aaron_—that she knew at work.

"I can tell when you're lying, Sweetie."

There were a few minutes of silence and Hotch emerged, rubbing his face along his phantom beard and pulling off his dress shirt and undoing his pants, also tossing them onto the same chair as before. Emily wondered how surprised people would be to learn that Hotch was the messy one in their relationship.

"Who says I was lying?"

"The master profiler in this bedroom."

"Right, of course," Hotch surrendered, tugging back the sheets and sliding into bed and lying down, propping himself up on his elbow as he faced Emily who was sitting up and smirking at him.

"You do trust people, _Aaron_, but your default setting is not to. Like now."

"I do trust you. I completely and utterly 100% trust you," Pause. "But this isn't my secret to tell."

"Ah, always the gentleman. You are absolutely not fun to gossip with."

"Well I suppose I'll just have to be fun for other things," Hotch sighed dramatically, rolling over and pinning Emily down, kissing her languidly.

"I suppose you just will have to, won't you, _Aaron._" Emily pulled back, the name still sounding foreign on her lips.

"I think I could definitely get used to you calling me that."

Emily smiled against his lips, flipping them over in one motion.

"You better."

Hotch was about to continue down the wonderful path that this sort of thing usually entailed when he stopped, pulling away for a moment and pondering for a moment.

"By the way, how's your ivy rash?"

"Hm," Emily paused along with him, trying to look serious but failing. "I guess you'll just have to trust that I won't get you all itchy tomorrow."

"And to think, people think _you're _the nice one in this relationship."

_**Hideaway – The Weepies**_


	40. AN 2

A/N: Sorry there was a small mixup with chapters and I uploaded the chapters out of order. There are 2 episodes uploaded, Epilogue [_All I want is to have no sound but you..._]and Self-Fulfilling Prophecy [_Just know I don't want to wander too far..._]. Apologies for the mixup and I hope you enjoy!


	41. Sweet to Me in a World That's Not Fair

It was a Tuesday. Hotch could never get the hang of Tuesdays.

"Ok, so I told Anderson to give you the Armenson files, did you receive them yet?" Rossi strode into Hotch's office looking, for all intents and purposes, like he owned the place.

"No, when did you tell him? You do know that I needed those files by today at 3?" Hotch rubbed his forehead, wondering if you could get a migraine from overexposure to irritating Italians.

"I texted him yesterday around 10."

"AM or PM?"

"I plead the fifth," Rossi looked down, studying his nails thoughtfully. Hotch took a deep breath and gazed out into the bullpen, counting down from 10 and trying not to self-destruct.

"You do know that we have a case today, right?" Hotch looked up at his friend pleadingly, wondering if this would sway him at all. "I need those files by 10:30."

"Well you said 3 earlier, so I don't even know what to do now. By the way, have you and Emily actually gone out on a date yet?"

"What in the _hell _does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, I was just trying to save my skin. But have you?"

Hotch leaned down, opening up a drawer and pulling out some extra strength Tylenol. He dry-swallowed two and looked back up at Rossi. "I am not talking to you about this."

"Oh come onnnnn," Rossi slumped down in the chair in front of Hotch's desk and blinked hopefully. "What if I told you it was important?"

"Then I would tell you that we have a case to look at right now and we need to go to teh conference room."

"Party pooper."

Hotch rolled his eyes, standing up and wondering if he had actually hired a 5 year old for the job.

"But you guys have had sex at least, right?"

Yeah, it was definitely a Tuesday.

"Dave I swear to God."

"You're afraid to get back on the bike, aren't you," Rossi patted Hotch's shoulder comfortingly and the younger man swatted it away, wishing he had his gun on him right now.

"Its okay, Aaron! You know what they say about riding a bicycle..." Rossi trailed off as he sat down in the conference room, Reid turning towards them as the two spoke.

"Who's getting a bicycle?"

"Nobody." _Don't look at Emily, don't look at Emily, don't even glance her way. _"Let's get started."

"Uhhh, okay." Garcia stood up, beginning the slideshow of gory images that barely even affected the team anymore.

"Hey, Emily," Rossi kept his eyes down, specifically not looking away from the case file. "You know I'm a very wealthy man and that Penelope is a very nice girl..."

"Ew, Rossi, not in the workplace."

"Yeah, you're one to talk. But no, not what I was saying. I meant that I owe her for ... something that occurred a while back and now she wants that debt paid. And, of course, she wants payment in the form of information. So, because of this I was wondering if-"

"You can tap Hotch for literally as much information as you want, but there is absolutely no way you're getting anything from me," Emily looked up and tapped a pencil against her jaw thoughtfully. "Also, I like to see you grovel."

"You are a hard woman to please, Emily Prentiss."

She snorted, scribbling out a note.

"Ask Hotch about _that_."

OoOoOoO

"Okay, Rossi, out with it. _Tell me everything._"

"_I. Don't. Know._" The man leaned forward, eyes flicking to Emily whose poker face was dead straight.

"You know, statistically widowed men start dating much faster than females but Hotch is refuting the data."

"Venus has aligned with Mars which means love is in the air for Bossman and our little Gumdrop and _oh! Maybe we'll even get weekends off!_"

Derek cleared his throat, giving Emily a look as she continued to pretend she was oblivious to the entire conversation being held around her.

"What?" Emily smirked as she shut the case file and looked up, positively beaming at Hotch as he glowered at the four people and laptop. "Is he standing there? He's standing there, isn't he."

"Hello, Garcia."

"Emily, I hate you. Somebody, _please_, talk about the case."

Emily just grinned, looking up at Hotch and waving cheerfully.

OoOoOoO

Hotch didn't even know what day it was now, but he was sitting on the couch in his office and drinking scotch.

Maybe somehow it was Tuesday again. Or Wednesday. Or Thursday. Hell, he never could get the hang of any day, really. They were all contaminated now that he had to almost physically outrun Rossi just to have a moment alone (or better yet, one with Emily).

"Knock, knock, I'm back!"

Shit.

"I barricaded the door, come back tomorrow!" Hotch called back, downing the last of the small tumbler and setting it down on his desk.

Rossi rolled his eyes outside of the office and easily pushed the door open, crossing his arms and shaking his head at the younger profiler.

"Really, Aaron, I thought you knew me better than that."

"I swear to God I will run you over with my car, Dave."

Rossi nodded, taking in the information and apparently not caring. "And I'd call it sexual tension."

"Get out."

"Oh, come on Aaron, what are you scared of? It's not like anyone on the team is going to bust your balls over you dating Emily. We're happy that you're happy. Now let us fix you two up on a date or something."

"We're supposed to go on one tomorrow but... I don't know."

"You live with this woman, Aaron. I'm assuming you've seen her naked and at least once thought about her wearing a ring. Go on the date, Aaron or I'll go on it for you."

"That would be scary if you were 20 years younger, old man."

"Please," Rossi raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Now, are you going to go on the date?"

"Is it too soon?"

"It's not soon enough."

"But what if it doesn't go well?"

"You've worked together for 6 years and lived together for something like a month. If it doesn't go well I'll eat pasta from Olive Garden."

Hotch laughed and stepped towards his door, about to flick off his lights and usher Rossi out when the other man paused in the doorway.

"No briefcase?"

"No, uh, Emily convinced me to stop bringing work home."

"Dear God, man, you need to go on this date."

Rossi stepped out of the office and moved along the catwalk into his own office, shaking his head as Hotch paused, hand on the light switch as he surveyed his own office, mind elsewhere.

They were going to the park tomorrow, with Jack. It was what had come to be known between the two of them as, 'The Date That Would Have Been'. A pipe dream, a frayed grip on reality.

Except it was real. This was real. She was _very _real.

With a smile, Hotch clicked off the lights and shut his office door.

_From the Clouds – Jack Johnson_


	42. You Lose Something You Can't Replace

Episode: Unknown Subject

If Hotch had been confused when he had read about Emily reaching out to her mother then he was _very _confused about the whole Sergio thing.

Ah, the Sergio thing. Emily had brought him over from Garcia's when she'd gotten back. For one night, she had said. He just needs to remember me and then he can go back to Garcia's. But then, of course, she hadn't planned for Jack to be home on that night (or... had she?). Or the following night, when he pleaded and begged and cried for Sergio to come back. A pet was never a good idea, with the job they had and it was an even worse idea considering the fact that Jessica was allergic to cats and therefore couldn't take him in.

But Emily, being Emily, realised that if she left Sergio at Garcia's and Jack at Jessica's then after a case was over, Hotch could go with Garcia to pick up Sergio and Emily could take the car to pick up Jack and then drive over to grab Hotch. It was a truly flawless plan.

Except Hotch hated Sergio. And Sergio loved Hotch. He clawed, he meowed, he jumped and he yowled. All of this at 3 AM and on top of Hotch. Even with the door firmly shut against intruders, still he managed his way in. And it didn't help that Emily would always coo and hug him and scratch him in that one place behind his ears so he would flop down on top of Hotch's head and purr for hours.

Hotch still swore that the moment Sergio peed on anything worth $5 or more, he was gone. Emily just continued to sprinkle catnip over Hotch's head.

OoOoOoO

"Hey," Emily glanced down at her nails, proud that she'd gotten this far without biting them. The little white ends were beginning to show and she wondered if she could last long enough to get a manicure with Garcia.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry; I thought you said 10:30." Emily leaned down to sit across from Hotch, craning her neck ever so slightly to see what file he was reading now.

"I did, for you. Have a seat." Emily sat, frowning now. She recognised when they weren't in home mode and this was one of the professional times. "I received Dr. Meryl's evaluation; I just wanted to review it with you."

"Here?" Emily set her bag down, still trying to read what her doctor had said about her.

"Well, I get tired of being profiled through my office window." Emily had to agree, the team did get nosy about their relationship.

"Well, what is there to discuss? She gave me a clean bill of health."

"Patient shows no hesitation tackling difficult calls as part of reintegrating into her life. She has reached out to her mother," Hotch paused giving Emily a pointed look. He would have known if she had. Most likely via a very expensive purchase or a string of broken objects.

"I'm going to."

"-and has started a romantic relationship with a man named Sergio."

Emily licked her lips, looking down somewhat awkwardly. "Mhm."

"Now, I don't care if you lie to your therapist. All I care about is how your behaviour affects your job." _And if Sergio is going to continue being part of your life._

"Well, I don't think it has."

"You've been overcompensating." Hotch studied Emily as she immediately became defensive.

"How have I..."

"You rushed to repair your relationship with Morgan. You've become an emotional sounding board for Reid and Rossi."

"That's being a good friend." Emily retorted.

"You offered me parenting advice."

"O-Okay, so maybe I have been working a little bit harder to regain people's trust. Is that such a bad thing?" It had turned to a plea now, Emily hoping she could find solace in Hotch's words.

"No," He paused, choosing his words carefully. "It only is if you use it to avoid dealing with what you went through."

"But I'm not," Emily took a deep breath, trusting Hotch more than anyone else she knew. But that didn't mean she felt like she wanted to spill everything she felt surrounding Doyle with him. "I chose to come back here. Why? Because I care about the people I work with? Yes. But also because it's clean. I know who the good guys and the bad guys are. I don't have to worry about screwing someone over to make a case."

"Mmkay," Hotch studied Emily, his girlfriend, the woman he loved, his hot date (according to Rossi) and realised that she was keeping something from him. "I want you to make a deal with me. You're gonna go weeks, months even, feeling fine. Then you're gonna have a bad day. Just let me know when you do."

"And that's it?" Emily was sure that she hadn't gotten away scot-free, that this was nowhere close to the end of it. But it was for today at least.

"That's it."

"Deal."

Hotch tossed the file onto the table between them, dropping their professional guise along with it. "Sergio?"

"He is the perfect man," Emily replied bluntly. "He doesn't hog the covers and he poops in a box."

"I don't hog the covers."

"Well it isn't Serge."

"Jack, then."

"You going to call up Reid on what it means for me to lie about having a cat for a romantic interest?"

"I think I can gather my own facts from that."

Emily grinned, leaning forward for a kiss before she began pulling case files out of her bag. She sat back, opening up the plain brown folder, listening to Hotch's grumblings about cats and how they ruined everything.

OoOoOoO

Hotch stepped into the airplane cabin warily. It had been a long case and for God's sake, he'd just put away a man who'd raped 12 women. Suffice it to say, he was exhausted, but one look at Emily's vacant expression as she gazed out the window, seated in the far corner of the plane and unmoving, Hotch knew he had more important things to do than sleep.

She tried to smile as he sat down but it was shaky and she immediately looked away, looking similar to a cornered animal, ready to fight or flee.

"I'm having a bad day."

Hotch leaned forward, studying Emily's face carefully. This was no time for his professional guise and he reached forward, tugging on Emily's wrists so he had her hands firmly grasped in his.

"What happened?"

"She just- He's dead, Hotch. He's dead and he's gone and he can never truly come back. Except he can. In nightmares or if I see someone who looks like him or someone with an Irish accent I just- what if it doesn't go away? I can't talk to a therapist because there's nothing to say. All I can do is just tell myself over and over that it isn't real and that he can't hurt me again." Emily looked up, facing Hotch full on and staring back into his eyes, her own pooling with tears. "What will happen when I can't keep telling myself that?"

"I'll be there," It rolled off the tongue easily but Hotch realised how true it was. He would be there. Every year and month and week and day, he knew he wouldn't leave her. "Emily, I'm not going to and nor do I want to leave you. I love _you_. God, I love you so much and I don't want you to feel like you're alone. You and Jack, you're the most important things in my life and I can't lose you a second time. Please, sweetheart, just promise me that you'll talk to me whenever you feel like this."

Emily took a shaky breath. Could she promise that? It wasn't as easy as swearing that she'd talk to him if he had a bad day, it was promising that she'd talk to him whenever she was scared of the unknown or having nightmares. She didn't know how she could do that. How she could trust someone so fully and completely with all of her problems.

"I can't do that. I can't make that promise, Aaron. I trust you, more than I do anyone else, but I can't promise that."

Hotch dipped his head, massaging Emily's palms between his fingers.

"I love you."

Emily's smile was watery, her voice as shaky as she suddenly felt.

"You gonna say that every time we talk?"

"Probably."

"Alright, I think I can be ok with that."

OoOoOoO

_Fix You - Coldplay_


	43. We're Still Dancing in the Quiet Streets

Episode: Closing Time

"It's not the greatest way to spend Valentine's Day, is it?"

Hotch's head shot up and his eyes were bugging slightly. Derek was enjoying this far too much.

"Some of the singles and I were going to the bar if you'd like to join us," He held back a grin, trying to look as serious as possible as Hotch scrambled to put away his stuff. "Unless... you have somewhere else you need to be."

"Shut up, Derek."

Derek raised his hands in surrender, grinning wide from ear to ear as he stepped out of the office. "You know, it's just Emily. She won't mind, I'm sure of it."

"Yes, thank you, Derek."

Hotch shuffled his papers together and pushes them to the corner of his desk, hurriedly running a hand through his hair as he followed Derek out the door, barely remembering to flick off the lights and shut the door.

An elevator ride had never taken so much time in his entire life.

OoOoOoO

Turns out, he didn't even need to go inside. Emily was sitting on the curb outside of the apartment building, staring up at the sky.

"I sincerely hope you weren't waiting for me," Hotch sat down beside her, tucking his legs in and crossing his arms over his knees.

"No, not really. Jack's at Jessica's and I felt too wired to sleep."

"Sorry I'm home late."

"It happens, I don't mind."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Emily."

Emily turned to him, looking about as surprised as Hotch had only 15 minutes earlier.

` "I completely forgot..." she murmured softly, yawning in spite of herself. Hotch shrugged off his suit jacket and draped it over Emily's shoulders, remembering all the other times he'd done so in the past.

"I did too until Morgan reminded me," Hotch snorted. "I say reminded but I really mean that he walked in and invited me out to his, Dave and Reid's night thing. Basically they just try and get Reid to pick up a girl and fail and they all get drunk and are hungover the next morning."

Emily laughed, leaning her head and resting it on Hotch's shoulder.

"I still don't feel like going inside."

"Me neither. Let's walk around," Hotch grinned as he stood and offered Emily a hand up. "I can protect you, you needn't worry."

Emily swooned and jumped up on her own, rubbing her sides and letting the suit jacket's arms hang limply at her side.

"You know," Hotch began as they started walking. "I think that you're supposed to put your arms through the holes. I don't know, just a thought, but it seems like a crucial part of wearing clothes."

"Eh, I like it better like this. I can be warm and still keep my ladylike figure." Emily stopped mid-trek and stared up at the sky again, Hotch slowing and turning to watch her. The moonlight mixed with that of a streetlamp, casting a golden glow upon Emily's face that was just... breathtaking. He quirked a smile, stepping forward, towards Emily, who was still staring up at the sky.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen this many stars out befo- Oh. Hello." Emily raised her eyebrow as Hotch slid his arm in around her waist and wound his fingers between hers, cocking his head to the side.

"Dance with me?"

"We're in the middle of the road."

"It's like, one in the morning, Emily."

"I'm cold, Aaron."

"Tough."

They swayed like that, turning in slow circles in the middle of the street, the only light the moon, the flickering orange streetlamps and, far above them, the stars, which shone down, clouds dissipated for just a few quiet minutes.

"This is... nice. We should do this more often," Emily murmured, her lips inches away from Hotch's collarbone, head tilting up to look into his eyes.

"I think this street is usually busier."

"Ha ha, very funny. You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Hotch smiled leaning down and pausing before he kissed Emily. "I do."

She smiled against his lips, neither of them swaying anymore and both just standing, still in the night air. If a car were to come barrelling down the street, neither would have cared. The moment was still, silent as the night itself and yet, if you'd asked them, both would have told you that they could have sworn that they heard music.

Far above, the stars kept shining.

_**Boys Will Be Kings – Raised by Wolves**_


	44. I Think It's Time to Say Goodbye

Episode: A Family Affair

"So, what time should I pick up Jack tomorrow?"

The soft sounds of people sleeping a moving about the cabin were broken by Rossi's voice, just above a loud whisper. Derek, in the seat across from the pair, slept on.

"I have to leave by 5 am and I think Emily, Garcia and JJ are going out for a ladies night." Hotch winced, looking up awkwardly. "So they won't be home 'til sunrise."

"Okay, well. I tell you what, you put on the coffee and I'll be there." Rossi smiled, reflecting upon the other days that the three women had gone out for drinks. It hadn't exactly ended well.

"Thanks," Hotch glanced back down at a case file, looking forward to not doing anything for the next few days.

Except run a triathlon, but that was nothing.

"So, you nervous? I mean, it's not too late to back out."

"I'm ready," Hotch glanced up at Rossi again, smiling. "... Maybe."

He looked back down, pausing in his reading to stop and raise his head once more.

"So, when are we going to stop having these conversations and pretending like we aren't talking about Emily?"

"About when you start smiling on the job," Rossi smiled good-naturedly, clasping his fingers in his lap.

"Have you seen what we do? I can't smile with things like that."

Rossi shrugged, glancing over towards where Emily and JJ were trading secretive looks about their upcoming night, Reid blissfully unaware of what was going on.

"Don't smile because of what we do, Aaron. Smile because of what you have," Rossi shook his head at his fortune cookie words. "Because what you have is pretty damn good. So don't mess it up, ok?"

OoOoOoO

"You did it," Rossi grinned as he stepped forward, Jack running up behind them.

"I did, can you believe it?" Rossi smirked as he caught Hotch scanning the crowd quickly for Emily. Just as he was about to call out to her, Jack came running up, squealing with excitement from the cheering crowd and being around his surrogate family.

"Daddy, did you see my sign!" Jack jumped up around his dad as the man bent down, hanging his medal around his son's neck.

"I did! That's for you buddy," Hotch stepped back, admiring the medal. "Your sign was fantastic!"

"How you feeling?" Rossi added as Hotch took a swig of water, wondering to himself how he hadn't gotten enough with the swimming and (eurgh) sweat.

"I think I'm gonna live," He grinned as Emily walked over with the rest of the team.

"Pretty impressive," She attempted a smile, the hangover pulsating through her entire body. "I had money on the swim killing you."

"I had practice," Hotch shrugged, tugging her over by her coat, amused by her eyes, squinting despite the enormous frames that adorned her face.

"I bet you did," Derek snorted, trying to cover his words up with a fake cough. Hotch gave him his signature glare, made infinitely less scary by his slicked down hair and Emily trying not to laugh.

"You guys want some breakfast?" Reid suggested, trying to cut the tension.

"Oh, something greasy," JJ moaned, rubbing her forehead. Emily bobbed her head enthusiastically, grabbing Hotch's shirt and taking Jack's hand in hers, pulling the two Hotchner's after the retreating figures of their friends.

"I'm quite glad I got Dave to pick up Jack," Hotch grumbled, slipping his hand into Emily's, safely extracting it from his rather grim shirt.

"Please, I would have gotten Reid to pick him up."

"Reid's a menace behind the wheel, he drives like a 16 year old."

"Yes," Emily agreed thoughtfully. "But he'd be better than Garcia after ... 4 green fairies? 5?" Hotch snorted, trying unsuccessfully to remove the mental image of his girlfriend and co-workers drinking. And getting drunk. Very drunk.

"You're going to be the death of me, I think."

"Only if this hangover isn't the death of me. Come on, the rest of the group already left and I'm in no fit state to drive."

"I just ran a triathlon!"

"That's no excuse. Now hurry up, Jack wants some pancakes."

OoOoOoO

"So, any cases for the next week or so?" JJ practically keened as her and Emily's greasy sandwiches were delivered to them, the rest of the team's food having already been half eaten.

"None that I can see. B Team is handling a few more because our load's been..." Hotch paused, spearing a potato wedge and feeding it to Emily over Jack's head, then continuing the conversation as if nothing had happened. "...bigger than usual."

"Uh huh," JJ nodded as if that hadn't been top ten of the strangest things she'd ever seen. Glancing out of the corner of her eye at Reid, at her other side, JJ guessed she wasn't the only one mildly creeped out.

"Let's not talk about work, hm?" Rossi prompted as he took a sip of his coffee and blanched at the taste. "Ugh, anyone want this?"

"I do! I DO!" Jack waved his arm around in the air, Emily expertly dodging it as it swung wildly.

"Watch it, Jack Attack, you're going to blind Uncle Dave." Emily swallowed thoughtfully and looked at Rossi, her head tilted. "That is, unless old age hasn't already done that?"

"Oh, ha _ha_ Emily, you should leave and become a freaking comedienne."

"For you, Dave," Emily batted her long eyelashes coyly and pretended to swoon. "_Anything._"

Hotch coughed. Jack flicked a bite of his eggs across the table in protest.

"Did you know that with so many television-related sitcoms, becoming a comedian is actually slowly becoming a more and more popular job?" Reid's voice was drowned in a series of complaints about his fact-spewing. Emily just leaned down to Jack's eye level, grabbing the ketchup bottle and squirting out the Spiderman symbol right smack in the centre of his eggs. The team's voices quieted down as Emily gave Jack a secretive smile, explaining how Spiderman was off on a mission and needed Jack to eat his eggs.

"It's really important, too because if you leave even one little bit on your plate, do you know what could happen, Jack?"

"What?" The boy's eyes were round as saucers, as were the teams. All except Hotch, who continued eating his French toast like it was just another day.

Emily leaned down, eyes darting around like she was afraid someone would hear. In a conspiratorial whisper, she hissed into Jack's tiny ear, "_The Green Goblin_."

Jack gasped, immediately shoveling the eggs into his mouth as Emily leaned back, finishing up her sandwich. The booth was silent as everyone stared at the trio, none of them actually aware of it until Emily brushed the crumbs off her lap and froze, eyes locking with the other 5.

"What?"

"Nothing," they chorused, nervous glances darting between them.

"Emily, come to the bathroom with me." JJ's hand latched onto Emily's with a deathgrip as Garcia's eyes widened and she cried out, "Oh, me too!" The two blondes practically dragged Emily away as the men at the table exchanged looks that said, 'Why must women always do that?'

OoOoOoO

"What the hell was that?" JJ hissed as they dragged Emily into the bathroom.

"What was what?" Emily cried, looking back and forth between the blonde pair.

"Emily I didn't know you and Hotch were getting married!" Garcia wailed, arms flapping at her sides.

"Wh- what?! We aren't!" Emily stuttered out her reply, confusion written all over her face.

"But with Jack... Emily, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he started calling you 'Mommy'." JJ bit her lip, trying to gauge her friend's reaction. Emily paled suddenly, falling back against the counter, mind reeling.

"But I'm not his mom. Hayley is- was," Emily pressed her lips together and looked up at her friends. "We're just dating right now."

"And living together, and he has a kid, and that kid basically is in love with you." Garcia ticked the points off on her fingers, giving Emily a look.

"But we haven't been dating that long, I'm not sure if I'm ready to get married." Emily suddenly paled at the thought of her dressed in white, walking down an aisle with Hotch at the end. Jack would be ring bearer. The team would be there, smiling. It was so perfect.

So why was she so scared?

"Honey, it's okay. You don't have to marry him yet," JJ reached out, rubbing Emily's arm soothingly. "But... you do realise that eventually you probably will get married, right?"

Emily closed her eyes, heart suddenly pounding at the very thought. Marriage. A kid. Forever. Doyle.

She had almost done the same with Doyle.

"I'm gonna be fine, guys. Don't worry. Just... give me a second, okay?" Emily looked at her friends pleadingly and they just nodded, silently promising to feed Hotch and the guys some stupid lie. They left quickly and Emily turned, splashing water onto her face and looking up at her reflection.

She loved him. God, she loved him so much. Jack too, of course.

But... did she love them enough?

_**Down the Burning Ropes – James Vincent McMorrow**_

_**So, we're getting a bit closer to the end (NOOOOOOOO). I know, I made a really mean plot twist, but bear with me. I love Hotly too much to keep them apart for too long. Anyway, I just want to say thanks so much to the people who've stuck with me this whole time as well as those who joined up somewhere along the road. I'll be continuing my other stories and probably trying to wrap up a lot of them because I have so many more ideas! Watch out for more, they're gonna be great.**_

_**Thanks **___


	45. If You Forget The Way To Go, Be Still

Episode: Heathridge Manor

Emily lay still, the darkness seeping over her slowly, apologizing for the fact that she couldn't spend her life in the light. Emily rolled over to her side, Hotch lying flat on his back, one arm stretched across his forehead and the other wrapped loosely around Emily's waist. She sighed gently, turning away from him and slipping out of the bed, bare feet making no noise as she slipped out of the room.

Emily made her way out into the main room, leaning against the windowsill and looking outside, streetlights flickering and fading fast as she watched on. It had been a few nights since she had freaked out in the washroom at the diner. They'd all gone back into work yesterday to do paperwork, Derek and Reid giving her questioning looks that made Emily wonder what Garcia and JJ had told them. On that day, she'd ended up going back to the table after a few minutes, saying nothing and grabbing her coat to leave. Hotch hadn't said anything about it, but she could feel a kind of tension in the air.

She wished she could dispel it, she really did, but just the thought of getting married scared her more than she cared to admit. Marriage? She had thought about it. She had thought about it with Hotch. She had practically agreed to it, what with Jack and moving in with him.

Jack. What was going to happen with Jack? If she couldn't marry Hotch, then would she just leave him and Jack?

No. This was too much in too little time. For God's sake, he hadn't even proposed to her! She didn't even know if he wanted to propose! Emily shook her head, rubbing her eyes gently. It wasn't fair to freak out if there wasn't anything wrong. For a few seconds, she just sat there, choosing not to think about anything. And then she heard the sound of footsteps, gentle, like her own.

"Emmy?"

Emily turned, crouching down without a second thought and scooping Jack up into her arms.

"Hey, baby," Emily bit her cheek, frowning at Jack, who yawned sleepily. "What are you doing up right now?"

"You woke up first, Emmy." He blinked back at her, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Yeah, did I wake you up, sweetie?"

"No, I couldn't sleep." Just to disprove his lie, Jack yawned again, Emily narrowing her eyes as he tried to stifle himself.

"Do you want me to read you a story?"

Jack smiled sleepily, nodding. Emily smiled too, walking into Jack's room and setting him down on the bed, grabbing a random book from his bedside table and glancing at the cover before cracking it open.

"_Once upon a time there lived a kind old woman who had an only son named Jack.._."

OoOoOoO

Hotch opened his eyes, words drifting from Jack's room. The lamplight from Jack's dresser led Hotch's path as he made his way down the hallway, poking his head in as Emily clicked off the light. She turned, jolting as she saw Hotch standing in the doorway. For a moment she didn't move and Hotch just tipped his head, mouthing, '_What happened?'_

Emily twitched a smile as she gazed down at Jack. For a moment she looked conflicted, scared. Then, as if in a single second she had made up her mind about something, Emily turned towards Hotch, moving across Jack's room quickly, closing the door behind her and pulling him down by his faded t-shirt collar into a kiss.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

"Uh, yeah, I- I love you too?" Hotch frowned, puzzled as he leaned down for another kiss. "But if you hadn't realised, it's 4 in the morning, sweetheart."

"Yeah, let's go to bed."

Hotch dipped his head in agreement, turning to go back to their room. Emily paused, not following him as she gently pushed Jack's door open again, watching him curled up, arms wrapped around a stuffed bear that Emily had got him for his birthday.

She wasn't scared anymore. At least, not as much.

_If terror falls upon your bed  
And sleep no longer comes  
Remember all the words I said  
Be still, be still, and know_

_**Be Still – The Fray**_


	46. I'm Yours to Keep, My Beautiful Girl

_**NB: This takes place before/after the episode. The actual episode doesn't really get mentioned much in here.**_

Episode: Diving Rod

The day was peaceful, a shaft of sunlight shining down on the bed where Emily was sitting up, thumbing her way to the end of a book. The pages rustled softly, whispering the words that ran across the page, her mind elsewhere. Cases had been never ending for the last little while, or at least it felt that way. The gentle reminder that they hadn't been home in a long time came in the form of finding her toothbrush sitting in a cup on the jet and the nod of acceptance from Jack instead of a heartfelt plea not to leave as Emily kissed him goodbye to explain that they wouldn't be home for another few days.

But they were alright now. They had a few off days and Emily was looking forward to just... not doing anything.

A rustling of bed sheets beside Emily alerted her to Hotch waking, a yawn piercing the momentary stillness. She glanced over to see him rubbing his face, mouth stretching into another yawn as he turned over to her, one eye closed, and the other squinting against the brightness of the sun through the window.

"Did you even sleep last night?" Hotch's arms crept around Emily waist as he tugged her back and rested his head on her shoulder, scanning the book she was reading. "No way... is that Dave's?"

Emily shrugged and put it down on her bedside table, settling into the curve of Hotch's body with a yawn herself. "I asked the team for book suggestions and guess who came up with this?"

Hotch snorted, reaching up to rub at his eyes. The sun cast down on Emily's face, lighting her face sharply. Hotch grimaced, angling his head so he could see her profile better, his cheek brushing her shoulder. She looked pale. Not just pale, but gaunt, shadows hanging under her eyes that he'd never seen before except during the Doyle case.

"Hey," Hotch could feel Emily shiver as he spoke, his breath brushing her skin. "You okay?"

In the few moments of silence, Hotch's mind flashed back to the incident after his triathlon where Emily had been dragged into the washroom only to spend 10 minutes in there, exit and immediately try and leave, pretending that nothing had happened. JJ and Garcia had said that her food hadn't agreed with her, but JJ had gotten the exact same thing and she had seemed fine.

But he hadn't mentioned it. And he didn't plan to, either. Bringing up something that she obviously didn't want to never was a good idea.

"Yeah, I'm just... tired, I guess." Emily glanced over at Hotch, who didn't say anything. "I just feel like I want to do something. I feel a bit-" Emily cut off, biting her lip and looking down. Hotch nudged her gently, prompting her to finish her train of thought.

"... missing. I feel like something's missing." She didn't look up. Didn't look away. She just sat, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them.

"I kind of felt the same," Hotch tugged Emily closer, kissing her neck and pondering if he should continue with his train of thought. "But I think I know the answer."

Pause. Wait for her to turn, look into her eyes.

"I was looking at real estate. As in, actual houses for us to live in." Hotch blinked, resting his head on her shoulder again. "What do you think?"

OoOoOoO

The laptop blinked on, breaking the team's conversation. It was lulling already, but the cheery sound of Garcia's voice broke through their gentle stupor.

"Hello, my pretties! Oh," She frowned, squinting through the camera at Emily. "You aren't looking very pretty, gumdrop. I actually think I have some news that may brighten your day!"

Emily frowned at that, glancing over at Hotch, whose face was buried in a case file. He wasn't really paying attention to it though, and shrugged at Garcia's words without really contemplating them.

"Well, someone stopped by the office looking for a Mr. Aaron Hotchner. I told them that he wasn't in. They told me it was urgent. I told them I'd give him whatever it was they had for him." Garcia paused here to waggle her eyebrows suggestively. Emily rolled her eyes, making a shooing motion for Garcia to continue her story.

The blonde cleared her throat, obviously waiting for everyone to listen to her tale. "Well, the man said that he was from a certain department. As in, one not part of the FBI. As in..." Garcia paused, eyeing the corner of the screen where Hotch was looking up, his mind suddenly connecting the dots and realising that Garcia was about to spill the beans.

"Garcia, wait!" Hotch darted over, grabbing the laptop, the case file dropping to the ground as he rushed to the back of the plane, giving the screen a fierce glare.

"Are you serious?" He hissed quietly, closing the curtain as if it prevented the others from hearing him. "Whatever it is you have learned in the past 24 hours about me is 100% confidential until I deem otherwise, do you understand?" Hotch fumbled through his pockets, pulling out earphones to plug in so that Garcia could speak without anyone else hearing. She smiled cheerfully, oblivious to the seething looks she was getting.

"I don't know sir, I think it's sweet," The analyst twirled a pen between her fingers, giving her boss a smile. "I mean, buying a house without telling her? Ugh, cliché but _very _well received. Although, it's not like none of us foresaw it. Let's see the ring, by the way."

Hotch ground his teeth, glancing back at the curtain. He knew the team were probably jostling around each other just behind that curtain, and he turned back to the camera, choosing his words carefully.

"I don't have that yet, Garcia, I was hoping someone of your skill set would have been able to help me get it," Hotch looked on at his colleague pleadingly. She squealed. Literally, squealed right there, dropping the pen and clutching at her face.

"Oh my _God_, you're actually thinking of buying one? I was just kidding but this! _This is so perfect, sir_."

"I was hoping for as much."

"Is she right there? POP THE QUESTION NOW, I'LL RUN OUT AND HAVE THE PERFECT RING BY THE TIME YOU GUYS LAND!"

"I have my doubts on that method, let's try the usual one."

"Ugh," Garcia rolled her eyes, retrieving the pen. "Men. So by the book."

"Well? Would we be able to retrieve it? It'll probably take a long time, I think we'll need to recruit someone else and work on it during weekends."

"IT'LL BE LIKE A GIRL'S DAY OUT."

"Excuse me?" Hotch practically dropped the computer. How the hell was he supposed to keep up his image of stern boss with Garcia saying things like that?

"Please, I meant that we take JJ along. Nothing against my Chocolate Thunder, but I doubt he'd be very good at doing that kind of thing."

"You're right. But we're all tired, so let's continue this Saturday at 8."

"Make it 12, I need my beauty sleep."

"Yes, fine, whatever. Contact your people and I'm going to go sleep."

Garcia smiled, and then paused as if gathering up the courage to say something. "Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"I think..." She looked down, thinking. "I'm just so happy for you, sir. You and she deserve this. I think that you two, together, are the best thing that's happened to either of you."

Hotch smiled, almost gushing and sitting down on the floor of the plane and just talking to Garcia about Emily for hours, like some lovesick teenager. But he heard a light cough outside the curtain and the sound of someone shoving another, hissing out a reprimand and he remembered he wasn't exactly alone.

"Thank you Penelope, but I'm going to leave now. Sleep and all that," He smiled graciously. "Enjoy your hunt."

"Will do, sir."

Hotch closed the laptop, stepping forward and waiting for the sounds of people dashing all over the plane into their respective spots to dispense before pushing aside the curtain. He glanced around, noting how normal everyone looked.

"What did Garcia want?" Reid piped up, only to be jabbed by JJ, who gave him a fierce look.

"Oh, nothing, it was just this project we need to work on," He sat down between Emily and JJ wearily, rubbing at his eyes. "It's probably going to take a while."

"What project would you be working o- Ah! JJ, stop it!" Reid puzzled aloud, finishing with a squeak as JJ jabbed him again.

Hotch pretended to look confused as he watched the two. "Reorganizing some of the files online. You alright, Reid?"

"Fine, just have an _itch _that needs _taking care of_." He glared at JJ, who looked down to check her phone.

"I think there's cream for itches, Reid."

"Not for this type," He sighed dramatically, returning to the book he was reading. Hotch smiled, retrieving the case file from the floor of the plane, only to have it knocked out of his hand again by JJ, who dropped her phone to the ground in surprise as she received a text from Garcia.

"JJ?" Hotch tried to catch her eye hurriedly, easing as she looked up at him, giving him the most proud smile he'd ever seen.

"Garcia just told me," JJ whispered, eyeing Emily who was on Hotch's other side, flipping through songs on her iPod. "Saturday?"

"Yeah, at 12."

"She's going to be so happy, Hotch," JJ looked like she was about to tear up. "God, I can't believe you're doing this already."

"Me neither, but let's keep it on the down low, hm?"

JJ winked conspiratorially, picking up her phone and texting back in a rush.

Hotch leaned back, stretching an arm lazily over Emily's shoulders and pressing a kiss to her temple as he scanned the case file, not taking in any of the information.

They were going to get a house together. With Jack. Married. They were going to spend the rest of their lives together.

The feeling in his gut wasn't love, wasn't excitement, wasn't a hint of nervousness. It was all of those things, combining in a fugue of something he had never felt before.

It was perfect.

_**The Girl – City and Colour**_


	47. I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home

Episode: Profiling 101

"Hey, can you meet me somewhere? I need to show you something," Hotch stood outside the house, staring up at it, phone pressed against his ear. The sun was just beginning to set, golden rays filtering down over the rooftop. It was a basic two story house, with 2 bedrooms and a guest room, various bathrooms, a kitchen that would make Rossi proud and a living room that was just... perfect. The whole thing was so domestic that Hotch almost expected a white picket fence to pop up and a dog to come running out the front door.

"Uh, yeah, sure? Why, is there some super-secret you're hiding?" Emily laughed, the sound carrying over and making Hotch's stomach flip and a smile to tug at his lips.

"Kind of," he told her the address, explaining that he couldn't tell her anything else and hanging up. He sighed, staying rooted to the spot. Jack had already been there, obviously, and the moment he'd seen it, he had grabbed Hotch's hand and looked up at him, grinning broadly.

"Do I have my own room?"

"You bet."

"Is Emmy gonna live with us?"

"I think so. For a long time."

"Forever?"

"We'll see."

"Do I call her Mommy now?"

Hotch paused a moment, tensing up. Where was a handbook when you needed it?

"I- Not for now, Jack. Maybe one day."

That had been good enough for him, the small boy running forward and bursting through the door of the house, practically running over the realtor as Hotch just laughed on the front steps, thinking about his crazy, patchwork family.

OoOoOoO

"So, what was it you wanted to show me, Aaron?" Emily stepped out of the car, giving Hotch a quick peck on the lips before surveying the building before them.

"Wow, nice house."

"Yeah, I think so. Wanna... look around it?"

Emily smiled, poking Hotch in the ribs. "I'm pretty sure that's trespassing."

Hotch shuffled his feet, swallowing before answering softly. "Not if we own it."

There was a second of silence, then another and another.

"Oh God, Emily, please say something? Anything? Even that you hate it. I can deal with it. I know it's probably not perfect and it's not really like a substitute for your old apartment, but I just think that-"

"Aaron, it's perfect."

He stopped, jaw hanging for a second before he came to his senses and closed his mouth. "Really? You... mean it?"

"It's beautiful, Aaron, I mean I know you said you were thinking about getting a place, but I didn't know that you were so serious. I mean," Emily shook her head slowly, staring up at the place. "We have a house. We have a house together with Jack and we're going to live here and maybe invite the team over after cases and-" Emily stopped, just staring at the house.

"Em?"

"Has Jack seen it?"

"Yeah, he loves it almost as much as you."

Emily just smiled, leaning against Hotch and breathing. In, out, in, out. They lived together. For real, now. This was her life now and it was everything she ever wanted.

... Right?

**_Home - Phillip Phillips_**


	48. I Was Scared, Tired, and Under Prepared

Episode: Hit

A job offer. Emily stepped out of the room, shaking as she told JJ and Reid she needed to go to the washroom. A job offer from Clyde. Interpol.

Shaking her head as she pushed her way into the washroom, Emily ran her hand under the faucet, splashing cold water onto her face. Was this really happening? Was she even considering it? They had just finished moving into the new house that morning, too.

That morning. It seemed so long ago that Emily barely remembered it. Jack had wanted to play. Emily had been going back and forth between him and Hotch. Busy. She had been busy. But now, she was calm. She was in the eye of the storm, in her element. And she'd be even more in her element if she were running the Interpol office.

But she couldn't think about that now. Maybe not ever. Rubbing her face dry, Emily stepped out of the bathroom, finding a Kevlar vest sitting outside the door. With a sigh, she picked it up and strapped it on.

This was the job. She needed to know that she could do it.

OoOoOoO

Emily stepped forward, making her way inside the building. For a moment, it was just another mission, then, with a slight twitch of her nose, everything changed.

"STOP, EVERYBODY GET OUT!"

Fear surged through her, emotions peaking and suddenly Emily's mind fixated on Hotch. But it was too late. Glass flexed and metal thrummed and suddenly fire filled the air.

OoOoOoO

"Sir, I've seen Morgan and JJ but I haven't seen Emily."

Fear. His first emotion was completely and utter dread, the adrenaline running through his body spiking as his head whipped to the side and he tried to run towards the bank.

"No, sir, wait!" Garcia reached out and grabbed at his sleeve, Hotch whipping around, seething as Garcia drew her arm back. "Morgan's already in there and so is JJ. They'll find her, sir. They. Will. Find. Her."

Hotch turned, frantically searching every inch of the building that he could see. Every instinct he had was to run but something kept him rooted in place. Years on the job, maybe. Or just the simple fact that it was pointless to go in there if Morgan and JJ were already searching.

"Garcia if you see her then you come and find me right away, _do you understand_?"

The blonde nodded, her ponytail bobbing along with her motion.

"Yes, sir," She whispered, dashing off as Hotch scanned the building once more, dread pooling in his stomach.

OoOoOoO

"He's my love of 66 years," The woman stared up at Emily, her gaze penetrating. "My story."

All Emily could do was nod, trying to smile at the couple. Suddenly her mind was back on Hotch. She tried not to think about how much he was probably worrying about her, how panicked he must have been, how distracted. The distracted part was what scared her. She knew his eyes wouldn't leave the building until she was out and safe and god, she knew he'd be phoning Jessica or Jack right now, telling them they were safe and trying to reassure them, even though he was scared himself. Maybe he was even talking to Jack, explaining that he had work to do. 'Important work,' he'd say, and Jack would wonder if he was a superhero and would draw a picture of Hotch all dressed up in a superhero costume. When they got home, it would join the tens of other pictures, all of Hotch and some of Emily, flying, running, even lifting things high above their heads. But most of all, saving people.

And that was what she did best. And that was what she was doing now. And that was what she'd be able to do more of at Interpol.

OoOoOoO

"Come on, Emily, don't you miss this? Think about it."

"Yeah, I will."

She swallowed thickly, looking around and jogging quickly towards the van. She shook the confusion out of her head and entered the van. Immediately moving to Hotch's side, brushing against him in a moment of trying to calm the two of them down. It almost didn't work, the tension in the room mounting ever higher, but his hand lowered, brushing hers and twining their fingers for just a second before pulling away, continuing as if nothing had happened.

It wasn't much, but at the time, it was enough.

OoOoOoO

"Aaron, a word," Hotch turned to see Strauss leaving the van and growled in his throat. Couldn't she see they had serious issues right now? He followed her out, about to give her a piece of his mind when she whirled on him, eyes narrowing.

"Are you in a romantic relationship with SSA Prentiss?"

Ah. The can of worms opens.

"Yes, ma'am, I am." Hotch figured he couldn't—wouldn't—lie his way out of this one.

"And you didn't think to inform me of this? How long has it been going on?"

Hotch shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. There were countless hostages being endangered and she was bringing up his love life?

"Since the end of the Doyle case, I suppose," He replied, pressing his lips together.

"You suppose?"

"I know." Good god, he definitely couldn't bring up the years before when he'd pined for her like a lovesick teen.

Strauss eyed him, almost seeing through his lie. "So you've had almost 10 or so months to inform me?"

"Yes, but I thought that if I could prove to you that we could do our job despite our relationship, it would count in our favour."

"I suppose it does, but you will be getting regular reports done on how you two work together in the field done by SSA Rossi and SSA Morgan. All paperwork you do about or for Agent Prentiss will go through me first to be screened for bias."

Hotch dipped his head and turned back to the van, stopped by a hand touching his arm. He turned and saw Strauss looking momentarily conflicted. "But—" she paused, lowering her arm. "—Congratulations, Aaron."

"Thank you, Chief Strauss."

OoOoOoO

"I found Will." Hotch's head swivelled and he scanned the area. Where was she?

"Is he mobile?"

"Negative, he's got... six transmitters on him. This whole place is gonna blow."

"Alright, where are you, I'm on my way." More fear filled him, and Hotch was trying not to think about how scared he was for her. _This is the job, this is the job, this is the job_. He listened closely as his radio crackled and Emily spoke again.

"No, you've gotta get everyone out, is the bomb squad here yet?"

"It's three minutes away."

"Copy."

Ever building fear was coursing through Hotch as he began making his way through the crowds. Emily was somewhere in the building and with Will, who was strapped to six transmitters. By the sound of her voice, they didn't have the three minutes that it would take the bomb squad to get there, and as far as he knew, it was all up to Emily.

Emily. Emily who had been drifting away, tugging at the strings that held them together. On the surface, she was fine. Picture perfect and all that. But underneath he could tell, something was wrong. Something that only she could fix. Did she want to leave? Did she just want to leave him? It would take more time than he had to figure out and with a resolute push forward, retracing Morgan's steps as he ran down the sidewalk, Hotch knew that the only thing he had to focus on right now was either putting these people behind bars or putting them down.

_**In My Place - Coldplay**_


	49. I Hope We Dance Tonight

Episode: ... And Run

"I thought buying a house and setting down roots would fix everything but it just... I just feel confused now." Music drifted into the room from outside and the gentle sound of laughter and people speaking should have calmed her, but instead just made Emily tense up.

"So is that what Hotch and Jack are, roots?"

"No, god no. They're everything. You guys, them, you're all the whole reason why I haven't just packed up and left already." Emily looked up at Derek who sipped at his drink as casually as if they were discussing the weather.

"So what changed?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe the job offer, maybe that was just an opening for me to say what I've been feeling. But Hotch—_Aaron_—stabilised me. He grounded me and now I don't know anymore, Derek. I'm afraid that if I leave I'll be leaving behind the best things in my life."

"And if you stay?"

"Am I doing enough here?" Emily held Derek's gaze for a beat and he lowered the glass, placing it on the counter beside him.

"How can you say that? You saved Will, you saved that couple who were hiding in the bank, you save countless people every case we have-"

"-And lose countless more." Emily finished, her voice pleading.

"It sounds like you want to go."

"Like I said, I'm confused."

"I think you two need to talk about this, Emily."

"Derek, I can't,"

"Can't what?" Garcia appeared, practically out of nowhere, eyeing the two viciously.

"It's nothing, Penelope, let's go and show Kevin that he and his date aren't the only ones who can own the dance floor, hm?" Derek threw one last glance back at Emily as he stalked away, his arm wrapped around Garcia's shoulders.

"Well, that's something new, I guess," Emily braced herself as Hotch came in behind her, trying not to laugh as Garcia garbled on about Kevin. Emily sipped her drink in reply.

"Ok, how are you?" Hotch reached forward, turning Emily's shoulder so she could face him. Emily exhaled slowly, her breath shuddering and as long as the list of things she was trying to sort in her mind.

"That bad?" His genuine concern was plastered across his face and Emily was hit by the dizzying need to cry. Maybe not here, maybe not even that day, but she could tell that whenever she broke, she was going to break hard.

"... What?"

"That's your tell," Hotch's face had fallen into his profiler's gaze and Emily tried not to feel like an UNSUB, hiding secrets.

"I-It is?"

"Mhm."

"For how long?"

"Uh, ever since... I've known you?"

"Uh... well, you have one too."

"I do," he grinned, a laugh bubbling up through his chest and Emily... Emily just wanted to cry more. But she laughed instead, continuing on with her charade.

"Only I'm not going to tell you what it is or you'll stop doing it."

"I see," he held the smile for a moment before continuing. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Absolutely," Emily nodded, knowing everything that the question encompassed. "But not now,"

"First thing tomorrow?"

"It's a date."

"Okay," Hotch dipped his head, jerking his head towards the yard. "I'm going to be out there. Come find me when you feel like it."

And then he was gone, and Emily was suddenly alone.

OoOoOoO

_They're playing our song  
They're playing our song  
Can you see the lights?  
Can you hear the hum?_

"Hey," Emily crept down the path, stepping onto the dance floor and suddenly being pulled in by Reid, of all people.

"Why Spencer, I do believe you clean up nicely," Emily grinned at him as they twirled around in a circle. He was grinning from ear to ear, but something in his eyes told Emily that he knew. Derek had told him.

"Thanks, and I probably shouldn't keep you too long, but Hotch is all tied up with Garcia so I thought this would be a good time to say that," he spun around again, trying to think of the right words to say and coming up blank. In a fit of desperation, he blurted out what came to mind. "-That... it would suck if you didn't stick around. You're basically the big sister I never had and always wanted and if you left, just sort of disappeared on me, well," Reid stopped spinning and they slowed to a gentle sway. "Well that would just be the absolute worst thing that I could think of right now. And you and Will almost got blown up by a bomb, so put it in perspective."

Emily could feel the tears welling up, but she tamped them down, pushing them away as she smiled what felt like a watery smile and pulled away from Reid, whispering a thanks and being swept up instead by...

"Derek," Emily shook her head. "I should've known."

_Of our song  
I hope they get it right  
I hope we dance tonight  
Before we, get it wrong_

"Indeed you should have, Madame," he grinned and spun around, dipping Emily down and pulling her back up. "Havin' a chat with Spence?"

"You told him."

"He guessed and I agreed."

"I think... I think I might have decided, Derek."

The man froze, Emily leading him so they continued to sway gently back and forth as she raised her chin and whispered in his ears. Stepping back, Emily gave Derek a sad smile, then turned away from him and found herself tangled up in Rossi's arms.

_And the seasons  
Will change us new  
Be the best I've known  
and you know me  
I could not be stuck on you  
If it were true_

The old Italian raised his eyebrows at her, as if daring her to say something to him.

"You knew I wasn't dead, Dave," Emily snorted. "I know you know what's going on, too."

"Wasn't going to push, but yeah, I know. Have you made a decision?"

"I have."

"Is it the right one?"

"God, I hope so,"

"Well then," Rossi looked over Emily's shoulder, spotting Hotch crossing the dance floor and moving towards Emily with a singular desire. "I think it sounds like you need a bit more convincing,"

_I was swimming  
My eyes were dark  
Til you woke me  
And told me that opening__  
is just the start  
it was_

Emily groaned good naturedly as she found herself being passed along back to Reid, being turned in a flurry and finding Derek there instead, then somehow joining up with JJ and Garcia, all the while having words of encouragement and pleas whispered in her ear while Hotch seemed never to be far from the corner of her eye.

Finally, she found herself back with Rossi, pointedly eyeing Hotch who was moving ever closer.

"Emily," Rossi's face was dead serious now. "Are. You. Sure?"

Emily's shoulders drooped and her head dipped down, eyes running across the reflection of the fairy lights that hung above. This could all be hers someday.

"Yes," Emily's head shot back up and she trained it on Rossi's gaze, neither wavering in the slightest.

_Now I see you, til kingdom come  
You're the one I want  
To see me for all the stupid shit I've done_

A cough came from behind them and Emily reached forward as she pulled away from Rossi, who made some joke that was lost on both Hotch and Emily as the two moved close to each other.

"I was scared you actually weren't going to come find me," His voice had never sounded so good as it did that moment and Emily couldn't help the grin that spread across it as they swayed slowly, other dancers whirling all around them as time slowed to nothing. Hotch's hand clasped in Emily's and his hand rested on her hip as she splayed hers across his back, leaning closer.

"Please, don't flatter yourself, you were near the food."

"I'm not now, though,"

"No, you aren't, are you?"

"I'm tired," Hotch paused, realising for a moment that he actually was. "Want to grab a drink?"

"Yeah," Emily sighed. "I really need a drink."

_Soil and six feet under  
Kept just like we were  
Before you knew you'd know me  
And you know me_

Hotch grinned as he tugged her off the dance floor, never letting go of her hand as he poured them both drinks. He was still scared on the inside, of her being shot, of her being blown up by a bomb, of her leaving him. But the gentle squeeze of her hand in his was comforting, to say the least. There would always be something to be scared of, but that didn't mean it was worth the time.

Hotch pulled Emily over, sitting them both down on a bench, off to the side where they couldn't be seen as well. For a moment, neither spoke.

"It's midnight."

"Is it? I'm not really surprised, we've been here a while," Emily looked over at Hotch, who was looking down. "Why, what's the significance of midnight?"

"It's first thing tomorrow morning."

Emily closed her eyes, nodding slowly. "Alright. What do you want to know?"

"You were thinking of leaving. Probably to Interpol, seeing as Clyde Easter called you. Not to mention that you were having some long winded discussion with Morgan earlier today."

Emily didn't say anything at first, unsurprised in the least at how good Hotch's profiling skills were. "Yeah, that's all true,"

"So are you still going to leave?" Emily's heart was breaking at the sound of Hotch's voice. It wasn't a plea, it was just a question. He wasn't trying to sway her, he just wanted an answer. Emily looked up into Hotch's eyes.

_Blooming up from the ground  
3 Rounds and a sound  
Like whispering you know me  
And you know me_

"No," She opened her mouth to say more, but suddenly lips were being molded against hers, an enormous sigh of relief visibly running through Hotch's body. The tension eased and his free hand crept up, winding through her hair and Emily just felt the bubble that had been swelling up through her chest burst, kissing back as if her life depended on it.

For a moment, they were alone in their own universe, nothing distracting them except the music, some song that drifted high above them as the pair slowly forgot everything. Soft kisses peppered each other's lips and slowly they drew apart with one last long, lingering kiss.

"No regrets?" His hand ran down her neck and Emily could see the deer in headlights look or worry flit across his face.

"Not one."

_So this was our song  
This was our song  
I still see the lights  
I can see them_

By one, people had dispensed, Will taking Jack and Henry back to his and JJ's place, fond farewells mingling through the air and soon it was just the team left, JJ still in her dress and dancing with Rossi, laughter bubbling up through the air. Garcia was trying unsuccessfully to dance with Reid, who apparently didn't get the concept while Derek just laughed, trying to pretend that he was being serious.

"I'm sorry," Emily and Hotch were swaying again, drifting all over the dance floor, careful to stray away from Reid, whose arms apparently had a mind of their own. "I know how much uh, panic I caused you."

Hotch shrugged lightly, leaning his head lightly against hers. "I guess so, but I'm just happy you're sure now." He rolled his eyes, nudging her lightly and smiling in spite of himself. "Nothing like a bomb to make you realise what you're missing out on, hm?"

_And the criss cross  
Of what is true, won't get to us  
Cause you know me  
I could not give up on you_

Emily sighed in agreement, watching her friends move around, lights above mixing with stars in the reflection upon the floor and giving everything a yellow-white glow. Soft words mingled with the music that nobody was really paying attention to and it hit Emily a second time that one day, she wasn't even sure when, but she was going to marry this man. The same image of her slowly walking down an aisle, the white dress, team on either side, Hotch...

"You okay?"

The words were old now, almost a cliché, but Emily really was okay this time. Everything was okay and it didn't matter what happened in the future because she was with him.

"Yeah," Was all she could think to say. "Yeah, everything's more than okay."

_And the criss cross  
Of what is true, won't get to us  
Cause you know me  
I could not give up on you_

"So if I were to, I don't know, tell you that you look even more beautiful than the day that I met you and that I swear to god, I'm pretty sure I fell for you the moment I saw you, would you still be okay?"

Emily laughed, shaking her head. "Careful, Aaron, you're going to lose your rep as scary."

"I think I can let it slide," He whispered, head rising up as he made eye contact with Garcia, whose face lit up as she turned to JJ, shaking with excitement. Hotch looked back down at Emily smiling broadly as she gave him a puzzle smile. "Aaron?"

"I just thought I'd give you a heads up on the plan that Garcia and JJ and I put in motion a while back."

"Oh? Should I be jealous?" Emily teased as Hotch stepped back, plucking a box out of the air as Garcia tossed it to him from inside her jacket. Derek, Rossi and Reid had stopped dancing, watching, puzzled, the events slowly unfold.

_And the fog of what is right  
Won't cover us cause you know me  
I could not give up a fight_

Slowly, Hotch turned back to Emily, glancing down for a moment at the velvet black box in his hands, then back at her. Emily's face was morphing from confusion to utter surprise and Hotch grinned as he lowered down on one knee, opening the box and displaying the ring that he, JJ and Garcia had picked out only a week ago.

It had been in a tiny, dingy store and they'd only gone in because Garcia had insisted. They walked in and immediately the analyst had fluttered around the dual cases (they only had two!) her excitement contagious.

"This one?"

"No, too big."

"What about this?"

"Too... not her."

They'd almost left when Garcia had stopped, grabbing Hotch's sleeve and jabbing her finger towards a small ring, silver with a diamond right in the middle, two blue jewels on either side of it and a small swirl engraving along the rest of the outside of the ring.

"Oh," was all JJ could say, her hand going to her mouth.

"Oh," was all Hotch could say as he waved the attendant over to get a better look at the ring. "That's the one," he whispered, looking up at Garcia. "That's the ring I'm going to propose with,"

And he did.

"Emily Prentiss, would you do me the honour of being okay with Jack and I for the rest of our lives?"

Silence. Emily stared, dumbfounded at Hotch as he kneeled in place, smiling up at her. Her mouth opened and for another moment still, she said nothing. Finally, she found her voice, looking up at her friends surrounding her and back down at the ring before her.

"Yes, of course, yes."

A cheer went up through the other team members and they all crowded around as Hotch stood, sliding the ring onto Emily's hand and pulling her into a kiss.

"I love you," He whispered, as Rossi went to get champagne to toast them.

"I love you too," Emily whispered back, pressing closer to Hotch, arms wrapping around her, the team gathering in some kind of group hug, laughing and congratulating and Emily realised that she could never leave.

And she didn't want to.

_Soil and six feet under  
Kept just like we were  
Before you knew you'd know me  
And you know me_

_**3 Rounds and a Sound – Blind Pilot**_


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: **And that's the end. I'm actually quite sorry for this taking so long, but I feel like this didn't exactly come out just right. I've been taking down some fics that I don't have enough time or inspiration to finish, and to be honest, my muse has been so dead for the last while that I can't even think of anything. But, I hope to work out some more fics with these two because they're basically one of my top 3 OTPs, so look forward to it!

Also: Here's the entire list of songs used in this fic in order! ENJOY!

Find You – Brianna Gaither

Sunshine in Your Eyes – Oh My!

I'm With You – The Stills

Little Numbers – BOY

Across the Universe – The Beatles

Hi, Hey There, Hello – The Mowgli's

Never Go Solo – Islands

Milwaukee – Stephen Kelogg

Float – Ko Ko

Been There Before – Ghost Beach

Give a Little Less – Jasmine Ash

Do You Love Me – Guster

My Fault – Imagine Dragons

How Much More – Stars

Shake, Shake, Shake – Bronze Radio Return

History's Door – Husky

Shoelaces – The Submarines

Mushaboom – Feist

Doo Doo Doo – Computer

Rivers and Roads – The Head and the Heart

Rusted Heart – Mike Edel and the Fugitives

Cosmic Ambulance – Lavers

All I Wanna Know – Dear Rouge and Alexandria Maillot

Save Me – We are the Grand

Never Thought I'd See the Day – The School

Chocolate – Snow Patrol

See You Soon – Coldplay

The Writer – Ellie Goulding

Red Heart – Hey Rosetta!

Slow and Steady – Of Monsters and Men

Only the Young – Brandon Flowers

Giant Hands – Dog & Panther

We Will Not Grow Old – Lenka

Mars – Effi

In the Open – Benjamin Francis Leftwich

Break Hands – Cameras

Hideaway – The Weepies

From the Clouds – Jack Johnson

Fix You – Coldplay

Boys Will Be Kings – Raised by Wolves

Down the Burning Ropes – James Vincent McMorrow

Be Still – The Fray

The Girl – City and Colour

Home – Phillip Phillips

In My Place – Coldplay

3 Round and a Sound – Blind Pilot


End file.
